Day 31 - What I learnt after 30 days of blogging continuously

It wasn't easy, blogging for 30 days continuously. I look at my posts from 7-8 years ago and I'm amazed at how chatty I was. I also note a downward slope in blogging as my published writing took off. I find that I'm increasingly reserved on my blog now. On some days this last month I had to struggle for something to write about. It is not like things aren't happening - they are, and sometimes at breakneck speed. I just don't feel like noting it all down on my blog. Perhaps I've just changed.

There's another reason that I think is the main culprit. The lack of response and interaction on the blog. After the advent of Facebook, I prefer saying things on FB, because of the engagement levels there. I get responses, I get to converse, exchange ideas . . . In the heydays of blogging, it was like that even here. Just open one of my old posts and see the deluge of comments out there. At that time, there was a kind of motivation. Now, I feel I am speaking to a void. I know some readers are still there somewhere, but I know that posting comments is a pain. Why, even I don't post comments on blogs I read. It is so much more easier on FB, even though I keep reminding myself that for me, FB and the blog have totally different purposes. FB is to network, and the blog is to record. And yet . . .

I have some more travel posts pending, but I myself got tired of those. So I'll take a break and then post them.

Meanwhile, I've decided not to subject myself to this enforced blogging for a while at least!

Day 1 - The greatest challenge in blogging

I broke my head for over a month, wondering if I should indeed give myself this challenge.  It's one thing giving yourself a private challenge, but it is a completely different matter to make a commitment in public, and then scramble about, trying not to fall face first in the mud.  

After I put up yesterday's post, the mouse kept moving towards the delete button, but my will prevailed, and so it stays.  

But why is it so difficult to blog nowadays?  It came so easily to me before.  Now, though I have started writing professionally, it seems more difficult to articulate my thoughts on the blog.

My blog has been running for eight years.  Initially, I made up blog posts on the long commutes to and from work, and when I got to a computer, I would write it all down.  I wrote about my life, my experiences, my opinions - everything I saw would turn into a blog post.  I liked that.  I had the time to turn thoughts around in my head and format it into a nice, interesting post.   My old posts are jaunty, carefree, and fun to read, even if I say so myself! And oh, I had lots and lots of commenters, and I had the time and the patience to answer them all individually and with wit.  That made more people comment, and so, my blog was a very lively place.  

After Puttachi was born, my blog took on a whole new slant.  Posts on parenting and posts about my baby became frequent.  The young and the restless looked elsewhere, but from another direction, a whole new audience came by.  But at this point, I didn't have the time nor the energy to reply individually to comments, though I tried.  But thankfully, that didn't drive my readers away - the numbers tell me so.  But the blog is more of a one-way affair now.  It is sad, but inevitable.  

So coming back to this question, why do I blog less now?  The main reason pops right up - I am more judgmental about my writing now.  I am too critical about what I write, and before I put anything up, I think twice, and thrice, and four times, by which the urge to put that post up has long since fizzled out.  

So this challenge is my way of trying to get over that mental block.  Let's see how it goes!

Day 1 of the month-long posting challenge.

500

I don't usually mark milestones on my blog, but this calls for a celebration.  500 posts.  Coming to think of it, it is not such a big number at all for all that I have said over more nearly seven years. 

But what a journey!  How I agonized before publishing my first post!  I was so shy about showing my writing to the world.  I rightly guessed that blogging would cure me of that hesitation, and now here I am, 500 posts later, with a few writing successes to my credit.

In these 500 posts you can see my journey from a clueless and irresponsible new bride, to the mother of a five-year old, someone who doles out hot (albeit shapeless) phulkas as effortlessly as she doles out unsolicited parenting advice (heh.)

You can see me transition from someone who wrote to escape the boredom of a job I wasn't interested in - to someone who writes for the love of writing.

A large part of what blogging did was to open me up to an entirely new world out there - to people who have affected my life profoundly in ways I would never have imagined.  There are people who wouldn't ever have come into my life if not for blogging.  Windows have opened that led to doors, and more doors, and with that came more people - and the learning, the discovery, the joys - phew!

I'll stop the gushing - I'm sure you get the picture.

Some of you have been with me all through that time. Some have joined me later, a few have held my hand in the beginning, but you've moved on since.  Some have been silent, some of you have constantly spoken to me. But each one of you has contributed to me and my writing in some way or the other, so thank you all for being there.

This and that

If you read my blog on a feedreader, you might have noticed a few posts that speak about Puttachi who is definitely younger than she is now.  I was just going through my drafts and deleted some.  I found a few which had some things I didn't want to forget, and so I published them.

And if you are wondering why the sudden prolific blogging, Puttachi goes to school full time now, and so I have some solid time for myself.  :)

From darkness to light

My earliest memory of eating mangoes is that of a bunch of us kids in our underwear, standing in our grandparents' backyard, eating slices of mangoes, while the juice ran down our chins and arms.

Fast forward to my teens.  I had braces on my teeth.  It wasn't, to put it mildly, easy to clean the mango fibres stuck in my braces, and so mangoes had started irritating me. Besides, there was one time when I ate a mango with the elastic bands (of the braces) on, and the off-white bands got stained yellow, and became bloated.  I was so repulsed by the sight of them that I swore off mangoes forever.

My terrible vow became a matter of great consternation for my family, especially for my mother.  She couldn't get even a piece of mango down her throat when I was around, because she felt guilty for eating such a delicious fruit "without giving it to me."  Mothers!

Fast forward to my first year of marriage.  My Father-in-law enjoyed buying the best fruits, cutting them neatly, and putting the pieces into bowls for everyone in the family.  I liked that. Who wouldn't, being handed delicious fruits - ready to eat - on a platter?

Then the mango season arrived, and my Father-in-law bought the first few mangoes home, cut them up and handed all of us bowls of mangoes.

"Ah no," I was about to say.  "I don't like mangoes."

But then something happened.  I looked at the bowl.  I looked at the mango.  I don't know what it was - was it that I was hungry?  Was it that my body was craving sugar at that time?  Was it that my subconscious finally got rid of the yuck-factor of the bloated yellow elastic bands from my memory?

I don't know.  And frankly, I don't care.  For I picked up a piece and put it into my mouth.  Squish - went the fruit.  Squirt - went the juice.  And I chewed and I closed my eyes while I went to heaven.

It was like I was tasting a mango for the first time.  I ate another piece, and then another, and before I knew it, my bowl was empty.

I sat there, with just one thought running through my head - "Excuse me, what just happened here?"

"Oh, I can see you like mangoes," said my mother-in-law, smiling.

I came out of my trance, looked at her, and took a deep breath.

"Yes," I said.  "I love mangoes."

(Written for the Tulika Summer Blogathon)

Copycat

I realized I should do this more often - but today, I just entered my blogname into http://copyscape.com, and found that this website  has copied this post of mine  word to word, with no credit, of course.  I've written to them to ask them to remove it from the site. Waiting to hear from them.

Suggestions on what else I could do?

Update on 20th.: thank you all for your support! Citrus Heights got back to me and told me they have removed the post, and also notified the blogger who posted it on their site. But that blogger still has that post on her blog
There is no contact info on her blog, and only members are allowed to comment on her blog. What should I do next? Report to google?

Update on 25th:  Since I had no way to contact the plagiarist blogger and resolve this privately, I had to approach Google.  They were very quick, within a few hours, they got the content removed from the page and reported it to me.

The blogger now has a note at the end of that page, in which she calls me a cyber stalker and a bully and accuses me of stealing her content, and plays the martyr, saying she cannot help it if people choose to steal from her!  And this from a person who had copied my content so directly, that she had retained words like "menthya" and "methi" that were in my post, the meanings of which there is not the remotest chance of her knowing!  :) And the only way I could copy her was for me to travel forward in time to  May 4th, read her post, come back to  May 1st and write it all down.  Phew, some people, I tell you!

Anyway, I hope that's the end of that.

New and improved (?)

Nope, you haven't come to the wrong blog. I've decided to change the look of my blog. Feels strange - after six years of having the same look. I did try a makeover once, with disastrous results, but this time, I'm going in for a no-nonsense look. I'll probably stick to it - and hope that this clutter-freeness rubs off on me in real-life (ha, if only things were that simple!)

Guilty mommy

I'm one of the three winners in the Mommy guilt contest!

Blogger's Choice Awards

My friend Vidya has been sweet enough to nominate my blog for the Blogger's Choice Award, in the category of the Best Parenting Blog.



Now, people, I need your help. :) Please go to this site, and sign up here

Now go to this page, or just click on the badge above, and please vote for me!

Thank you!

Where to find good outfits for kids!

Look what comes from pouring your heart out to dear friends - Solutions!

In response to my tale of woe in my last post, many suggestions poured in. Wunderyearz mentioned Dolphin's in Malleshwaram. Just as I was planning my next trip to Malleshwaram, Collection of Stars wrote to say that there is a Dolphin's in Jayanagar 4th Block. I immediately did an online search, got the phone number of the Jayanagar outlet, called them, found out the location, and landed up at the place yesterday. [It is on 11th main, 4th block Jayanagar, in the basement of Pizza Corner].

It is a small place. Not too many clothes, and they are all displayed on the rack. Not like in other places where you ask the salesperson to show this and that, and then you find that you don't like anything and then you feel bad for having asked her to show you so many outfits.

Oh yes, and the clothes are good! Bright, and smart designs, and easy on the pocket. I liked most of them. We bought a nice sunny yellow dress for Puttachi.

Collection of Stars also mentioned "Desi". I haven't been to Desi after Puttachi was born, but I have visited a similar store (sister concern??), "Parampara" in Mysore. I got a very pretty copper sulphate blue frock from there for just Rs.65. It is very pretty. The only problem is, of course, that it runs colour and it needs to be handwashed. [I also got a very beautiful skirt for myself at Parampara, but I am digressing].

Kanti Joshi mentioned "Solo" and "Crystal" on DVG Road.

Solo puts up a sale regularly at the hall next to Aavani Shankar Mutt in Basaveshwaranagar. I have gone there twice since Puttachi was born, and we found that some of the designs were very good. And most of them were at unbelievably reasonable prices. I was just thinking that I should try and catch up with the next Solo sale, and so I am glad that Kanti Joshi told me about the Solo outlet.

Sumi Akka presented Puttachi with one of her first frocks - a very pretty one, and said that it was from Crystal, Mahakavi Kuvempu Road (The road connecting Navrang and Malleshwaram Circle), but I never got around to checking out the place. I am guessing the Crystal on DVG Road that Kanti mentioned is a branch.

Any other good children's clothing stores that you know of? (In Bangalore) Please leave the info in the comments section! Thank you all, and once again, hurrah for blogging!

Making friends

Today, I am more regularly in touch with friends I made through blogging, than with my "other" friends. Each time someone asks me how I know such and such a person, I say, "blog friend" and smile. Five years ago, I had college friends, school friends, colony friends, and now a new category has crept in - blog friends.

When and how do blog friends turn into real friends? It is not really after a face to face meeting. But somewhere down the line, a blogger stops being just someone and starts being a friend.

But meeting face to face does help immensely. And so here is an account of the people I have met through blogging.

The first group of blog friends I met in person are what we call the Mukta Balaga. I once stumbled upon a post speaking about the then running Kannada serial Mukta, and I made a comment on it. I came back to see further discussion, and joined, and before I knew it, I had got drawn into a major discussion on the blog. about what? Everything, but mostly something connected to Mukta. Scores of discussions and daily updates later, the conversation moved on to literature, music, spirituality, politics, and just life in general. Out of the discussions and numerous commenters and more than 5000 comments (yes!) emerged a handful of us likeminded people, and we formed a yahoo group and continued our conversations there. Next, obviously, we had to meet, and the first meet had a bonus attached to it - one of them brought along TN Seetaram himself, the very popular maker of the serial Mukta. A leisurely chat over coffee at Kamat Bugle Rock followed, with the tab being picked up by the generous man. We moved on. We meet regularly, in big groups or small groups or individually, on some pretext or no pretext at all. And when someone asks me how I know such and such a person, it takes me a minute to realize that it is only through blogs that I know them!

The next blogger friend I met was Chitra, who worked in the company next to mine. We met once during office hours, and started chatting on even personal matters as if we knew each other all along - and our friendship has only grown over the past couple of years.
In March, I met the ageless Usha, whose blog is one of my favourites. I already felt like I have known her for years, and meeting the wonderful lady was just like moving to the next level. I met her at a Film Festival which was organized by Abhipraya, another inspiring person, someone I knew only slightly. And though I know her real name very well, all I could do was say, "Hi Abhipraya, bye Abhipraya, I enjoyed myself Abhipraya." It was impossible for me to address her by her real name. So much for blog identities!

And now, over the weekend, I met Poppin's Mom and her adorable daughter, who else, Poppin. I had corresponded with Poppin's mom a bit, and meeting her in person was something I was looking forward to. She is very easy to talk to, and being with her was as comfortable as her blog makes one feel!

Like the icing on the cake, yesterday I met Anitha, whom I have greatly admired through the years. But somehow we have never been able to meet. I finally did meet her and her ebullient, affectionate little daughter, charm oozing out of every pore. Anitha is as sweet and mature a person as her mails made her out to be - and I am still on a high, having met her.

There are many more I would like to meet, and then there are a few bloggers I cannot believe I haven't met in person.

Oooh I love this way of making friends, especially at this age where I realize that making friends gets progressively more difficult due to lack of time, prejudices and plain non-effort.

Bring on the next round of bloggers! When shall we meet? :)

Connecting people.

Some time ago, I had written a post about Tina, a volunteer at the Isha yoga center at coimbatore, and how impressed I was with her. Apparently, someone sent her the link to that post, and she left a comment on my blog -

Dear Shruthi,

and all her friends here. someone sent me the link to this page and it took me a while to realize you are talking about me! but thanks. i feel humbled.

im now travelling between singapore, malaysia, lebanon, and africa, and australia and europe sometimes, teaching Inner Engineering programs.

still a full time volunteer, and the joy u saw at that time has grown 100 fold. i can barely contain it!

im writing this so that u all know that this is so close and so possible for each one of you...just needs some attention....the one taught in the Inner Engineering program is different and shorter! you could try it...

with love,
tina

I am so pleased to hear from her - blogging is wonderful, isn't it? :)

My uncle had once written about his childhood hero, Olufemi Akande, in this fabulous writeup about Black being beautiful. Within days, he received a comment from Akande's daughter. My uncle was delighted, but unfortunately, the daughter didn't leave any contact details. [If you have come here looking for Olufemi Akande, and you know him, please leave his contact details here, or mail me at the id on the top right of this page, thank you. :)]

Then there is this amazing, almost unbelievable story of Usha's. She found a thank-you card inside a used book that she bought, and just like that, she tried to deduce things about the sender's life from the words on the note, and she posted it on her blog. Two years later, she heard from that very lady! Do read both the posts - it is strangely thrilling. To think you can reach out to a perfect stranger with just a few words... you feel so connected!

Blogging has many advantages - but this, I am sure is one of the most thrilling!

Comments

I have always had a rule for myself, that I should reply to the comments I get on each post. I have done that ever since this blog began, and no matter how many comments I got, I answered. Silly, rude, inconsequential - they all got a reply. For the simple reason that I feel that if I don't reply to a comment, it is like I am not answering someone who is speaking to me.

But this has changed in the last couple of months. The time I get online has become very less - partly by choice - and what precious little time I get online is spent in mailing and writing down the thoughts in my head. Which leaves next to no time for replying to comments.

I still feel uneasy when I see that I don't reply to comments. But I have to draw a line somewhere. Having said all this, I have no right to ask you to keep commenting. But I will do just that. Please keep commenting - I love your comments - each one makes my day! On my part, I will make a sincere attempt to start replying to comments again. Also, if you need any information about anything, or need to contact me for anything at all, please mail me at shruthi dot hallucinations at gmail dot com.

While we are at it, there is another little thing - a request, I should say. Though I blog with my own name, and nothing in my blog is so personal that I have to go into hiding if my personal details are made public, I have consciously kept certain things private. Like my surname, names of my family. I don't mention where I studied, where I worked, where I live, things like that.

So, if you know about me, and if you comment on my blog, please ensure that you keep those things private too.

Thank you.

Spotlight Series at Blogbharti

We have started the Spotlight Series at Blogbharti, where well-known bloggers/writers have been invited to write on contemporary issues. Two essays are already up, and there are many, many more to come. Do hop over, and join in the discussion.

200

This is my 200th post. I didn't realize when 100 passed by, and so I thought I would make a big deal about 200.

200. Never thought I could write so much. When I first started this blog, I did so doubtfully, thinking - what will I write about? Apparently, I do have a lot to say.

Coincidentally, it has been nearly two years since I started blogging regularly.

It's been a ball - thanks, all of you - you kept me going. Your encouragement, your comments, and your friendship! So, thank you, to you and you and you.

It has been lovely knowing you all, meeting some of you in person, and getting to know some others better through email/phone. I have met many interesting and like-minded people through the blog, and that I count as one of the greatest advantages of blogging. I will not be exaggerating if I say that right now, I am more regularly in touch with my blog friends than I am with my "other" friends.

Blogging under my real name, and having all my friends and family and family's friends and friends' families read my blog, makes things difficult at times - I cannot spew out everything that's on my mind. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This suits me just fine.

Blogging has another major hazard. Many of my friends keep track of me through this blog, and when I write or call them and ask, "Hey, what's up, been a long time".. they say, "Oh yeah, sorry, I know what you have been up to, because of your blog, and I didn't realize that I haven't kept you updated."

So, you, and I mean YOU. Please close this page (after you have read till the end), open your inbox, and send me a mail. And yes, I mean you. Thank you.

Cheers!

She

She is my best friend and my confidante.
She is my partner in crime.
She and I have shared everything.
She and I have burnt gallons of midnight oil - chatting into the night.
She and I have driven people crazy with our giggling.
She and I can carry out entire conversations without speaking a word.
She is bright, witty, cheerful, and very sweet.
She is the one I miss the most, during this time when the Little One has arrived... coz..
She is far far away doing her MS in Stanford University.
She is my little sis P.

And..... At Long Last...She has started a blog!

Go read, but puh-leezzz do come back!

Drizzle

I know, I know... I haven't posted in a long time.... and I don't see much posting in the horizon either! I am extremely preoccupied with pressing matters (sounds very important without sounding like a lie). Posting will be light for quite a while, maybe even non-existent for some time.

Thanks for your concern, yes, everything is absolutely fine... I will be back in (blogging) action in no time at all.

Meanwhile, if you have time to kill, you can check out the categories I created about a month ago - I organized all my posts within these categories - it is on the sidebar.

I have been reading your blogs, but haven't been able to comment. I have been slow in responding to comments on this blog too. I will make an attempt to remedy that, but again, no guarantee. :(

Very soon, I'll be back - and how!

Blank Noise Project - Action Heroes

Blank Noise Project is back with the blogathon - and this year, we are asked to share stories of how we, as victims of street harrassment, fought back and became Action Heroes.

Now, I haven't done anything remotely heroic, which would warrant a story, but they ask -

Being a 'HERO' is relative . We are interested in knowing how you challenged yourself or didn't feel victimised?

This statement was what pushed me into writing this - I might not be an Action Hero, but I haven't always been passive either.

I had written last year about my first experience at being eve-teased.

Many many years ago. A hot summer's day. First day of the academic year. I was walking back from school with a new friend. We reached an intersection, and she and I had to go different ways.
"Bye! It was good to meet you!" I called out to her.
There were a group of guys in a car parked close to us.
"Bye to her... now meet ussssss", they called out, with wolf-whistles.
I was being eve-teased. For the first time in my life. I was horrified, and nearly struck dumb. But I desperately wanted to impress my new friend.
"Mind your own business, Mister, or I will tell the police", I hollered, in true Bollywood style.
"Oye!" said one, and opened one door of the car.
That was it. All my bravado vanished and I ran home as fast as my skinny ten-year-old legs could carry me. I reached home and half-proud, half-scared, poured it all out to my mother. She listened, eyes widening.
"Where was that car parked?"
"In front of the bar!", said I, nonchalantly.
"Shruthi! Those guys could have been drunk! They could have done anything! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT answer back to them! Just ignore them!"

After this incident, I did ignore verbal harrassment for a long time. But many times, more in recent years when my confidence has grown, I respond with what I think is a withering look. I don't know if it cows them down or not... but I feel that I have fought back in my own little way.

But those eve-teasers who brush against me in crowded streets? I always answer with a jab of my elbow, or I lash out at them - it is an instinct. Else, if the street is not too crowded and if the guy in question has not got lost in the crowd, I even turn around and shout "Heeeeeyyyy!" People turn around, and look at him and he slinks away. I have no idea about eve-teaser mentality, but I like to think that he was embarrassed and will think twice before indulging in eve-teasing again. Wishful thinking? Maybe, but I hope not.

I haven't needed to use public transport on a regular basis, but on those occasions that I have travelled in buses, and have observed a man with a propensity to stand or sit too close, I used my elbows to jab hard at him, or I have pressed down my foot very hard on his feet (this has been good fun - I can direct all my anger at his foot - but I don't wear heels, a pity)... or I have looked him in the eye and said sarcastically, "Yenu, jaaga saalada?" (What's the matter, don't have enough space?"). It works. They always move away. And sometimes, if a particularly garrulous lady is around and has viewed the entire episode, she does her bit by proclaiming loudly, "These men - they see a young girl and all they want to do is paw her"... and more in that vein. That is very satisfying indeed. It catches the attention of the whole bus, and its great to see the discomfort of the perpetrator.

I feel that any little act of fighting back or a defensive attitude, makes me feel that I have got the better of the eve-teaser. And that's what matters. The confidence to walk on the streets with my head held high.

Link Love

There are a million bloggers out there. A few of them are very good, and accordingly, enjoy a large readership. But for every well-known blogger out there, there is an equally good blogger, who for some reason or the other enjoys very little readership.

To set this right, a meme is going around, which asks you to link to those bloggers who you think deserve more readership. I picked it up from Bombay Addict's blog (he has also traced the journey of the meme) - and here I go -

Anitha at Thoughtraker - She does have a dedicated fan following - but I think she deserves much more readership - she writes beautifully.
Usha at Ageless Bonding - Thought-provoking posts about life and people. I never go away from her blog without having gained something.
Raj at Plus Ultra - One of the funniest blogs around.

There are at least half a dozen more I'd like to mention - but either they already have a fair amount of readership, or they don't blog often enough - so I'll stop here.

If you feel likewise about any blogger that you read regularly, please carry this forward. Let's all get to read more good blogs out there!

Also, I have just joined BlogBharti as one of the contributors. What I like about them is that they give preference to the so-called "Z-listers" over "A-listers". Whenever I came across good posts in unknown blogs, I would wish I could link them all on my blog and give them a little publicity - I can conveniently do that now - on BlogBharti.

Most of the blogs of my regular commenters are already on my Blog Radar. But if you come across a good blog, or a good post, on any subject, which you think deserves to be read, please lead me to it. Thank you!

Goodbye, Desipundit, and Thank You.

When I discovered the blogosphere more than a year back, I groped around in the dark for quite a while. I could just find very mediocre blogs - ones with lines like "Im goin out wid my frenz 2de 4 kofi". It was frustrating, to say the least. Just as I was about to give up, I stumbled upon Desipundit, and it was like Alladin's treasure trove. I was introduced to a host of interesting blogs - and after that, there was no stopping me. Endless topics, endless discussions - it was a whole new world out there! I became a serious blog-hopper, and very soon, started my own blog.

It was thanks to Desipundit, too, that I got my initial readers. They were kind enough to link to a number of my posts regularly - and readership grew - pretty soon, I had my own blogger community, and I was, and am revelling in it.

Now, I hear that Desipundit is shutting down. Its a pity, really. Desipundit did excellent work with regular filter-blogging. I did wonder frequently how the contributors had that much time and enthusiasm to sustain it, but I was glad they did. Their shutting down is quite a disappointment. I wish they would reconsider - maybe think of handing it over to someone else, or letting the people who can continue, do so. But I understand that they have their reasons, and I guess we should respect that.

Actually, right now, the shutting down of DP might not affect me much, because lately, I find myself relying less and less on it, because
a) I have a very long list of blogs on my feedreader, which I read regularly, and that takes up a lot of my blogging time. So discovering new blogs is not a priority.
b) I am fortunate to already have a dedicated set of very smart, intelligent and informed readers - and what else does a blogger need for inspiration?
But the fact remains that both a and b is largely due to Desipundit - and for that, I am very grateful to them. Special thanks to Neha, Patrix and Ash. I wish Desipundit continues - in some form or the other - because it was a great concept - it will leave quite a void in the blogosphere.

Update: So they are not closing down after all! :)