This post, about maids looking after kids, has been simmering in my mind for a very, very long time now. I didn't want to sound judgemental or righteous, nor did I want to comment on a trend that has almost been accepted as a way of life, whatever be the reason. But I feel very strongly about this and as such things go, strong feelings ought to be purged, or else!
I know perfectly well all the reasons that people employ maids. Just because I could easily chuck my hated job to look after my baby, it doesn't mean that I am insensitive to all those mothers who care so much about their career. Just because I have hard-headedly decided to do everything on my own around the house, it doesn't mean that I find it easy and fun. It doesn't mean that I have very often wished that there was someone who would just watch my child as I caught forty winks, or someone who would engage her as I sat back and sipped tea and read the newspaper, and a million such small things. But so far, I have been able to manage, mainly due to S~, who gets back from work and looks after Puttachi for a while, while I put my feet up, and who helps me with the housework even after a long day, so that I can get to do the things I like after Puttachi goes to bed, and hence feel normal after an insane day. I know that not everybody has these luxuries, and I am thankful for them. But that will not stop me from expressing my concerns.
It was in my township that I first noticed a maid looking after two young girls, because both the husband and wife went out to work. The maid in question was terribly young herself, certainly not more than 12. And she was extremely dirty. Unwashed face, snot pouring out of her nose, uncombed hair, dirty hands - the works. And she looked after these two kids, daughters of my father's colleague, by which reasoning the girls were like us. I don't want to go into details, but even to my young mind, that concept put me off, and probably scarred me for life.
That of course, must have been an extreme case. The maids I see now are older, much smarter, very clean and neat. Yet, I fail to understand how a maid can fit into a mother's shoes, even temporarily.
I don't know how it works inside the house - the mother-maid-child relationship, because I can't say that I have seen any such cases up close. My experiences are only those on the outside.
Case 1: When both mother and maid are around: In malls or in the market or in the park, the mother glides through, impeccably dressed, smiling a gracious smile out of a perfectly lipsticked mouth, every hair in place, every crease in her dress perfectly aligned, while behind her comes a huffing and a puffing maid, carrying a child, the child's bag, and shopping bags if any. [I have seen two maids too, sometimes]. Then there are those maids who sit on a different table at a restaurant, feeding the children and themselves, while at the next table sit the child's parents, "enjoying" a "relaxed" meal. If the child cries, it is the maid's problem. But if an acquaintance is sighted, then the child is picked up and shown off to gushes and gurgles, and then agian deposited with the maid to do the dirty work. And then there are those maids at a park, who engage the child in play while the mother just sits there and does nothing. I have seen other moms who go for a walk when the said maid is engaging the said child, and I approve of that. Makes the best use of the situation. Then there are those moms like these in LAK's post.
Case 2: When only the maid is around: The best place to watch this phenomenon unfold is the park. Elsewhere, it could be a one-off situation. But in the park, you know that it is not so. My pet example is this old maid who brings a three-four year old boy everyday. She is undoubtedly sincere. She carries the boy all the way, and brings along a big bag too, full of toys and a waterbottle and a change of clothes. Every day, her routine is the same. She puts the boy on the swing for five minutes, takes him to the slide for five minutes, and so on until a round of all the playthings is done, after which she puts him on the sand and gives him his implements to play. If there is any slip in schedule, for example, if the boy doesn't want to play the merry go round, he gets a rain of curses on his small head, and he is forced to comply. If he dilly-dallies on top of the slide, examining the rods, for example, or looking up at the sky to see an aeroplane, this old lady shouts at him not to waste time and to slide down immediately. Every single day, these two arrive at the park, and not once have I seen a smile on either one's face. Ok, forget the old maid who might have problems of her own. But a three year old boy without a smile? No smile on the slide, no smile on the swing, no interest in anything, always staring off into space with a vacant look. It pains me to look at him, it breaks my heart. I tried to engage him in conversation once, using all the broken Tamil I knew, but he just wouldn't respond. I let Puttachi loose upon him, but he just looked through her. I had to give up. I wonder what extreme necessity it is that makes the boy's parents/caregivers not be there for him.
I also remember two little boys in the park I used to go to previously. Each boy had a maid for himself. The younger of the boys, about a year old, wet his pants and the maid just let it be. Wet and stinking. Another time, she made him pee right there in the kids play area, where other kids play in the sand. She also tried making him walk barefoot on the sand, and the other maid scolded her. "What if he cuts his foot or something! Their mother just goes kwa-kwa-kwa for everything. She is a witch, she is ruthless, she has no heart. If he gets hurt, we will get it properly." Now, the older boy was old enough to understand all that was being said about his mother. I looked at his face - there was no expression. Was all that so common that it didn't affect the boy anymore? What on earth will he think about his mother?
This is just one aspect. I have seen other maids who truly enjoy being with their wards. They laugh, talk and sing, and they obviously have fun with them. And that's great. But yet. Yet I feel that with the mother around, the child would have got a more wholesome experience. But then, that's just my opinion.
Having said all this, I am fully aware that I am not in a position to judge anybody. I do not approve of how maids are being employed to care for their children. Their role is becoming increasingly greater, gradually replacing the mother more and more. And that is what troubles me. While a maid as a help and a temporary companion is understandable, the fact that a child has to spend a majority of its time with someone who is not an immediate member of the family - it troubles me. While it might actually work out beautifully if there is a great maid, my guess is that such people are very rare.
I've got it all out - well, almost, so that should give me a peaceful night.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The Moon's a Balloon
The Moon's a Balloon is the hilarious, honest and tremendously entertaining autobiography of that impressive actor, David Niven.
Ok, since I've used so many adjectives in the first sentence, I don't have to tell you how much I loved the book.
Sometimes, I wonder how it is that so many things can happen to one person. If Niven had written his autobiography at ten years of age, it would have been many times longer than my autobiography if I wrote one now, at 30. My autobiography would finish in one page. But I am digressing.
Niven writes with panache and ease, and has the most wonderful way of describing funny incidents. He also has the knack of laughing at himself, which makes him very endearing.
He writes about his rebellious childhood, how he was expelled from school, how he joined the army, how he left (After a General finished a long lecture and asked, "Any questions?", Niven said, "May I know the time, I have a train to catch.").
After he left the army, he floated here and there for a while, after which he drifted to Hollywood to try his luck. The going was difficult at first, but only until he signed a contract with Samuel Goldwyn. He then did some good work, and he was just tasting success when World War II broke out. He dropped a promising career in Hollywood against the advice of all his friends, and sailed back home to join the British Army. Six months away from the industry, he says, is suicidal for an actor, but Niven came back after six years (the duration of the war), was accepted, and he went on to star in some memorable roles and picked up an Oscar on the way. And oh, the Oscar story is wonderful!
He writes candidly about his personal life, the various women who came in and out of his life, some named, some unnamed. He writes about his love for his first wife, her tragic death, his second wife, all his friends in Hollywood, the army, and elsewhere.
He has apologized right at the beginning for name dropping - and does he do it with panache! I will never look at some of the Hollywood greats in the same way again - having got just that minute insight into their lives, through the eyes of Niven! No, no, he has only good words for most of them - and those few that he doesn't speak so well of, are unnamed.
Some of the passages in the book had me clutching my stomach and rolling about, laughing. The advantage of reading a book by an actor you have seen and liked, is that you kind of imagine him saying it all aloud. And when I imagine that upright bearing, and that stiff upper lip rattling off all that he says, it makes it all the funnier.
I highly recommend this book. Especially if you like David Niven.
Ok, since I've used so many adjectives in the first sentence, I don't have to tell you how much I loved the book.
Sometimes, I wonder how it is that so many things can happen to one person. If Niven had written his autobiography at ten years of age, it would have been many times longer than my autobiography if I wrote one now, at 30. My autobiography would finish in one page. But I am digressing.
Niven writes with panache and ease, and has the most wonderful way of describing funny incidents. He also has the knack of laughing at himself, which makes him very endearing.
He writes about his rebellious childhood, how he was expelled from school, how he joined the army, how he left (After a General finished a long lecture and asked, "Any questions?", Niven said, "May I know the time, I have a train to catch.").
After he left the army, he floated here and there for a while, after which he drifted to Hollywood to try his luck. The going was difficult at first, but only until he signed a contract with Samuel Goldwyn. He then did some good work, and he was just tasting success when World War II broke out. He dropped a promising career in Hollywood against the advice of all his friends, and sailed back home to join the British Army. Six months away from the industry, he says, is suicidal for an actor, but Niven came back after six years (the duration of the war), was accepted, and he went on to star in some memorable roles and picked up an Oscar on the way. And oh, the Oscar story is wonderful!
He writes candidly about his personal life, the various women who came in and out of his life, some named, some unnamed. He writes about his love for his first wife, her tragic death, his second wife, all his friends in Hollywood, the army, and elsewhere.
He has apologized right at the beginning for name dropping - and does he do it with panache! I will never look at some of the Hollywood greats in the same way again - having got just that minute insight into their lives, through the eyes of Niven! No, no, he has only good words for most of them - and those few that he doesn't speak so well of, are unnamed.
Some of the passages in the book had me clutching my stomach and rolling about, laughing. The advantage of reading a book by an actor you have seen and liked, is that you kind of imagine him saying it all aloud. And when I imagine that upright bearing, and that stiff upper lip rattling off all that he says, it makes it all the funnier.
I highly recommend this book. Especially if you like David Niven.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Letters to people in the park.
Dear Man in the Red Tracks,
Can't you see that the poor lady is already in tears to see her child crying so much? This is the time to help her, ask her if the child needs to be taken to a doctor. Definitely not the time to give her a lecture on how not to leave her child unattended on the monkey ladder.
Irritatedly,
Me.
P.S. You can pull in your tummy as much as you want to - your paunch is still obvious.
Dear lady in the handloom kurti,
No, it is not funny. Your three-year-old pushing aside my not-yet-2-year-old to get on the slide first is not funny. No, don't give me that indulgent look of, "These kids!" Tell your child not to push. He is old enough to understand. It is never too early to teach them manners, you know.
Angrily,
Me.
Dear lady with the frown,
Bringing along a maid to the park does not automatically absolve you of your duties as a mom. Can't you see that your child needs you to wave at him as he goes down the slide? Can't you see that your child would like you to help him on to the merry-go-round? Oh, and your maid is too old and weak to lift him, so here I am straining my back, lifting the heavy fellow onto the merry-go-round - don't just sit there and frown. It is basic courtesy to come and do it yourself.
All of us have bad days, but everyday cannot possibly be a bad day. Come on, erase that frown. And please, look into your son's eyes. He craves for your attention.
With concern,
Me.
Dear Uncle,
Relax. Just because my daughter can play the slide on her own, and your grandson who is a couple of months older, cannot, you need not worry. Don't push him. He is not ready yet, can't you see? Kids are different, uncle. Didn't you notice how clear your grandson's speech is, and how unintelligible Puttachi's is? They'll learn. Don't worry.
Me.
I did say the last one aloud, in different words, though. Now if only I could say everything out aloud.... and oh yes, I also wonder if someone is writing a letter to me somewhere on their blog.
Can't you see that the poor lady is already in tears to see her child crying so much? This is the time to help her, ask her if the child needs to be taken to a doctor. Definitely not the time to give her a lecture on how not to leave her child unattended on the monkey ladder.
Irritatedly,
Me.
P.S. You can pull in your tummy as much as you want to - your paunch is still obvious.
Dear lady in the handloom kurti,
No, it is not funny. Your three-year-old pushing aside my not-yet-2-year-old to get on the slide first is not funny. No, don't give me that indulgent look of, "These kids!" Tell your child not to push. He is old enough to understand. It is never too early to teach them manners, you know.
Angrily,
Me.
Dear lady with the frown,
Bringing along a maid to the park does not automatically absolve you of your duties as a mom. Can't you see that your child needs you to wave at him as he goes down the slide? Can't you see that your child would like you to help him on to the merry-go-round? Oh, and your maid is too old and weak to lift him, so here I am straining my back, lifting the heavy fellow onto the merry-go-round - don't just sit there and frown. It is basic courtesy to come and do it yourself.
All of us have bad days, but everyday cannot possibly be a bad day. Come on, erase that frown. And please, look into your son's eyes. He craves for your attention.
With concern,
Me.
Dear Uncle,
Relax. Just because my daughter can play the slide on her own, and your grandson who is a couple of months older, cannot, you need not worry. Don't push him. He is not ready yet, can't you see? Kids are different, uncle. Didn't you notice how clear your grandson's speech is, and how unintelligible Puttachi's is? They'll learn. Don't worry.
Me.
I did say the last one aloud, in different words, though. Now if only I could say everything out aloud.... and oh yes, I also wonder if someone is writing a letter to me somewhere on their blog.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What I have been up to.
I don't have a valid reason for my hibernation. But for a few days, the words refused to flow from my fingers.
Anyway, here I am, back, with a short update about what's been happening here.
****
A long weekend visit to Mysore happened, with trips to Ranganathittu bird sanctuary, and a trip to Karanji lake thrown in. So this time, it was a Birdwatching trip. I am in love with Sarus Cranes. Have you seen them? Tall, graceful, and just so beautiful.
****
Part of my silence for a while was because of some sad news. A friend, who was my hostelmate had an ectopic pregnancy, her tubes ruptured and she was taken to hospital where her heart stopped for a while during the emergency surgery. She is now in a coma - has been in the same state from the past two weeks. Her loud, clear laughter keeps ringing in my ears, and I find it terrible to imagine her lying motionless in the ICU. I hope she pulls through, and soon.
****
20-month-old Puttachi is on a roll. I sometimes have to clap my hand on her mouth to stop her from talking. She has excellent vocabulary, and shocks me each day with a new word or a complicated new sentence. Or paragraph. "Teddy fell off from the bed, onto the floor. Teddy got hurt. Let's take it to the doctor. I will not come to the doctor. You take teddy. Take Teddy in Auto. Juiiiiii." [In Kannada]. Or after she finishes a papad, "Innu happala idya?" [Is there more papad?]. I think she ought to be saying, "Happala! Happala!", not making a polite enquiry!
She now sings more than 10 or 15 rhymes and songs, both in Kannada and English, completely. The only thing is that her speech is still terribly unclear - and only if you know her well can you understand what she is saying.
And oh, when she says something and I don't understand it, she gets very upset. She scrunches up her face and screams a couple of times. Then she stands up and does a frustrated foot-stamping act, as if she is standing on a hot tin roof. She then runs around the room in circles, still with a knotted brow, runs out to the next room, stands leaning against a wall, her back to the wall, her hands behind her, lowers her head to the ground, but looks up at me through her eyelashes, looking like a baby cheetah. I either have to urgently fathom what she has been saying, or divert her attention to something completely different.
I leave you with a puzzle - a popular English rhyme as sung by Puttachi. Guess which one this is :)
Tinta tinta titta taay
Aaba banda baatu aay
Appa baada
Taata dyman dinda ty.
Anyway, here I am, back, with a short update about what's been happening here.
****
A long weekend visit to Mysore happened, with trips to Ranganathittu bird sanctuary, and a trip to Karanji lake thrown in. So this time, it was a Birdwatching trip. I am in love with Sarus Cranes. Have you seen them? Tall, graceful, and just so beautiful.
****
Part of my silence for a while was because of some sad news. A friend, who was my hostelmate had an ectopic pregnancy, her tubes ruptured and she was taken to hospital where her heart stopped for a while during the emergency surgery. She is now in a coma - has been in the same state from the past two weeks. Her loud, clear laughter keeps ringing in my ears, and I find it terrible to imagine her lying motionless in the ICU. I hope she pulls through, and soon.
****
20-month-old Puttachi is on a roll. I sometimes have to clap my hand on her mouth to stop her from talking. She has excellent vocabulary, and shocks me each day with a new word or a complicated new sentence. Or paragraph. "Teddy fell off from the bed, onto the floor. Teddy got hurt. Let's take it to the doctor. I will not come to the doctor. You take teddy. Take Teddy in Auto. Juiiiiii." [In Kannada]. Or after she finishes a papad, "Innu happala idya?" [Is there more papad?]. I think she ought to be saying, "Happala! Happala!", not making a polite enquiry!
She now sings more than 10 or 15 rhymes and songs, both in Kannada and English, completely. The only thing is that her speech is still terribly unclear - and only if you know her well can you understand what she is saying.
And oh, when she says something and I don't understand it, she gets very upset. She scrunches up her face and screams a couple of times. Then she stands up and does a frustrated foot-stamping act, as if she is standing on a hot tin roof. She then runs around the room in circles, still with a knotted brow, runs out to the next room, stands leaning against a wall, her back to the wall, her hands behind her, lowers her head to the ground, but looks up at me through her eyelashes, looking like a baby cheetah. I either have to urgently fathom what she has been saying, or divert her attention to something completely different.
I leave you with a puzzle - a popular English rhyme as sung by Puttachi. Guess which one this is :)
Tinta tinta titta taay
Aaba banda baatu aay
Appa baada
Taata dyman dinda ty.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Puff!
.... And just like that, what little anonymity I had left on this blog, goes up in smoke as soon as you click on this. [Page 7 in today's Sunday Herald (Sunday Supplement of Deccan Herald]].
Thank you all for your wishes on my previous post. And the story is not yet available - it will be published, I think, three weeks from today.
Thank you all for your wishes on my previous post. And the story is not yet available - it will be published, I think, three weeks from today.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Adapting to change
Moving to a new place put forth before me two challenges - one, managing an entire home all by myself, and two, managing Puttachi all by myself.
I learned the management of the house fairly quickly, with ample help from S~, but looking after Puttachi all day long was very difficult in the beginning.
Let me clarify. Ever since I recovered from the shock of giving birth (heh), I have done nearly everything related to Puttachi myself - cooking her food, feeding, changing, bathing, putting her to bed, taking her out to the park, keeping her engaged, entertaining her - almost everything, with support from my mom at first, and then from S~. So workwise, it wasn't too great a challenge.
But what has become a challenge is to keep her entertained all day long, all by myself, without losing patience. She has been used to having people around her all the time, and besides, since I never really had any major work to do around the house previously, having been living with my in-laws, I would always be available for her. She never was really alone, and every time she called me, I would be there.
But now, I have other work. I have cooking and cleaning to do, and the other miscellaneous work that always seems to crop up around the house. Puttachi isn't used to it. She wants me when she calls me, and she will not accept that it is no longer possible. As a result, she goes "Amma-amma-amma-amma" like a stuck record, and says it loud and continuous a million times a day. She dances around my knees when I am in the kitchen, demanding to be picked up, pleading for me to come out and play with her.
I went crazy initially, nearly pulling my hair out in frustration. It was all I could do to finish the cooking and get out and engage her.
That was another thing. Previously, I had never been in the position to have to engage her continuously. My mom-in-law would engage her in play or my father-in-law would take her out for a bit, when I would have a few moments to myself. And when she got back, my patience would be back. But now I have no such relief. Sometimes, by the end of the day, I look at the clock willing the hands to move to the time that S~ gets back. And when he does get back, I literally beg him to take Puttachi away from me for a while, while I rediscover myself.
Generally, evenings are the slowest, and that would just go by in a flash when I took her out to the park. But in the past two weeks, because of both of us being sick, the park visit was ruled out. Those days were the worst. [S~ did stay back when I was feeling particularly sick, but then he had to go to office after that]. I was feeling terrible because of my illness, and to top it, Puttachi would demand all my attention and more, and there was no escape. I would lose my patience time and again, and Puttachi seemed to take pleasure in irritating me.
Those few days, I understood many things. I understood one of the reasons why mothers employ maids in spite of being stay at home moms. It is for just this reason - to have someone to watch your kid while you grab five minutes to breathe. I understood what makes mothers switch on the television and plonk their kids in front of it. Sometimes, it is necessary. I never thought I would, but I resorted to that technique too. When things got too unbearable, I would put on some rhymes or songs on my laptop, put Puttachi in front of it and just lie down or read a newspaper or do something mundane. It is unbelievable how quickly I would be back to normal after that.
Now, with our illnesses clearing up (Just the flu - but severe in my case), things have changed. I am generally more cheerful and patient because I'm feeling better after a long time, and miraculously - touchwood - Puttachi has suddenly learned to play on her own. Her demands on my time have reduced quite a bit. If I tell her, "Puttachi, I want to read the newspaper, play by yourself for a while", she actually does it. Sometimes she is in the enclosed balcony for quite a while with her toys and books when I am in the kitchen, and I go in from time to time to peep in and see that she is not getting herself in any trouble. And it warms the cockles of my heart to see her playing quietly by herself. She is learning too.
But all is not perfect yet. There is still a long way to go. For example, the only way I can get to eat my lunch in peace and then clear up the kitchen after that is to put on a Baby Einstein CD and put her in front of the laptop. I convince myself that it is only about half an hour per day, and it is, after all, educational. And I get to taste my lunch!
Changes.. and more changes.....
I learned the management of the house fairly quickly, with ample help from S~, but looking after Puttachi all day long was very difficult in the beginning.
Let me clarify. Ever since I recovered from the shock of giving birth (heh), I have done nearly everything related to Puttachi myself - cooking her food, feeding, changing, bathing, putting her to bed, taking her out to the park, keeping her engaged, entertaining her - almost everything, with support from my mom at first, and then from S~. So workwise, it wasn't too great a challenge.
But what has become a challenge is to keep her entertained all day long, all by myself, without losing patience. She has been used to having people around her all the time, and besides, since I never really had any major work to do around the house previously, having been living with my in-laws, I would always be available for her. She never was really alone, and every time she called me, I would be there.
But now, I have other work. I have cooking and cleaning to do, and the other miscellaneous work that always seems to crop up around the house. Puttachi isn't used to it. She wants me when she calls me, and she will not accept that it is no longer possible. As a result, she goes "Amma-amma-amma-amma" like a stuck record, and says it loud and continuous a million times a day. She dances around my knees when I am in the kitchen, demanding to be picked up, pleading for me to come out and play with her.
I went crazy initially, nearly pulling my hair out in frustration. It was all I could do to finish the cooking and get out and engage her.
That was another thing. Previously, I had never been in the position to have to engage her continuously. My mom-in-law would engage her in play or my father-in-law would take her out for a bit, when I would have a few moments to myself. And when she got back, my patience would be back. But now I have no such relief. Sometimes, by the end of the day, I look at the clock willing the hands to move to the time that S~ gets back. And when he does get back, I literally beg him to take Puttachi away from me for a while, while I rediscover myself.
Generally, evenings are the slowest, and that would just go by in a flash when I took her out to the park. But in the past two weeks, because of both of us being sick, the park visit was ruled out. Those days were the worst. [S~ did stay back when I was feeling particularly sick, but then he had to go to office after that]. I was feeling terrible because of my illness, and to top it, Puttachi would demand all my attention and more, and there was no escape. I would lose my patience time and again, and Puttachi seemed to take pleasure in irritating me.
Those few days, I understood many things. I understood one of the reasons why mothers employ maids in spite of being stay at home moms. It is for just this reason - to have someone to watch your kid while you grab five minutes to breathe. I understood what makes mothers switch on the television and plonk their kids in front of it. Sometimes, it is necessary. I never thought I would, but I resorted to that technique too. When things got too unbearable, I would put on some rhymes or songs on my laptop, put Puttachi in front of it and just lie down or read a newspaper or do something mundane. It is unbelievable how quickly I would be back to normal after that.
Now, with our illnesses clearing up (Just the flu - but severe in my case), things have changed. I am generally more cheerful and patient because I'm feeling better after a long time, and miraculously - touchwood - Puttachi has suddenly learned to play on her own. Her demands on my time have reduced quite a bit. If I tell her, "Puttachi, I want to read the newspaper, play by yourself for a while", she actually does it. Sometimes she is in the enclosed balcony for quite a while with her toys and books when I am in the kitchen, and I go in from time to time to peep in and see that she is not getting herself in any trouble. And it warms the cockles of my heart to see her playing quietly by herself. She is learning too.
But all is not perfect yet. There is still a long way to go. For example, the only way I can get to eat my lunch in peace and then clear up the kitchen after that is to put on a Baby Einstein CD and put her in front of the laptop. I convince myself that it is only about half an hour per day, and it is, after all, educational. And I get to taste my lunch!
Changes.. and more changes.....
Thursday, January 08, 2009
A brief vacation
I haven't checked, but this is probably the longest that I have gone without posting anything. We had been on a vacation at the end of the year, and after we came back, both Puttachi and I fell sick - and blocked noses and throbbing heads are not really conducive to writing - I slept every moment I could. I wanted to write a travelogue about our trip, but I find that I have lost that urge, now that nearly ten days have passed, so here are the highlights.
We had been to my mom-in-law's native place, a small village in Chikkamagalur district. It is an old house, with a central courtyard, and rooms all around, opening from a raised platform. I have described it previously here. Only, this time, it wasn't as relaxing, as I had a toddler to mind, and we travelled around quite a bit.
We had been to Kundadri hill to see the sunset - and it was quite gorgeous. The sun is such a perfect orange ball. It is difficult to believe the clarity with which you can see the sun there, due to the clean air. Of course, clean air also ensures that the colours of the sunset are not too spectacular, but there is something about seeing the sun set behind ranges and ranges of mountains. And the stars at night! Mindboggling!
We had been to the temples of Shringeri, Horanadu, Saligrama and Anegudde, over two days. We also passed through Kudremukh National Park (famous for the iron ore - but there is no work going on anymore, and the place isn't worth visiting for itself, any longer. Just okay to pass through). We went to Soothanabbi falls, to see which you have to descend some 200 feet (called Hanuman Gundi) in beautiful environs. Getting down was okay, getting back was torture. We also went to Malpe beach near Udupi.
Of course, in all this travel, we passed in and out of the exquisite mountain ranges of Chikkamagalur district. The sights around Agumbe are particularly beautiful. ("Malgudi days" was shot in Agumbe).
What Puttachi did:
She was in her element at the house in the village. She likes cows, and was beside herself with joy to have such easy access to cows in the cowshed adjoining the house. She stroked them, fed them, and giggled with delight when their rough tongues grazed her hand. She would have even slept there in the cowshed with the cows if we had allowed her. We got her to see the milking of the cows, hoping that she would give some importance to milk if she realizes that it came from a cow. But I don't think it really registered. She made friends with the dogs in the house. She went down the steps behind the house, down to where the Tunga flows, fed the fish and wet her pyjamas. She ran all around the spacious houses, up and down, across the courtyard, along with her cousin Ani, with whose family we had been there.
A little way from the village is a place where the banks of Tunga have beautiful pebbles and fine white sand. She rolled around in the sand and ran about with the wind in her hair. When we visited Soothanabbi falls, there was a place near the foot of the falls where the rocks made little pools of water. She sat in one of the pools and played with the pebbles and got herself completely wet.
The beach at Malpe was the high point for her. She couldn't contain her delight to see so much water, so much sand. She stayed in the water until she shivered with cold, and after that, came out, changed and played with the sand as if she would never have enough.
The trip was entirely worth it just to see her joy.
But her daily routine was affected (not that it showed in her activities). First of all, because of all the travelling and the odd meal hours, she hardly ate anything, even surviving on four bananas one day. She also refused to do her big job, perhaps because the toilet in the house is actually situated outside the house, as was common in the olden days. She hated her baths there too, because of the extreme cold. She shivered and shook and cried all through her baths. The only thing she did beautifully was sleep.
Looking forward to many many more holidays :D
We had been to my mom-in-law's native place, a small village in Chikkamagalur district. It is an old house, with a central courtyard, and rooms all around, opening from a raised platform. I have described it previously here. Only, this time, it wasn't as relaxing, as I had a toddler to mind, and we travelled around quite a bit.
We had been to Kundadri hill to see the sunset - and it was quite gorgeous. The sun is such a perfect orange ball. It is difficult to believe the clarity with which you can see the sun there, due to the clean air. Of course, clean air also ensures that the colours of the sunset are not too spectacular, but there is something about seeing the sun set behind ranges and ranges of mountains. And the stars at night! Mindboggling!
We had been to the temples of Shringeri, Horanadu, Saligrama and Anegudde, over two days. We also passed through Kudremukh National Park (famous for the iron ore - but there is no work going on anymore, and the place isn't worth visiting for itself, any longer. Just okay to pass through). We went to Soothanabbi falls, to see which you have to descend some 200 feet (called Hanuman Gundi) in beautiful environs. Getting down was okay, getting back was torture. We also went to Malpe beach near Udupi.
Of course, in all this travel, we passed in and out of the exquisite mountain ranges of Chikkamagalur district. The sights around Agumbe are particularly beautiful. ("Malgudi days" was shot in Agumbe).
What Puttachi did:
She was in her element at the house in the village. She likes cows, and was beside herself with joy to have such easy access to cows in the cowshed adjoining the house. She stroked them, fed them, and giggled with delight when their rough tongues grazed her hand. She would have even slept there in the cowshed with the cows if we had allowed her. We got her to see the milking of the cows, hoping that she would give some importance to milk if she realizes that it came from a cow. But I don't think it really registered. She made friends with the dogs in the house. She went down the steps behind the house, down to where the Tunga flows, fed the fish and wet her pyjamas. She ran all around the spacious houses, up and down, across the courtyard, along with her cousin Ani, with whose family we had been there.
A little way from the village is a place where the banks of Tunga have beautiful pebbles and fine white sand. She rolled around in the sand and ran about with the wind in her hair. When we visited Soothanabbi falls, there was a place near the foot of the falls where the rocks made little pools of water. She sat in one of the pools and played with the pebbles and got herself completely wet.
The beach at Malpe was the high point for her. She couldn't contain her delight to see so much water, so much sand. She stayed in the water until she shivered with cold, and after that, came out, changed and played with the sand as if she would never have enough.
The trip was entirely worth it just to see her joy.
But her daily routine was affected (not that it showed in her activities). First of all, because of all the travelling and the odd meal hours, she hardly ate anything, even surviving on four bananas one day. She also refused to do her big job, perhaps because the toilet in the house is actually situated outside the house, as was common in the olden days. She hated her baths there too, because of the extreme cold. She shivered and shook and cried all through her baths. The only thing she did beautifully was sleep.
Looking forward to many many more holidays :D
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thirty
A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty
- Ogden Nash
Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
Shuddering to the mirror.
Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.
Shining like the morning star,
Like the twilight shining,
Haunted by a calendar,
Miranda is a-pining.
Silly girl, silver girl,
Draw the mirror toward you;
Time who makes the years to whirl
Adorned as he adored you.
Time is timelessness for you;
Calendars for the human;
What's a year, or thirty, to
Loveliness made woman?
Oh, Night will not see thirty again,
Yet soft her wing, Miranda;
Pick up your glass and tell me, then--
How old is Spring, Miranda?
Lovely poem, isn't it? No prizes for guessing why I put that up here, today.
My friend sent it to me around the time she turned thirty, and I saved it carefully, to help lift my spirits (or so I thought) when I turned thirty. But today, I find that I don't need it at all. My spirits are quite high. The Thirty number is actually exciting, not scary. Is wisdom finally making an appearance with age? Have I at last realized that age is just a number? :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A visit to the beauty parlour
Left to myself, I am not much of a beauty parlour person, going only for the necessary haircuts. I indulge in their other services only when:
1) There is a major event in the family, and going to the parlour before that is the done thing.
2) When I have too much time to spare - I don't remember the last time when this was the case.
3) When I have too much money to spare - This was just when I started earning.
A visit to a parlour is hardly something to look forward to. You need guts, nerves of steel, and you have to leave your sense of pain at home.
Facial: The best way that parlours get to fleece you. They offer you a range of facials with fancy names containing the keywords "Shehnaz, Herbal, Fruit, Pearl, Gold, Bridal" and so on - the more exotic the name, the more ludicrous the price.
S~ and I have various arguments on facials, and cosmetics in general. Sample this.
Me: I am going to get a facial done today along with my haircut.
S~: Hmph. Chemicals on your face. It will burn your skin. Sodium monoethyl Krypto laureate, ethanococcal stearate... (rattles off some more alarming-sounding names). Not good, avoid it.
Me: Easy for you to say... blessed with flawless skin...
S~: Eat healthy, drink lots of water, keep your face clean and exercise a bit each day, and then you will see who has the flawless skin.
Me: I hope Puttachi has inherited your skin.
S~: @#$%&
Never ending argument. Well, I get a facial done like, once a year, so my argument is that it will hardly affect me.
Anyway, this is what a facial entails:
1) A variety of sweet-smelling lotions are applied successively on your face, and expert hands massage and knead your face like dough. Sometimes the massage includes the neck and the back - and the whole thing is really soothing.
2) Your face is thrust into a steam-pot, where seemingly superheated steam burns your skin down - I think that what a facial does is just rips off your outer skin, so that the young inner layer shows through. Ouch.
3) Blackheads are removed by poking a needle into your skin repeatedly. This terrifies me. God knows whether they sterilize those needles. I always ask to skip this part.
4) A vibrating massager is run around your face which makes it seem like a roadroller is dancing the tango on your face.
5) A soothing, cool face pack is applied on to your face, your eyes covered with cotton, and you are left to lie down and dream, or think up this blog post. This is the part where you start shivering with cold, and you remember that your aunt visited a certain parlour just because teh beautician thought to cover you with a blanket when she left you lying with a face pack.
6) The pack is wiped off, and ice is rubbed over your face.
7) Some more stuff is applied on to your face, and you are released.
Waxing: The idea must have been picked up from a medieval torture technique. What else do you call pouring burning wax over your skin and ripping off the hair from the roots? The less said about it, the better.
Pedicure: My personal favourite. You get to soak your feet in hot water, and then the beautician cleans your feet, gives them a nice foot rub, and then you get to put your feet in a nice foot massage vibrating thingy, and at the end of it all, your feet actually come out looking soft and beautiful. After every pedicure, for a few days I behave like someone told me "Aapke pair bahut khubsurat hai, inhe zameen pe mat utaariyega." (Your feet are beautiful, don't place them on the ground - a classic dialogue from the movie Pakeezah)
There are other minor thingies like shaping your eyebrows, and other major things like bleaching and hair colouring and such areas where I have never ventured into.
Anyway, after a couple of hours at the parlour, and after coughing up an insane amount of money, I go home, hoping to elicit some compliments from S~. I ring the doorbell.
He opens the door, takes a look at me, and asks, "What happened? Was the parlour closed?"
1) There is a major event in the family, and going to the parlour before that is the done thing.
2) When I have too much time to spare - I don't remember the last time when this was the case.
3) When I have too much money to spare - This was just when I started earning.
A visit to a parlour is hardly something to look forward to. You need guts, nerves of steel, and you have to leave your sense of pain at home.
Facial: The best way that parlours get to fleece you. They offer you a range of facials with fancy names containing the keywords "Shehnaz, Herbal, Fruit, Pearl, Gold, Bridal" and so on - the more exotic the name, the more ludicrous the price.
S~ and I have various arguments on facials, and cosmetics in general. Sample this.
Me: I am going to get a facial done today along with my haircut.
S~: Hmph. Chemicals on your face. It will burn your skin. Sodium monoethyl Krypto laureate, ethanococcal stearate... (rattles off some more alarming-sounding names). Not good, avoid it.
Me: Easy for you to say... blessed with flawless skin...
S~: Eat healthy, drink lots of water, keep your face clean and exercise a bit each day, and then you will see who has the flawless skin.
Me: I hope Puttachi has inherited your skin.
S~: @#$%&
Never ending argument. Well, I get a facial done like, once a year, so my argument is that it will hardly affect me.
Anyway, this is what a facial entails:
1) A variety of sweet-smelling lotions are applied successively on your face, and expert hands massage and knead your face like dough. Sometimes the massage includes the neck and the back - and the whole thing is really soothing.
2) Your face is thrust into a steam-pot, where seemingly superheated steam burns your skin down - I think that what a facial does is just rips off your outer skin, so that the young inner layer shows through. Ouch.
3) Blackheads are removed by poking a needle into your skin repeatedly. This terrifies me. God knows whether they sterilize those needles. I always ask to skip this part.
4) A vibrating massager is run around your face which makes it seem like a roadroller is dancing the tango on your face.
5) A soothing, cool face pack is applied on to your face, your eyes covered with cotton, and you are left to lie down and dream, or think up this blog post. This is the part where you start shivering with cold, and you remember that your aunt visited a certain parlour just because teh beautician thought to cover you with a blanket when she left you lying with a face pack.
6) The pack is wiped off, and ice is rubbed over your face.
7) Some more stuff is applied on to your face, and you are released.
Waxing: The idea must have been picked up from a medieval torture technique. What else do you call pouring burning wax over your skin and ripping off the hair from the roots? The less said about it, the better.
Pedicure: My personal favourite. You get to soak your feet in hot water, and then the beautician cleans your feet, gives them a nice foot rub, and then you get to put your feet in a nice foot massage vibrating thingy, and at the end of it all, your feet actually come out looking soft and beautiful. After every pedicure, for a few days I behave like someone told me "Aapke pair bahut khubsurat hai, inhe zameen pe mat utaariyega." (Your feet are beautiful, don't place them on the ground - a classic dialogue from the movie Pakeezah)
There are other minor thingies like shaping your eyebrows, and other major things like bleaching and hair colouring and such areas where I have never ventured into.
Anyway, after a couple of hours at the parlour, and after coughing up an insane amount of money, I go home, hoping to elicit some compliments from S~. I ring the doorbell.
He opens the door, takes a look at me, and asks, "What happened? Was the parlour closed?"
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bannerghatta National Park
When I was in Mumbai, a colleague of mine once told me that she had lived her entire life in Mumbai, but hadn't been to Juhu beach. I fell off my rotating chair in shock. But that is how it is usually, isn't it? For example, I have been to Bannerghatta National Park on the outskirts of Bangalore only twice in my life, and I don't even remember the last time I have been there, whereas tourists and visitors make a beeline to the place.
Anyway, I amended that this weekend. S~'s cousin has adopted a Russel's viper and a Python at Bannerghatta, and so he has been given a pass. He asked us if we would like to join him, his wife, and his five-year-old son Ani on Sunday to go to Bannerghatta, and we jumped at the offer. Considering how much Puttachi likes animals, it is a shame that we haven't taken her to any animal place after her Mysore zoo visit. So this was an opportunity we couldn't miss.
We reached at about 9 am, and debated a bit about taking the safari ride, wondering if Puttachi would have the patience to sit in an enclosed place for more than an hour. But Ani was insistent, and so we went. The Safari turned out to be just wonderful. We saw Bison, Spotted Deer, Nilgai, Bears (Teddy! Teddy!), Elephants, Lions and Tigers. Yes you heard me right. And a couple of white tigers with an ordinary tiger were playing with each other and jumping about, actually enacting a Discovery Channel scene right outside the barred window of our bus. Magnificent sight, magnificent animals. Puttachi went crazy with excitement.
After the Safari, we went around the zoo. Puttachi saw birds, snakes, rabbits, deer, zebras, monkeys, Indian Giant Squirrels (never seen them before - they are huge!), elephants, turtles, crocodiles, alligators, and coriander-eating hippopotamuses. Oh and have you ever seen a baby hippo? Adorable!
It was lunch-time by the time we finished. The Park by itself doesn't have any eateries inside it, but people usually bring their own food and eat it inside the park. There are a few stalls outside the park which sell snacks, but I don't think you get a filling lunch there. So we ate at the restaurant at the Jungle Lodges and Resorts, attached to Bannerghatta. The food itself was not too good, but we were too hungry to care. The resort, though, is very good. Built at a slight elevation, it is spacious, bright and airy. Very refreshing. Staying there for a night would be an attractive option, I think.
After lunch, we went to the newly built Butterfly Park, the first in India, I hear. The Park enclosure itself is very green, well-maintained, with well-laid paths. The actual conservatory is a domed structure. Entering it is like entering one of these "paradise" scenes in movies. A lush tropical environment, with a stream and a waterfall, with the rich gurgling sound of falling water providing a perfect backdrop. Lots of flowers, and of course, scores of butterflies flitting about all around you. If you stand still, they actually come and alight on you. There are boards with butterfly information amidst the plants, and so you can actually see a butterfly and read about it at once. It is lovely. Puttachi had a fabulous time. Since we had been there in the comparatively hot afternoon, the butterflies were at their most active, I think. Exit the conservatory and you enter a museum of sorts, with loads of information about butterflies, and different kinds of butterflies on display. There is also a room with an audio-visual presentation of about 20 minutes. Quite informative, if you have the time and the inclination, and if you don't have a tiny human tugging at you constantly.
It was a day well-spent. The entire Bannerghatta Park is far more well-maintained than I had imagined. Oh, and I have to mention this. At the entrance of the Park, there is a lady sitting with a number of paper bags. She checks your bags, takes out all the plastic bags and puts the contents into paper bags and hands them back to you. And this includes Lays and Kurkure and Haldiram Packets and the like. She cuts them up with a pair of scissors, empties the chips into the paper bags and gives them to you. I liked that. Inside, we learned that a deer had died a while ago due to plastic consumption, and hence the extreme precautions.
So that was it. I would recommend a visit. But do go early to avoid the rush. Have fun!
Anyway, I amended that this weekend. S~'s cousin has adopted a Russel's viper and a Python at Bannerghatta, and so he has been given a pass. He asked us if we would like to join him, his wife, and his five-year-old son Ani on Sunday to go to Bannerghatta, and we jumped at the offer. Considering how much Puttachi likes animals, it is a shame that we haven't taken her to any animal place after her Mysore zoo visit. So this was an opportunity we couldn't miss.
We reached at about 9 am, and debated a bit about taking the safari ride, wondering if Puttachi would have the patience to sit in an enclosed place for more than an hour. But Ani was insistent, and so we went. The Safari turned out to be just wonderful. We saw Bison, Spotted Deer, Nilgai, Bears (Teddy! Teddy!), Elephants, Lions and Tigers. Yes you heard me right. And a couple of white tigers with an ordinary tiger were playing with each other and jumping about, actually enacting a Discovery Channel scene right outside the barred window of our bus. Magnificent sight, magnificent animals. Puttachi went crazy with excitement.
After the Safari, we went around the zoo. Puttachi saw birds, snakes, rabbits, deer, zebras, monkeys, Indian Giant Squirrels (never seen them before - they are huge!), elephants, turtles, crocodiles, alligators, and coriander-eating hippopotamuses. Oh and have you ever seen a baby hippo? Adorable!
It was lunch-time by the time we finished. The Park by itself doesn't have any eateries inside it, but people usually bring their own food and eat it inside the park. There are a few stalls outside the park which sell snacks, but I don't think you get a filling lunch there. So we ate at the restaurant at the Jungle Lodges and Resorts, attached to Bannerghatta. The food itself was not too good, but we were too hungry to care. The resort, though, is very good. Built at a slight elevation, it is spacious, bright and airy. Very refreshing. Staying there for a night would be an attractive option, I think.
After lunch, we went to the newly built Butterfly Park, the first in India, I hear. The Park enclosure itself is very green, well-maintained, with well-laid paths. The actual conservatory is a domed structure. Entering it is like entering one of these "paradise" scenes in movies. A lush tropical environment, with a stream and a waterfall, with the rich gurgling sound of falling water providing a perfect backdrop. Lots of flowers, and of course, scores of butterflies flitting about all around you. If you stand still, they actually come and alight on you. There are boards with butterfly information amidst the plants, and so you can actually see a butterfly and read about it at once. It is lovely. Puttachi had a fabulous time. Since we had been there in the comparatively hot afternoon, the butterflies were at their most active, I think. Exit the conservatory and you enter a museum of sorts, with loads of information about butterflies, and different kinds of butterflies on display. There is also a room with an audio-visual presentation of about 20 minutes. Quite informative, if you have the time and the inclination, and if you don't have a tiny human tugging at you constantly.
It was a day well-spent. The entire Bannerghatta Park is far more well-maintained than I had imagined. Oh, and I have to mention this. At the entrance of the Park, there is a lady sitting with a number of paper bags. She checks your bags, takes out all the plastic bags and puts the contents into paper bags and hands them back to you. And this includes Lays and Kurkure and Haldiram Packets and the like. She cuts them up with a pair of scissors, empties the chips into the paper bags and gives them to you. I liked that. Inside, we learned that a deer had died a while ago due to plastic consumption, and hence the extreme precautions.
So that was it. I would recommend a visit. But do go early to avoid the rush. Have fun!
Friday, December 12, 2008
The new park, Puttachi and me.
The apartment we have recently moved into is located just opposite a terrific park, a very old one, and a very large one at that. It is full of mighty old trees, broad walking paths, huge grounds, and old vintage buildings. [No, it is neither Lalbagh nor Cubbon Park]
They do have a kids' area, but the play instruments are old and not very well-maintained. They will do, though. I guess I am just comparing it to the play area in the previous park I used to take Puttachi, which was so good that people travelled 5-6 kilometers to bring their kids to that park.
But the charm of this park lies in its trees and its walkways, its people and its birds. In its "ancientness". In its magnificence.
Parktime with Puttachi previously consisted of just taking her to the park, letting her play on the rides, and coaxing a small walk out of her, and then bringing her back. But in this park, it is different. It is as much as a pleasure for me as it is for her.
The moment we get inside the park, she spots the swing and the slides and we do the mandatory exercise of her playing on it. But very soon, she gets waylaid by a stone, a dog, a bird, and she is off, running along the walkways. She finds something interesting at each corner, and there is so much to explore. I just let her be, and follow her around, making sure not to hover about her, but being close enough to ensure that she is safe. It is so lovely to watch her. She picks up stones, leaves, shows them to me with delight. She spots a dog and runs after it. She finds a particularly huge tree and looks up at it wonderingly. She talks to everybody who talks to her, and even calls out to people who walk by without talking to her.
5 30 pm seems like 7 00 pm because of the thick canopy of trees in the park, and it gets cold very soon because of the number of trees. Though it is warm when we set out, I make sure to have put Puttachi in warm clothes, or else I carry along something extra.
When dusk approaches, the chirping of the birds becomes deafening. Birds fly all over the place from one tree to another, and Puttachi looks up excitedly at the sky full of birds. She jumps about with pleasure, follows the flight of the birds across the sky until she almost loses balance.
For me, just taking a walk in this beautiful park gives me a feeling of joy, of peace, of tranquility. Watching Puttachi enjoy herself is a bonus. Running along the walkways like the wind, pointing out things to me, listening to my explanation of this and that, collecting pebbles and putting them into her pocket to go home and show her dad - every little thing that pleases her amplifies itself and pleases me that much more.
When S~ joins us, I let down my guard, depending on S~ to look after Puttachi. I walk about at my own pace, enjoying the park in my way. Anyway you see it, the park is a pleasure.
The best part is that by the time Puttachi gets back, she is hungry enough to wolf down her food, and tired enough to go to bed without a fuss. And as for me? I don't know if it is the oxygen, or it is the green of the trees, or it is just the park itself, but I am thoroughtly rejuvenated.
Before we moved in here, I used to pass by this park and look at these apartments and think how lovely it must be to stay so close to it. I cannot believe that I am actually living a dream.
They do have a kids' area, but the play instruments are old and not very well-maintained. They will do, though. I guess I am just comparing it to the play area in the previous park I used to take Puttachi, which was so good that people travelled 5-6 kilometers to bring their kids to that park.
But the charm of this park lies in its trees and its walkways, its people and its birds. In its "ancientness". In its magnificence.
Parktime with Puttachi previously consisted of just taking her to the park, letting her play on the rides, and coaxing a small walk out of her, and then bringing her back. But in this park, it is different. It is as much as a pleasure for me as it is for her.
The moment we get inside the park, she spots the swing and the slides and we do the mandatory exercise of her playing on it. But very soon, she gets waylaid by a stone, a dog, a bird, and she is off, running along the walkways. She finds something interesting at each corner, and there is so much to explore. I just let her be, and follow her around, making sure not to hover about her, but being close enough to ensure that she is safe. It is so lovely to watch her. She picks up stones, leaves, shows them to me with delight. She spots a dog and runs after it. She finds a particularly huge tree and looks up at it wonderingly. She talks to everybody who talks to her, and even calls out to people who walk by without talking to her.
5 30 pm seems like 7 00 pm because of the thick canopy of trees in the park, and it gets cold very soon because of the number of trees. Though it is warm when we set out, I make sure to have put Puttachi in warm clothes, or else I carry along something extra.
When dusk approaches, the chirping of the birds becomes deafening. Birds fly all over the place from one tree to another, and Puttachi looks up excitedly at the sky full of birds. She jumps about with pleasure, follows the flight of the birds across the sky until she almost loses balance.
For me, just taking a walk in this beautiful park gives me a feeling of joy, of peace, of tranquility. Watching Puttachi enjoy herself is a bonus. Running along the walkways like the wind, pointing out things to me, listening to my explanation of this and that, collecting pebbles and putting them into her pocket to go home and show her dad - every little thing that pleases her amplifies itself and pleases me that much more.
When S~ joins us, I let down my guard, depending on S~ to look after Puttachi. I walk about at my own pace, enjoying the park in my way. Anyway you see it, the park is a pleasure.
The best part is that by the time Puttachi gets back, she is hungry enough to wolf down her food, and tired enough to go to bed without a fuss. And as for me? I don't know if it is the oxygen, or it is the green of the trees, or it is just the park itself, but I am thoroughtly rejuvenated.
Before we moved in here, I used to pass by this park and look at these apartments and think how lovely it must be to stay so close to it. I cannot believe that I am actually living a dream.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Wedding Week
So my little sis Peevee got married last week. In the days preceding the wedding, I would look at her and get sepia-tinted flashbacks of this energetic, impatient, wide-eyed child, and then a diffident, self-conscious teenager, and then I would look at this smart, confident young woman and shake my head and think, "Is this the same person? And she's getting married!!"
****
I had heard a lot about Peevee's husband D from Peevee herself, from my parents who met him when they had been to the US for Peevee's graduation, and from S~ who had met D and Peevee when in the US last month on an official visit. I had interacted with D on mail and phone too. So it just didn't feel like I was meeting him for the first time a day before the wedding. We spent a fair amount of time together after the wedding too, and I got to know my new brother in law a bit. But they are here on a flying visit, and they have already left Bangalore for Mumbai, and so further acquaintance must wait.
****
My aunt Anu had gone back to the UK from India just this August, and so her coming down to India again for the wedding was a big question mark for a while. She thendecided that she wouldn't want to miss it, and made it after all. But her visit was kept a secret from Peevee. Only a very few of us knew about it and we went through great pains to ensure that it doesn't get to Peevee in any way. It was the most elaborate conspiracy ever carried out in the family. And all the tension and the efforts were rewarded. You should have seen the look on Peevee's face when she saw Anu!! We have it captured on camera, and so if you want to see it, just drop me a mail. :D
****
I had shown Puttachi Peevee's snaps much before Peevee landed, and so Puttachi had no problem recognizing her Pupushi (Peevee Mausi). She loved the stuffed giraffe that her Pupushi got for her too, and she was just warming up to Peevee, when Peevee went and got Mehndi done on her hands. After that, in spite of Peevee's desperate efforts, Puttachi refused to go to her. Poor Peevee. Next time, Peevee. I'll ensure that she follows you around like a shadow!
****
It was an Arya Samaj wedding. I had never witnessed one before. It was very interesting, with every mantra and every ritual being explained in detail. The general opinion in the married members of the gathering was that if they had known what those mantras and rituals meant when they were getting married, they wouldn't have got married at all!
****
Puttachi, who is in her element in large gatherings of people, specially if it is an admiring gathering, decided to go on strike on the day of the wedding. Though I intended to wake her up at the last possible moment that morning, she awoke at dawn, disturbed by the flurry of activity. She remained sleepy and cranky for the rest of the day, and spent half the morning sleeping in my mom-in-law's arms. The more the guests spoke to her, the louder she cried (which is unusual in her case), and she came back to her normal self after the majority of the guests had left!
****
That's that. Back to work!
****
I had heard a lot about Peevee's husband D from Peevee herself, from my parents who met him when they had been to the US for Peevee's graduation, and from S~ who had met D and Peevee when in the US last month on an official visit. I had interacted with D on mail and phone too. So it just didn't feel like I was meeting him for the first time a day before the wedding. We spent a fair amount of time together after the wedding too, and I got to know my new brother in law a bit. But they are here on a flying visit, and they have already left Bangalore for Mumbai, and so further acquaintance must wait.
****
My aunt Anu had gone back to the UK from India just this August, and so her coming down to India again for the wedding was a big question mark for a while. She thendecided that she wouldn't want to miss it, and made it after all. But her visit was kept a secret from Peevee. Only a very few of us knew about it and we went through great pains to ensure that it doesn't get to Peevee in any way. It was the most elaborate conspiracy ever carried out in the family. And all the tension and the efforts were rewarded. You should have seen the look on Peevee's face when she saw Anu!! We have it captured on camera, and so if you want to see it, just drop me a mail. :D
****
I had shown Puttachi Peevee's snaps much before Peevee landed, and so Puttachi had no problem recognizing her Pupushi (Peevee Mausi). She loved the stuffed giraffe that her Pupushi got for her too, and she was just warming up to Peevee, when Peevee went and got Mehndi done on her hands. After that, in spite of Peevee's desperate efforts, Puttachi refused to go to her. Poor Peevee. Next time, Peevee. I'll ensure that she follows you around like a shadow!
****
It was an Arya Samaj wedding. I had never witnessed one before. It was very interesting, with every mantra and every ritual being explained in detail. The general opinion in the married members of the gathering was that if they had known what those mantras and rituals meant when they were getting married, they wouldn't have got married at all!
****
Puttachi, who is in her element in large gatherings of people, specially if it is an admiring gathering, decided to go on strike on the day of the wedding. Though I intended to wake her up at the last possible moment that morning, she awoke at dawn, disturbed by the flurry of activity. She remained sleepy and cranky for the rest of the day, and spent half the morning sleeping in my mom-in-law's arms. The more the guests spoke to her, the louder she cried (which is unusual in her case), and she came back to her normal self after the majority of the guests had left!
****
That's that. Back to work!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Be back
Hi! I am still here. I had a post that I wanted to put up last week, but just then I heard about Mumbai, and I couldn't bear to talk about normal, everyday happenings, when such terrible things were going on there. But I couldn't even talk about Mumbai, as I couldn't find the right words. I still can't find them.
On the personal front, there is a whole lot of activity going on. My sis Peevee is getting married this week. So I will see you on the other side of this week. Until then, ta.
On the personal front, there is a whole lot of activity going on. My sis Peevee is getting married this week. So I will see you on the other side of this week. Until then, ta.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Eighteen months.....
... And Puttachi technically leaves babyhood behind.
There is only one major update to give you all for this month. She is a chatterbox. She talks non-stop all the time - except when she is sleeping (Thank heavens for small mercies).
Put on a piece of music, and she has to dance compulsively, and she has to make everybody around dance too. Once she gets into the mood, she sits on the floor, puts taala and sings sa-ri-ga-ma (her version of it) and doesn't allow anybody else to sit in peace either. All of us have to beat the taala out (not on our laps, no, but on our other palm - just like she has seen my mom do to teach her students), and sing with her, as long as the mood grips her. If she finds something interesting in a book, she has to make sure that everybody has seen it at least fifty times.
She doesn't let S~ and I get a word across to each other. She has to be the one to talk, we are the listeners, and nothing more. We have often asked her to please keep quiet and sit in one place, reminding me of that definition of parents - "Parents are those people that teach their child to walk and to talk and then ask them to sit down and shut up." There isn't anything truer.
She speaks in complete sentences. Her first complete sentence was "Puttachi Dothe betha" (Puttachi wants dosa - of course, she said her version of her real name, not Puttachi). And after that, she has been speaking quite easily in full sentences.
She explains things when we don't understand what she is saying, by using actions and other related words. I can't stop saying this - everyday is a surprise.
A couple of days ago, S~ put three blocks in front of her and asked her, "Count them - how many blocks are there?" She pointed to each and said, "One-thoo-thee". Shocked, I took away one block, and asked her to count how many were there now. "One-thoo", she said, confidently. We are still regaining consciousness. And conducting more experiments to ascertain that it was not a fluke.
She loves the alphabets - whenever she finds big letters anywhere, she insists that I read them out to her. I have no idea what she understands, though. S~ got her a lovely singing and speaking alphabet-fridge magnet set, which she loves.
Each time I start a Puttachi update, it runs into pages, so I am really holding myself back now.
Oh and yes, one update of my own - we moved into a beautiful new place - a very good location too. Since I don't know the first thing abut managing an entire home all by myself (along with a hyperactive chatterbox), I am still running around in circles, and am not able to set aside a sizeable chunk of time for working/mailing/blogging. Yet. So if you are wondering why the silence on the blog/mail/phone, now you know.
There is only one major update to give you all for this month. She is a chatterbox. She talks non-stop all the time - except when she is sleeping (Thank heavens for small mercies).
Put on a piece of music, and she has to dance compulsively, and she has to make everybody around dance too. Once she gets into the mood, she sits on the floor, puts taala and sings sa-ri-ga-ma (her version of it) and doesn't allow anybody else to sit in peace either. All of us have to beat the taala out (not on our laps, no, but on our other palm - just like she has seen my mom do to teach her students), and sing with her, as long as the mood grips her. If she finds something interesting in a book, she has to make sure that everybody has seen it at least fifty times.
She doesn't let S~ and I get a word across to each other. She has to be the one to talk, we are the listeners, and nothing more. We have often asked her to please keep quiet and sit in one place, reminding me of that definition of parents - "Parents are those people that teach their child to walk and to talk and then ask them to sit down and shut up." There isn't anything truer.
She speaks in complete sentences. Her first complete sentence was "Puttachi Dothe betha" (Puttachi wants dosa - of course, she said her version of her real name, not Puttachi). And after that, she has been speaking quite easily in full sentences.
She explains things when we don't understand what she is saying, by using actions and other related words. I can't stop saying this - everyday is a surprise.
A couple of days ago, S~ put three blocks in front of her and asked her, "Count them - how many blocks are there?" She pointed to each and said, "One-thoo-thee". Shocked, I took away one block, and asked her to count how many were there now. "One-thoo", she said, confidently. We are still regaining consciousness. And conducting more experiments to ascertain that it was not a fluke.
She loves the alphabets - whenever she finds big letters anywhere, she insists that I read them out to her. I have no idea what she understands, though. S~ got her a lovely singing and speaking alphabet-fridge magnet set, which she loves.
Each time I start a Puttachi update, it runs into pages, so I am really holding myself back now.
Oh and yes, one update of my own - we moved into a beautiful new place - a very good location too. Since I don't know the first thing abut managing an entire home all by myself (along with a hyperactive chatterbox), I am still running around in circles, and am not able to set aside a sizeable chunk of time for working/mailing/blogging. Yet. So if you are wondering why the silence on the blog/mail/phone, now you know.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Reading and books - A tag
How old were you when you learned to read and who taught you?
I have no idea. Perhaps about three years old, or maybe four. Strangely, I remember my first English lesson in UKG - "Here is Raja. Here is Rani. Raja has a ball. Rani has a cat." Either my parents or my teachers must have taught me how to read. But the habit of reading? That's entirely different and was inculcated in me by my parents.
Did you own any books as a child? If so, what's the first one that you remember owning? If not, do you recall any of the first titles that you borrowed from the library?
I owned many books, so I cannot think back and pinpoint the first book I owned. Perhaps it was a cheery red big board book that had the Alphabets, Numbers and a few nursery rhymes. Or it could have been that picture book, with stories in pictures - how I loved it, and how many hours I have spent with my mom going through that book! It was one among the many Russian publication books that I had. There were many such Russian publication books back then - excellent quality at unbelievable prices.
What's the first book that you bought with your own money?
When you say "own" money, I guess it is the book I bought with a gift voucher that I received as a prize at school. It was a Gangaram's gift voucher, and we had been to their store on MG Road to pick up a book. I wanted to buy Famous Five, but those weren't books that my parents encouraged us to BUY. Borrow and read, sure, but they are not worth buying - they felt, and I always resented it. My mother had spotted the complete collection of Mark Twain, and was trying to persuade me to buy that, but I was least interested in it. Finally we reached an agreement - my parents would buy me the Famous Fives if I agreed to buy Mark Twain with the gift voucher. I didn't touch the Mark Twain for more than two years after that, after which my curiosity got the better of me, and I tried it out, and devoured everything at once. I love it. Even now, all these years later, I have no idea where those two Famous Fives have gone, but the Mark Twain is a treasured book! [Hmph! Parents are almost always right, aren't they?]
If I consider the first book I bought with my own salary, then it must be a book I bought at Mumbai, because that is where I started working. But I didn't need to buy books there because I was a member of a circulating library close to where I lived. So did I buy anything at all? I guess I did buy Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code - so that must be it.
Were you a re-reader as a child? If so, which book did you re-read most often?
I was a crazed re-reader. I would have entire books by heart. I don't remember any single book that I re-read most often - I re-read all the books I read. I don't re-read much now. I am painfully aware of the fact that there are too many books to read and too few years to do that in.. (and more books are always being written!) .. so I re-read very rarely. [Doesn't this paragraph read like a tongue-twister?]
What's the first adult book that captured your interest and how old were you when you read it?
What is an adult book, really? I read loads of classics that definitely were not classified as "children's books". But I guess I know what you mean, so I think the first adult book that I read was, coincidentally, the same as Shyam, from whose blog I picked this tag. The Final Diagnosis by Arthur Hailey. I don't know, I must have been around 16 at that time. I was fascinated. It introduced to me an entirely different world. Once the bug of this genre bit me, I was totally taken. I have never stopped since!
Are there children's books that you passed by as a child that you have learned to love as an adult? Which ones?
I guess that should be To Kill a Mockingbird.
I have no idea. Perhaps about three years old, or maybe four. Strangely, I remember my first English lesson in UKG - "Here is Raja. Here is Rani. Raja has a ball. Rani has a cat." Either my parents or my teachers must have taught me how to read. But the habit of reading? That's entirely different and was inculcated in me by my parents.
Did you own any books as a child? If so, what's the first one that you remember owning? If not, do you recall any of the first titles that you borrowed from the library?
I owned many books, so I cannot think back and pinpoint the first book I owned. Perhaps it was a cheery red big board book that had the Alphabets, Numbers and a few nursery rhymes. Or it could have been that picture book, with stories in pictures - how I loved it, and how many hours I have spent with my mom going through that book! It was one among the many Russian publication books that I had. There were many such Russian publication books back then - excellent quality at unbelievable prices.
What's the first book that you bought with your own money?
When you say "own" money, I guess it is the book I bought with a gift voucher that I received as a prize at school. It was a Gangaram's gift voucher, and we had been to their store on MG Road to pick up a book. I wanted to buy Famous Five, but those weren't books that my parents encouraged us to BUY. Borrow and read, sure, but they are not worth buying - they felt, and I always resented it. My mother had spotted the complete collection of Mark Twain, and was trying to persuade me to buy that, but I was least interested in it. Finally we reached an agreement - my parents would buy me the Famous Fives if I agreed to buy Mark Twain with the gift voucher. I didn't touch the Mark Twain for more than two years after that, after which my curiosity got the better of me, and I tried it out, and devoured everything at once. I love it. Even now, all these years later, I have no idea where those two Famous Fives have gone, but the Mark Twain is a treasured book! [Hmph! Parents are almost always right, aren't they?]
If I consider the first book I bought with my own salary, then it must be a book I bought at Mumbai, because that is where I started working. But I didn't need to buy books there because I was a member of a circulating library close to where I lived. So did I buy anything at all? I guess I did buy Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code - so that must be it.
Were you a re-reader as a child? If so, which book did you re-read most often?
I was a crazed re-reader. I would have entire books by heart. I don't remember any single book that I re-read most often - I re-read all the books I read. I don't re-read much now. I am painfully aware of the fact that there are too many books to read and too few years to do that in.. (and more books are always being written!) .. so I re-read very rarely. [Doesn't this paragraph read like a tongue-twister?]
What's the first adult book that captured your interest and how old were you when you read it?
What is an adult book, really? I read loads of classics that definitely were not classified as "children's books". But I guess I know what you mean, so I think the first adult book that I read was, coincidentally, the same as Shyam, from whose blog I picked this tag. The Final Diagnosis by Arthur Hailey. I don't know, I must have been around 16 at that time. I was fascinated. It introduced to me an entirely different world. Once the bug of this genre bit me, I was totally taken. I have never stopped since!
Are there children's books that you passed by as a child that you have learned to love as an adult? Which ones?
I guess that should be To Kill a Mockingbird.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Kids' Food Recipes!
Here are a few recipes suitable for children - healthy and tasty, that work or have worked with Puttachi.
Oatmeal: Takes just two minutes to make - and you have a healthy, wholesome, tasty meal!
What you need:
A handful of Quaker oats
Milk
Sugar/honey/jaggery
How I make it:
1) Put the oats into a microwaveable bowl
2) Pour enough milk on it to just cover the oats.
3) Microwave for 2 minutes.
4) Take out the bowl, add milk to dilute the oatmeal, which would have become very thick. Adding cold milk brings down the temperature, ensuring that you can feed it to your child immediately.
5) Add sugar or honey or jaggery to taste.
Puttachi loves oatmeal. It tastes far better when sweetened with jaggery.
Wheat Dosa:
A handful of whole wheat flour
Milk
Salt
Optional: A tablespoon of rice flour for crispness, chilli powder, jeera, onions, other finely chopped vegetables - whatever, depending on your child's age and taste.
1) Add the flour into a bowl.
2) Add milk and stir so that no lumps are formed. Add enough milk to bring it to a dosa batter consistency.
3) Add salt to taste, and other ingredients of your choice, and mix well.
4) Spread it out like a dosa on a tava. A suggestion - make many tiny 2 inchcircumference diameter dosas instead of one big one. Somehow, it tastes better!
5) Use ghee instead of oil for the dosa. Great flavour!
6) Serve as it is, or with anything - sugar, shrikhand, honey, ketchup, chutney, etc.
Btw, this is a great instant snack for adults too. Very tasty.
A kind of Soup:
1 carrot
1 tomato
1 onion
A handful of peas
7-8 string beans
A piece of beetroot/chow chow/any other vegetable lying around in your refrigerator
1 clove of garlic
1 potato OR two slices of whole wheat bread
3-4 1 inch cubes of paneer
A piece of cheese or a dollop of cheese spread
Milk
Salt to taste.
1) Cook all the vegetables together with salt.
2) Blend it all in a mixer with the paneer, bread (if you are using potato, cook it along with the other veggies) and milk.
3)Add a dollop of cheese spread or a cube of cheese, mix well and serve hot.
Puttachi just gobbles this up - it is an entire meal of its own - easy to make, great taste, healthy and filling.
Khichdi 1:
1:1 rice and split greengram (hesaru bELe). The split greengram has to be dry roasted until light brown before use.
Ghee
Jeerige (cumin seeds)
Vegetables - carrot, beans, peas, chow chow, etc., chopped
1 onion
Cloves of garlic - according to taste.
Ghee
1) Heat ghee in a small cooker, and add the jeera to it.
2) Add chopped garlic and chopped onion, fry in ghee until fragrant.
3) Add all chopped vegetables, and the 1:1 rice-dal mixture, and cook it all together until done.
Khichdi 2 (Huggi).
1:1 rice - split greengram (roasted)
Ghee
A few pepper corns (menasu)
A few cloves (lavanga)
A piece of cinnamon (dalchini)
1) Heat ghee, fry lightly pepper, cloves and cinnamon.
2) Add rice and dal and cook until done.
3) Be sure to remove the pepper, cloves and cinnamon before serving to the child.
Both the above khichdis, if cooked such that it is sticky, can be eaten by the child herself. If it is liquidy, she will need a spoon, or you might have to feed her.
Mini snacks:
Boiled potatoes mixed with cheese
Boiled peas on a plate
Pomegranate seeds
The peas and pomegranates are great for keeping the child occupied for a while :D
I will put up more kids' recipes as I discover them. I would also welcome such recipes from you! :)
All the best!
Oatmeal: Takes just two minutes to make - and you have a healthy, wholesome, tasty meal!
What you need:
A handful of Quaker oats
Milk
Sugar/honey/jaggery
How I make it:
1) Put the oats into a microwaveable bowl
2) Pour enough milk on it to just cover the oats.
3) Microwave for 2 minutes.
4) Take out the bowl, add milk to dilute the oatmeal, which would have become very thick. Adding cold milk brings down the temperature, ensuring that you can feed it to your child immediately.
5) Add sugar or honey or jaggery to taste.
Puttachi loves oatmeal. It tastes far better when sweetened with jaggery.
Wheat Dosa:
A handful of whole wheat flour
Milk
Salt
Optional: A tablespoon of rice flour for crispness, chilli powder, jeera, onions, other finely chopped vegetables - whatever, depending on your child's age and taste.
1) Add the flour into a bowl.
2) Add milk and stir so that no lumps are formed. Add enough milk to bring it to a dosa batter consistency.
3) Add salt to taste, and other ingredients of your choice, and mix well.
4) Spread it out like a dosa on a tava. A suggestion - make many tiny 2 inch
5) Use ghee instead of oil for the dosa. Great flavour!
6) Serve as it is, or with anything - sugar, shrikhand, honey, ketchup, chutney, etc.
Btw, this is a great instant snack for adults too. Very tasty.
A kind of Soup:
1 carrot
1 tomato
1 onion
A handful of peas
7-8 string beans
A piece of beetroot/chow chow/any other vegetable lying around in your refrigerator
1 clove of garlic
1 potato OR two slices of whole wheat bread
3-4 1 inch cubes of paneer
A piece of cheese or a dollop of cheese spread
Milk
Salt to taste.
1) Cook all the vegetables together with salt.
2) Blend it all in a mixer with the paneer, bread (if you are using potato, cook it along with the other veggies) and milk.
3)Add a dollop of cheese spread or a cube of cheese, mix well and serve hot.
Puttachi just gobbles this up - it is an entire meal of its own - easy to make, great taste, healthy and filling.
Khichdi 1:
1:1 rice and split greengram (hesaru bELe). The split greengram has to be dry roasted until light brown before use.
Ghee
Jeerige (cumin seeds)
Vegetables - carrot, beans, peas, chow chow, etc., chopped
1 onion
Cloves of garlic - according to taste.
Ghee
1) Heat ghee in a small cooker, and add the jeera to it.
2) Add chopped garlic and chopped onion, fry in ghee until fragrant.
3) Add all chopped vegetables, and the 1:1 rice-dal mixture, and cook it all together until done.
Khichdi 2 (Huggi).
1:1 rice - split greengram (roasted)
Ghee
A few pepper corns (menasu)
A few cloves (lavanga)
A piece of cinnamon (dalchini)
1) Heat ghee, fry lightly pepper, cloves and cinnamon.
2) Add rice and dal and cook until done.
3) Be sure to remove the pepper, cloves and cinnamon before serving to the child.
Both the above khichdis, if cooked such that it is sticky, can be eaten by the child herself. If it is liquidy, she will need a spoon, or you might have to feed her.
Mini snacks:
Boiled potatoes mixed with cheese
Boiled peas on a plate
Pomegranate seeds
The peas and pomegranates are great for keeping the child occupied for a while :D
I will put up more kids' recipes as I discover them. I would also welcome such recipes from you! :)
All the best!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Wisdom from a still-learning mom to new moms!
I haven't ever heard a mother say that her child eats her food well. Either it is because a mother is never really satisfied with how much her child eats, or it is because she is afraid to say aloud that her child eats well, for fear of a jinx.
I fretted a lot in the initial months, after Puttachi's solid feeds increased and milk feeds decreased. I always felt that she never ate enough, and I even had a post asking you all for help.
But with time came a certain amount of wisdom - that she probably just has had enough. I have never force fed her, but I used to persist. I would try to distract her, or make the food interesting by adding something she likes to it - I would try everything possible to get a couple of more spoons of food into her mouth. I now realize that it is a waste of time, energy and effort. Both Puttachi and I are happier if I just let go after a couple of tries when she has announced that she has had enough.
I also have seen that if she eats nothing at breakfast, she tends to eat a hearty lunch, or if she nibbles at her lunch, she has a huge dinner. Or if she starves today, she gorges tomorrow. So ultimately, she does make up for it. And with great difficulty, I have learnt not to worry and to trust her instincts.
There are some days of course, when she doesn't eat well for three days at a stretch, and just when I start worrying, I see a new tooth sprouting, and then realize why all the fuss - toothbirth pains!
Every child is different, and all we need to do is identify and recognize our child's special characteristics. Puttachi, for example, cannot eat too much at one go. I discovered this very early on with a hint from my doc. So I am forced to split her meals into two or three parts. For example, she eats her rice and dal and vegetables first, and then eats curds after an hour, and then a fruit half an hour after that.
How you feed the child and in what form - this also changes very frequently. I used to make a rice-dal-veg concoction for her initially, which she would eat without a fuss. Later, trying to bring her to mainstream family food, I started giving her a bit of our food, which was fine until it was new and interesting, after which she wouldn't have it any more. Then I discovered that she likes plain dal and plain vegetables and plain rice, but not all together. So I started giving her dal, with salt and ghee and some garnishing, which she would polish off. Immediately after that I put a pile of vegetables on her plate which she would eat all by herself, and I would follow it with little balls of rice, which she would eat with gusto. This worked for a long time - but seems to be undergoing some change now. Fine, I'll just watch her for a while and the think up something else. Psst... parenting fosters creativity, don't you think?
Another thing. There was a time when she would be more interesting in playing, than eating. Distracting her with stories and songs and books did not help. My aunt told me that she had no problem with her son, she would just keep a book open in front of him and he would gobble down the food. I wondered why Puttachi didn't do that. If I put a book in front of her, she would totally ditch the food and start reading the book.
But from the past ten days, this strategy is working. I put a book in her hands, and feed her - and she just eats up the whole thing. How long this will last, I don't know.
And some more tips. If the child asks to eat on her own, let her. Half of the food will fall on the floor, but if you don't mind cleaning up the mess, this is good for both you and her. Whatever you say, some food does go in. She is happy, you are happy. But of course there is a strategy there too. To ensure that some food does go into her, I tell Puttachi in the beginning that the food is veryyyy hot, and so I am huffing and puffing on it to cool it down and am feeding it to her, and that she can eat it herself when the food cools down. It works. She eats up half the food without any fuss, and just after her tummy is a little full, she wants to eat by herself. After that, I let her. She does tend to eat up the food herself. With a spoon, fingers, whatever.
Another strategy - starve them. Space out breakfast and lunch, such that your child has to come to you asking for food! She will eat better and faster too.
Puttachi hates milk. I don't understand that. [My sister and I were milk lovers - we drank milk at least four times a day - my sis, in fact, would ask my mom, "Amma, I am thirsty, give me milk." Our neighbours used to tease my mom, telling her that she needed to rear cows.] Anyway, so I try to make up by giving her other milk products, like curds, paneer and cheese, and put milk into any food that can possibly take milk!
Next post: Some recipes that have worked well for Puttachi.
I fretted a lot in the initial months, after Puttachi's solid feeds increased and milk feeds decreased. I always felt that she never ate enough, and I even had a post asking you all for help.
But with time came a certain amount of wisdom - that she probably just has had enough. I have never force fed her, but I used to persist. I would try to distract her, or make the food interesting by adding something she likes to it - I would try everything possible to get a couple of more spoons of food into her mouth. I now realize that it is a waste of time, energy and effort. Both Puttachi and I are happier if I just let go after a couple of tries when she has announced that she has had enough.
I also have seen that if she eats nothing at breakfast, she tends to eat a hearty lunch, or if she nibbles at her lunch, she has a huge dinner. Or if she starves today, she gorges tomorrow. So ultimately, she does make up for it. And with great difficulty, I have learnt not to worry and to trust her instincts.
There are some days of course, when she doesn't eat well for three days at a stretch, and just when I start worrying, I see a new tooth sprouting, and then realize why all the fuss - toothbirth pains!
Every child is different, and all we need to do is identify and recognize our child's special characteristics. Puttachi, for example, cannot eat too much at one go. I discovered this very early on with a hint from my doc. So I am forced to split her meals into two or three parts. For example, she eats her rice and dal and vegetables first, and then eats curds after an hour, and then a fruit half an hour after that.
How you feed the child and in what form - this also changes very frequently. I used to make a rice-dal-veg concoction for her initially, which she would eat without a fuss. Later, trying to bring her to mainstream family food, I started giving her a bit of our food, which was fine until it was new and interesting, after which she wouldn't have it any more. Then I discovered that she likes plain dal and plain vegetables and plain rice, but not all together. So I started giving her dal, with salt and ghee and some garnishing, which she would polish off. Immediately after that I put a pile of vegetables on her plate which she would eat all by herself, and I would follow it with little balls of rice, which she would eat with gusto. This worked for a long time - but seems to be undergoing some change now. Fine, I'll just watch her for a while and the think up something else. Psst... parenting fosters creativity, don't you think?
Another thing. There was a time when she would be more interesting in playing, than eating. Distracting her with stories and songs and books did not help. My aunt told me that she had no problem with her son, she would just keep a book open in front of him and he would gobble down the food. I wondered why Puttachi didn't do that. If I put a book in front of her, she would totally ditch the food and start reading the book.
But from the past ten days, this strategy is working. I put a book in her hands, and feed her - and she just eats up the whole thing. How long this will last, I don't know.
And some more tips. If the child asks to eat on her own, let her. Half of the food will fall on the floor, but if you don't mind cleaning up the mess, this is good for both you and her. Whatever you say, some food does go in. She is happy, you are happy. But of course there is a strategy there too. To ensure that some food does go into her, I tell Puttachi in the beginning that the food is veryyyy hot, and so I am huffing and puffing on it to cool it down and am feeding it to her, and that she can eat it herself when the food cools down. It works. She eats up half the food without any fuss, and just after her tummy is a little full, she wants to eat by herself. After that, I let her. She does tend to eat up the food herself. With a spoon, fingers, whatever.
Another strategy - starve them. Space out breakfast and lunch, such that your child has to come to you asking for food! She will eat better and faster too.
Puttachi hates milk. I don't understand that. [My sister and I were milk lovers - we drank milk at least four times a day - my sis, in fact, would ask my mom, "Amma, I am thirsty, give me milk." Our neighbours used to tease my mom, telling her that she needed to rear cows.] Anyway, so I try to make up by giving her other milk products, like curds, paneer and cheese, and put milk into any food that can possibly take milk!
Next post: Some recipes that have worked well for Puttachi.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Naane
Naane. I'll do it myself. This is the word that Puttachi uses most often nowadays, and this defines her at this age.
I have been trying to write updates for a long time now. The problem with that is that I write down a bit, and then come back to it two days later, and find that it holds good no longer! Everything in this stage passes so fast - what she does today, she doesn't do tomorrow!
There has been a sudden change in her. Her speech has become clearer, she tries to sing songs, her vocabulary is increasing in leaps and bounds - and she has now no longer just reacts. She acts too. She initiates conversations, expresses her opinions without being asked for them, she plays pretend-games, has become very assertive and demanding, and has started to show the beginnings of the Terrible Twos.
And she wants to do everything - Naane. Eating, drinking, wearing clothes, climbing steps, bathing, washing hands, climbing up and sliding down the slide, playing the merry-go-round, carrying things, applying oil/cream/lotion on herself, opening the pages of a book - you name it, she wants to do it herself.
She now recognizes almost all animals and a few birds, and even says their names out, not always clearly. Her retention, object recognition and association skills are improving remarkably.
She has even got tired of the much-loved play instruments in the park. She tries new things. She is bored of climbing the small slide from the regular rung ladder, so she tries to climb it from the complicated ladder without the handrails at the side, or from the incline itself. She even tried to climb the largest slide, but I stopped her just in time. She now isn't content to just play on the merry-go-round - she wants to push it! She made her friend sit on it, and she set about trying to push it! I just sat back, looking on indulgently, not expecting her to have the strength to push that huge iron thing - but to my shock, she actually did. She also wants to climb monkey ladders, and is bored of the once-loved swing. She still loves playing with sand, though. But what she plays with it has changed. She now wants to throw sand around, and see what will happen if she puts it in the hair of the child playing next to her. Phew!
One thing - she needs more children of her age to play with. More often than not, she treats other children like she does her toys. She pokes their eyes, pulls their hair - so until I find friends for her to play with regularly, I have started telling her not to mishandle her teddy bears and dolls - that they will get hurt. Hopefully it will translate to treating other children gently too.
I have been trying to write updates for a long time now. The problem with that is that I write down a bit, and then come back to it two days later, and find that it holds good no longer! Everything in this stage passes so fast - what she does today, she doesn't do tomorrow!
There has been a sudden change in her. Her speech has become clearer, she tries to sing songs, her vocabulary is increasing in leaps and bounds - and she has now no longer just reacts. She acts too. She initiates conversations, expresses her opinions without being asked for them, she plays pretend-games, has become very assertive and demanding, and has started to show the beginnings of the Terrible Twos.
And she wants to do everything - Naane. Eating, drinking, wearing clothes, climbing steps, bathing, washing hands, climbing up and sliding down the slide, playing the merry-go-round, carrying things, applying oil/cream/lotion on herself, opening the pages of a book - you name it, she wants to do it herself.
She now recognizes almost all animals and a few birds, and even says their names out, not always clearly. Her retention, object recognition and association skills are improving remarkably.
She has even got tired of the much-loved play instruments in the park. She tries new things. She is bored of climbing the small slide from the regular rung ladder, so she tries to climb it from the complicated ladder without the handrails at the side, or from the incline itself. She even tried to climb the largest slide, but I stopped her just in time. She now isn't content to just play on the merry-go-round - she wants to push it! She made her friend sit on it, and she set about trying to push it! I just sat back, looking on indulgently, not expecting her to have the strength to push that huge iron thing - but to my shock, she actually did. She also wants to climb monkey ladders, and is bored of the once-loved swing. She still loves playing with sand, though. But what she plays with it has changed. She now wants to throw sand around, and see what will happen if she puts it in the hair of the child playing next to her. Phew!
One thing - she needs more children of her age to play with. More often than not, she treats other children like she does her toys. She pokes their eyes, pulls their hair - so until I find friends for her to play with regularly, I have started telling her not to mishandle her teddy bears and dolls - that they will get hurt. Hopefully it will translate to treating other children gently too.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Akashvani Sangeet Sammelan Schedule - 2008
Continuing with the tradition, here is this year's schedule of Akashvani Sangeet Sammelan concerts. This time, the schedule was sent to my father, on request, by AIR itself! (They seem to have finally become internet savvy :)
I do not have enough time to format this info - but here is the key:
KM - Karnatic Music
HM - Hindustani Music
The number at the end is the duration in minutes.
Happy listening!
25.10.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. KM Nagaswaram Chinnamanur A Vijaykartikeyan 60
25.10.08 (Sat) 10.30 P.M. KM Mridangam Solo V. Kamalakara Rao 30
26.10.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Guitar Pt. Anup Das Gupta 60
26.10.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. KM Vocal Dwaram V J Lakshmi 60
27.10.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Santoor Pt. Ulhas Bapat 60
28.10.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal Koviladi R Madhwa Prasad 60
29.10.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Mashkoor Ali Khan 60
30.10.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Sitar Syed Ahmed Alvi 60
31.10.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. KM Flute A Chandan Kumar 60
1.11.08 ( Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. Ajoy Chakraborty 90
2.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Sitar Sahitya Kumar Nahar 60
2.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Jayasri Patnekar 60
2.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. KM Violin Duet R Ganesh & R Kumaresh 90
3.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Dhrupad Dhamar Brij Bhushan Goswami 60
4.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Clarionet Gopal Das 60
5.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. KM Veena R Madhuri Devi 60
6.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Raka Mukherjee 60
7.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. HM Sarod Pt. Sunil Mukherjee 60
8.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. KM Vocal Duet Lalita & Haripriya 90
9.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Sitar Kushal Das 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Ganapati Bhatt 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Thumri/Dadra Vid. Savita Devi 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. HM Pakhawaj Solo Prithvi Raj Kumar 30
10.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal G Baby 60
11.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Ajay Pohankar 60
12.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Sarangi Liaqat Ali Khan 60
13.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Mandolin Suresh Kumar 60
14.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Narayan Bodos 60
15.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Sitar Purbayan Chattopadhyay 90
16.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Flute Sunil Kant Gupta 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Vid. Ashwini Bhide Deshpande 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. KM Vocal S Sowmya 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. KM Tavil Solo Tanjore T R Govindarajan 30
17.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Violin Asgar Hussain 60
18.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Manjari Alegaonkar 60
19.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. KM Vichitra Veena Vijay Venkateshwar 60
20.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Shehnai Pramod Prabhashankar Gaikwad 60
21.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal M Raghvendra 60
22.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Sitar Vidushi Manju Mehta 90
23.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pashupatinath Mishra 60
23.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. HM Tabla Solo Ustad Zafar Mohd 30
24.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal Nedumkulam Vasudevan 60
25.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Uma Garg 60
26.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Raja Kale 60
27.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Veena M R Shashikanth 60
28.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M HM Vocal Sarathi Chaterjee 60
29.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Rudra Veena Ustad Asad Ali Khan 90
30.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. Kaivalya Kumar Gurav 90
1.12.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Violin Duet Lalgudi GJR Krishnan & Lalgudi Vijayalakshmi 60
2.12.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Vid. Sumitra Guha 60
4.12.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Saxophone Kadiri Gopalanath 60
5.12.08 (Fri) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. L.K. Pandit 90
I do not have enough time to format this info - but here is the key:
KM - Karnatic Music
HM - Hindustani Music
The number at the end is the duration in minutes.
Happy listening!
25.10.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. KM Nagaswaram Chinnamanur A Vijaykartikeyan 60
25.10.08 (Sat) 10.30 P.M. KM Mridangam Solo V. Kamalakara Rao 30
26.10.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Guitar Pt. Anup Das Gupta 60
26.10.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. KM Vocal Dwaram V J Lakshmi 60
27.10.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Santoor Pt. Ulhas Bapat 60
28.10.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal Koviladi R Madhwa Prasad 60
29.10.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Mashkoor Ali Khan 60
30.10.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Sitar Syed Ahmed Alvi 60
31.10.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. KM Flute A Chandan Kumar 60
1.11.08 ( Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. Ajoy Chakraborty 90
2.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Sitar Sahitya Kumar Nahar 60
2.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Jayasri Patnekar 60
2.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. KM Violin Duet R Ganesh & R Kumaresh 90
3.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Dhrupad Dhamar Brij Bhushan Goswami 60
4.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Clarionet Gopal Das 60
5.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. KM Veena R Madhuri Devi 60
6.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Raka Mukherjee 60
7.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. HM Sarod Pt. Sunil Mukherjee 60
8.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. KM Vocal Duet Lalita & Haripriya 90
9.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Sitar Kushal Das 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Ganapati Bhatt 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Thumri/Dadra Vid. Savita Devi 60
9.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. HM Pakhawaj Solo Prithvi Raj Kumar 30
10.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal G Baby 60
11.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Ajay Pohankar 60
12.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Sarangi Liaqat Ali Khan 60
13.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Mandolin Suresh Kumar 60
14.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Narayan Bodos 60
15.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Sitar Purbayan Chattopadhyay 90
16.11.08 (Sun) 10.00 A.M. HM Flute Sunil Kant Gupta 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 11.00 A.M. HM Vocal Vid. Ashwini Bhide Deshpande 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. KM Vocal S Sowmya 60
16.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. KM Tavil Solo Tanjore T R Govindarajan 30
17.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. HM Violin Asgar Hussain 60
18.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Manjari Alegaonkar 60
19.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. KM Vichitra Veena Vijay Venkateshwar 60
20.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. HM Shehnai Pramod Prabhashankar Gaikwad 60
21.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal M Raghvendra 60
22.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Sitar Vidushi Manju Mehta 90
23.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pashupatinath Mishra 60
23.11.08 (Sun) 10.30 P.M. HM Tabla Solo Ustad Zafar Mohd 30
24.11.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Vocal Nedumkulam Vasudevan 60
25.11.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Uma Garg 60
26.11.08 (Wed) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Raja Kale 60
27.11.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Veena M R Shashikanth 60
28.11.08 (Fri) 10.00 P.M HM Vocal Sarathi Chaterjee 60
29.11.08 (Sat) 9.30 P.M. HM Rudra Veena Ustad Asad Ali Khan 90
30.11.08 (Sun) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. Kaivalya Kumar Gurav 90
1.12.08 (Mon) 10.00 P.M. KM Violin Duet Lalgudi GJR Krishnan & Lalgudi Vijayalakshmi 60
2.12.08 (Tue) 10.00 P.M. HM Vocal Vid. Sumitra Guha 60
4.12.08 (Thurs) 10.00 P.M. KM Saxophone Kadiri Gopalanath 60
5.12.08 (Fri) 9.30 P.M. HM Vocal Pt. L.K. Pandit 90
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