Monday, July 09, 2007

Horsing Around

One Sunday morning, many many years ago, my father drew my attention to that section of the paper which reported news of the Bangalore Derby. He pointed out to me the names of the racing horses and said that I might enjoy them. I went through one column, and he was right, I was immediately hooked.

The names were delightful, a treat to my crazy imagination. No boring Chetaks and Ranjhas for you. The names ranged from pretty(Morning Dew, Soft Sunshine) to macho(Fierce Warrior, Daredevil) to exotic(Bravissimo, Chiquitita) to optimistic (Speed of Light, Assured Victory) to plain nonsensical (Daring Daschund, Adorable Aristotle).

I would pick a random favourite and follow its fortunes every morning, reporting delightedly to my father, "Papa, Crowning Glory won again!" or "Oh no, Ginger Garlic lost this time". My mother must have started suspecting that the father-daughter duo was placing bets on races behind her back.

Anyway, like all fads, this one passed too, until yesterday, when I chanced upon the results of the Kingfisher Bangalore Derby. Along with the results of the races, were the mugshots of all the winning horses.

Now, pardon my ignorance, but all horses look the same to me. It looked like they had taken a picture of one horse and printed it twelve times. On taking a closer look, I saw that they were slightly different shades of brown, much like the browns section of an Asian Paints colours catalogue.

I was thinking of the plight of the reporter and the photographer, if they are as ignorant about horses as I am. The photographer takes a pic, and the reporter laboriously writes down the name of the horse. And what if they mess up and put a different name on the pic of the horse? I can well imagine the irate owner ringing up the office and shouting at them, demanding a correction. What will the resulting apology look like?

"In yesterday's edition, we inadvertently mixed up the names of two horses. The one that is the colour of a roasted coffee bean is Sultry Seductress, and the one that is the colour of a lightly roasted coffee bean is Brave Bheem. The error is regretted. - Elegant Editor... err.. I mean, Editor."

This year's winner is Bourbon King. The name is not at all imaginative, as horses' names go. I was disappointed, but then, I saw that Quintessential Queen, Jumping Jackass, Shimmering Shennanigan and Rusty Rhombus weren't far behind, so I was satisfied. What about Assured Victory? He, I assure you, will gain a victory in the next derby.

10 comments:

Bit Hawk said...

Wow, I think you are just a step away from becoming a real horse expert, the lone step being recognizing the color of the horse of course! :)

Dhanya said...

Hilarious one.. I was trying to control my laughter in office :))

Veena said...

Hi Shruthi,

You area of interest really amazes me to an extent unexplainable.. I just remember seeing all these in movies:-) well, if you could interpret the related terminologies, then nothing like it...
But one thing I keep hearing is 'Kudure baala hididavana gathi ashTe'
Also your post titles are also so unpredictable, good keep it up and i was thiking that it would be another baby post.

-Veena

Raj said...

That was humour writing, at its best. Elegant Editor, eh? Quite an alliterative alligator, you are.

Viky said...

That is not all with the names - did you know the names of horses are unique. If you are entering a new horse into the race, you just cannot name him "New Kid on the Block".

You have to give three names in order of preference, and there is a naming body, which will run a check to see that there is no other horse in the country with that name, past or present.

And you know, you can change names of the horses, but again this is subject to the same procedure, and there are examples of horses having won races after they underwent a change of name!!!!

Go on, pull your jaw up!!! It beats me, too... :D

chitra said...

Just remembering the 'Black Beauty".!!!

drifter-musings said...

Hey Shruthi,

I can almost visualize avid horse-lovers and derby patrons squirm in disgust at your ignorance!!Some people are so passionate about horses that such nuances (or so the rookies believe!)seem like obvious details....What say Vijay Mallaya?

Anonymous said...

hey! i didn't know we shared this fascination! :)
Check this out.

ano

Shruthi said...

Bit Hawk, Ha ha!! :))

Dhanya, ;)... my apologies... hope no one saw you? ;)

Veena, related terminologies? Really.. I am a lay person too.. and I used general words... which words would you like interpreted?

Raj, Ohmigosh!! Coming from you, that is a huge, huge compliment. I am quite puffed up with pride right now :)

Viky, *waving away mosquito that is trying to enter my open mouth* I didn't know all this!! wow!

Chitra, oh yeah.. lovely story as I remember.. read it long long ago..

drifter musings, true true... :) I better duck for cover ;)

Ano, wow! Lovely write up.. and yes, I think horses are magnificent animals too! (just that I cannot make out one from the other ;))

Usha said...

I used to love these imaginative names too and I had developed an interest in the result of the races for another reason - two of the race horse owners were account holders in our bank branch and every win meant a considerable deposit for us!
Later I used to be similarly fascinated with yahoo ids and would visit various chat rooms just for these names!

- -