Three

My little one turned three today. And at the risk of repeating myself, it has been a lovely three years.

And she starts school next week!

Yes, I'm back from the UK. It was a wonderful vacation and I have loads to tell you. Soon, soon.

A lovely day.

When I was a kid, I frequently read sentences in English books on the lines of "What a fine day for a picnic!" or "What are you doing indoors on a beautiful day like this?"

I'd think, "What is a beautiful day?" I'd look out of the window, in then beautiful Bangalore, and think, well, today's a nice day, a good day for a picnic, I'm sure, but so was yesterday, and the day before, and so will tomorrow be, and the day after. So what is all the fuss about?

Ever since I landed in England, two weeks ago, it has been cold and wet. Finally, on the 8th, my cousin V's birthday, the sun came out. We had been on a fabulous walk by the riverside on Henley-on-Thames. The sky was clear, the sun's rays were warm upon our backs, and I said, finally with complete understanding and appreciation of the term - "It was a glorious day!"

Impressions after a week in England

None of the following are path breaking discoveries - they have been well-documented, but the thrill of discovering it for oneself is special.

- It is a very pretty country.

- I LOVE the houses

- The foliage is enchanting, some of it is hauntingly beautiful. Most of the trees are still bare, but they'll start sprouting new life soon, and I'm looking forward to that.

- It is very cold, much more than I am used to.

- It is wet - rains a little almost everyday - makes everything look so beautiful.

- I can't believe how much preparation I need to do just to step out of the house.

- The wonderful traffic sense makes me very sad.

- I'm enjoying the company of my aunt, uncle and cousin, and am stuffing myself with the nicest food.

- Puttachi seems to be having a lovely time too.

Hello from the land of....

...Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes and Wodehouse and James Herriott and Shakespeare and Wordsworth and Wimbledon and Greenwich and Harry Potter and Jane Austen and Charles Dickens and...

Puttachi was relieved (disappointed?) to find that UK was on earth. She thought that it was in the sky, since we were going there in an aeroplane.

Updates from my vacation will follow, short ones, probably, when I have the time :)

The "Miracle"

I am not much of a festival celebrator, but I like to make sweets and eat them. And for festivals like Ugadi, I like to think that it is nice to do/start something important. (Though I believe that for a good job, any day is a great day!)

I've noticed that Puttachi is singing in tune these days, singing the notes in their right places, and felt it was probably time to initiate her into the basics of formal classical music. So this Ugadi, I was thinking vaguely that perhaps I should sit Puttachi down and make her sing Sa-re-ga-ma. To my surprise, Puttachi herself came to me in a while and said, "Amma, I want to listen to the Tamboori." (It is very rare that she asks to do that.)

I don't have a real Tamboori(Tanpura), and there was a power cut, so I couldn't switch on the Electronic Tamboori.

"Oh, no power, Puttachi, I'll switch it on later," I said.

Then Puttachi started this neverending chant "Tambooritambooritambooritambooritamboori.." and there was no space for any other thought in my head save for Tamboori. I started tearing my hair out, my explanations fell on deaf ears, and I finally thought, okay, let me show her.

I marched off to the room, took the Electronic Tamboori out and plugged it in.

"Look for yourself. Look, it cannot play without power," I said and switched it on, and at JUST that moment, the power came back, and the Tamboori started playing!

I'm sure the my face portrayed the greatest shock, but the look on Puttachi's face was that of pure delight.

We immediately sat down and sang a few notes, and the Tamboori was on for hours later, to Puttachi's immense satisfaction.

I could easily talk about destiny and claim that the whole world was conniving to satisfy Puttachi's urge. But it was just a happy coincidence!

This is how "legends" can be born, and this is how commonplace coincidences can get blown out of proportion. I think it is good for us to keep this in mind.

English and Kannada Rhymes

Almost two years ago, a friend introduced me to a set of Kannada nursery rhymes from Buzzers. The music was excellent, the songs were mostly sung well and the animation was competent. I bought the other volume, and that didn't disappoint me either. I'd recommend it to everybody. It does have its faults, and some songs are downright unsuitable for young kids, but on the whole, both albums are very enjoyable, and well-made. The music - it's worth saying again - is very good. Puttachi enjoys them, and I can say that these songs have aided in her language development.

So when she grew a little older and started getting familiar with English, I decided to try out the English rhymes album from Buzzers. But what a shock! The animation was stilted and robot-like, the music was flat, and the accents were atrocious.

I was on the lookout for good English nursery rhymes. There were western albums available, but I thought that it would be silly to introduce Puttachi directly to American accents, when she doesn't even know the language yet!

Then unexpectedly, I found just what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the heritage collection of Karadi tales, as I thought it was the right time to introduce Puttachi to it, as she has just started showing an inclination to learn English. I then saw it - Karadi Rhymes, it said, Indian Rhymes for Indian Kids. I saw that they were sung by Usha Uthup, and that was enough for me. It was volume 2, though, and I looked for volume 1 (I am very systematic in such useless matters), but I didn't find it. So I bought Volume 2 - audio CD + 1 book.

Oh it is delightful. Very likeable songs, very Indian in both subject and music. The illustrations are particularly delightful. I don't even have to mention Usha Uthup's glorious, flawless, soaring voice bringing it all to life. I'm not sure who enjoys it more - Puttachi or me, but we have the loveliest times, sitting together with the book while the cd plays.

Of course, I had to go and buy Volume 1 too, after that. That is good too, but I prefer Volume 2. It could be because I discovered that first.

There are animated video CDs available too, of the same songs in Volume 1 and 2. I viewed a few samples on Youtube, and they look quite good, but I think the audio CD + book will be a better choice.

Hope you enjoy them! And please give me some suggestions too!

The Great Blog Silence

Why, do you ask? Blame it on my sis Peevee. She had come down to India on a vacation, and it hardly makes sense to spend what little time I had, at the laptop, blogging or emailing. (That explains my silence on email too, for those of you who are wondering.)

We had a great time. Ever since she's left for the US, she's come back only thrice. The first time, Puttachi was too young and demanded a lot of my attention, and so, I couldn't spend quality time with Peevee. The second time, not only was the vacation short, but she had come to get married! And you know how crazy that time can be. So this time, we made up for lost time.

For Puttachi, Peevee was perhaps like an apparition come out of an album, or from the phone. She declared to Peevee within hours of her arrival,"I like you." Her reaction to Peevee ranged from lukewarm to passionate through the duration of her stay. Was it wholly satisfactory? That is for Peevee to say.

Peevee lived her own childhood fantasy by bringing Puttachi a Gingerbread House. We had fun building and decorating it, and Puttachi grandly stuck the jaw-breakers and gum-drops and felt very proud of it. It wasn't too tasty, though!

We also visited Mysore during this time, and had, as usual, a marvellous time. The best part for me was that during the entire duration of Peevee's visit, Puttachi kind of fended for herself, playing with everybody, no fuss, no crying, just being a happy-chappie. Many times, someone else took on the responsibilities of feeding her and putting her to bed, so I had a much-needed break.

Even when, sometimes, mealtimes and bedtimes went awry due to other activities, Puttachi handled it so well, sometimes living on, apparently, just air, love and laughter.

This time, I could get to know Peevee's husband D better. Thank goodness for that. How terrible is it not to know your sister's husband? S~ and D seemed to be laughing up their sleeves at us sisters, and we were wondering how it is that these two very different men had some striking similarities - unique, unheard-of characteristics that both men seem to possess!

Here's more to good times!

One more story...

.... published in today's Open Sesame!

I'm enjoying this! :D

Think Tank

Okay, my not yet 2.75 year old Puttachi has turned into a think machine. She thinks through everything, she analyzes and dissects events of the future, she discusses eventualities - and strikes me dumb. She's such a thoughtful little thing.

Yesterday, as we were leaving for her school, she noticed a bag in my hand.

Amma, what is the bag for?
I have to buy vegetables, Puttachi.
Great, can I help you pick them out?
Oh but I'm going to drop you at school and then go to the vegetable shop.
Ohh, I thought I was going too. Ok, Amma.
[Thinks for a while. ]
Amma, what will you make for lunch?
Radish huLi.
Oh yay yay! I like radish huLi!
I know you do!
Do you like radish huLi, amma?
I do.
Do you like it very very much?
Not very very much, but I like it.
A little bit?
Yes a little bit.
I like it very very much, Amma.
Good!
Amma, some people don't like radish, do they?
That's right, dear.
Why not?
Different people have different tastes, and they like different things.
But I like radish.
I know, mari.
Amma, are you making radish for me because I like it?
Yes, baby.
She thinks for a while.
Amma?
Yes?
What if there are no radishes in the shop?
[I confess it took me a while to understand this, because I found it so difficult to believe it.]
What, Puttachi?
If you go to the shop, and if there are no radishes there, then what?
Oh but Puttachi, there are radishes at home! I've already cut and cooked them in the morning!
Oh! I thought you were going to buy the radishes at the shop after you dropped me at school, and then cook them!
[I laugh.]
Then what will you buy in the shop, Amma?
Soppu, ginger, garlic, lemons.
Oh okay!

And in case this conversation looked too grown up, you will not believe that the last sentence, for example, was said, "Oh Othay!" She is still a baby.

That is not all. When I went to pick her up, she remembered.

Amma, did you go the shop and buy.. umm... soppu, ginger, garlic and lemons?
Yes, I did.
Oh othay!

She is besotted with traffic lights and exclaims with horror if S~ jumps, as she thinks, a signal.
Ayyooooo!! But it was red!!
Didn't you see the green left arrow blinking, Puttachi? We were allowed to go left.
Oh othay!

She wonders why there are no traffic lights in sidelanes, and listens seriously to all explanations, and retains them too, and uses it back on us next time.

When we give her a piece of news, she wants to know everything, perhaps imagines the whole thing ahead.

Puttachi, we are going to X's house.
Who will be there? Why? Does he have a playroom? Will he share his things with me? What if he doesn't? Will we have lunch there? On what will we sit? Do they have a small chair in their house? Then where will I sit? Will his father be there? Is there a park near their house? Then where shall we go in the evening?

or

Puttachi, Y is coming to our place today.
Who is bringing her? What about her father? How are they coming? Who will drive the car? Is Y big enough to sit on the seat? Will she sit in the car seat? Or will she sit on her mother's lap? Can she walk? Can she talk? Can she play with me? What will you give them? Can Y eat anything? Then what will Y eat? Can Y do susu on her own? Then where will she do it? What if Y is asleep when she comes here?

No way has she got this from me. It must be S~'s genes.

Can't get it out of my mind.

This.

The end of an era.

Pt. Dinkar Kaikini passed away last week. He was one of the greats of Hindustani Music, and was also the father and Guru of my Guru.

He was elegant and dignified, stoic and assured. He had kind eyes, and a tiny smile was always playing on his lips. I was in awe of him in my younger days, but he always made me comfortable with an affectionate word.

His music - where do I start? Before I was introduced to his music, I had a number of albums by the more popular and well-known musicians. I listened to them with great enjoyment and reverence. But after hearing Pt.Kaikini's music, I started classifying those very albums as, to my horror, lounge music. I couldn't even bear to listen to some of those albums again!

But what is it about his music? It is profound and sincere. And very heavy. It's the real thing. It's magical, the way his voice wraps itself around some notes - guaranteed to move me to tears. Listening to some of his recordings is like meditating.

But that is not all there was to him. He was a composer too. Most of the compositions in Hindustani music are small - four-line compositions that form the base for the development of the Raaga. Unlike Carnatic Music, which is rich and brimming with elaborate compositions, Hindustani music doesn't lay much emphasis on the lyrics. But Pt.Kaikini's compositions are magnificent. Like my grandmother once observed, "I thought Hindustani music compositions are all about separation from the beloved, and the occasional prayer to God, but Pt.Dinkar Kaikini's compositions are something else."

Beautiful lyrics, wonderful meaning - about God, nature and philosophy. And not only that - the words themselves are so beautiful that you want to pop them in your mouth, roll them about with your tongue and savour them, if you know what I mean. He was a genius!

He was a music scholar - with immense knowledge about music. He was also well-known for his lecture-demonstrations.

I understand that his music might not have popular appeal. For that, I am all the more thankful that I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to know his music, to have been given the resources to appreciate it and soak in it.

I've hardly met him ten times (he lived in Bombay), but the loss feels very personal.

Papeeha Once Again

There are a few old posts on which I keep getting comments and mails even now, mostly from people who land there via search engines. But no post generates as many mails as the one I wrote ages ago, about Sai Paranjpye's Papeeha.

Almost all the mails are similar - It was telecast on DD, I watched it and loved it, I haven't heard anything about it ever since - Do you have any idea if the CD/DVD is available?

When I wrote that piece, I had a completely different set of readers, and so I thought I'd link to it and see if any of you have something to say!

Eclipse!

Did you watch the eclipse? I did! It was beautiful. I have never seen the sun eclipsed so much (with my own eyes - from behind sun filters!). As Puttachi said, it looked like a "'C' in the sky."












What saddened me no end was that Puttachi and I were the only ones on our terrace, apart from another mother-daughter pair on the terrace of a neighbouring block. Out of the entire neighbourhood, only the four of us were eager enough to catch this fascinating event.

The rest, I am guessing, more out of false beliefs than out of disinterest, stayed inside.

I don't get it. Our ancestors didn't know what was happening. They had reason to believe that something evil was happening. But we are in 2010, for heavens' sake! We've been to the moon, we've been to space, we've photographed things from space - we know what is happening! Just that the moon has come between the earth and the sun! So why the fear? Why the fasting? Why the bathing? I am trying so hard to keep myself calm here, but indulge me a bit while I scream - IT IS RIDICULOUS!!!!

Puttachi and I went out into the eclipsed sun's rays, we ate during the eclipse, and we did not bathe after the eclipse, we did not offer prayers to propitiate anybody. And I am living, and hale and hearty, and writing this post. And this is not just us, everybody in my family has sat and eaten through a countless eclipses over the last 6 or 7 decades. Two of my aunts have gone out during eclipses when they were pregnant, and they have strong, healthy, intelligent sons.

What further proof can I give you? What else can I say? I know that there are some people who are "careful", you know, "Just in case". But think. The sun's rays are coming onto you. The moon blocks the rays for a while, and then moves away. What can possibly be the harm? It makes me want to cry.

Many people are trying to eradicate these silly superstitions, but is it really working? Rationalists do it, yes. But look at this. During the last eclipse, the seer of Murugarajendra Mutt of Chitradurga sat outside with his followers, and watched the eclipse, and even served food to them, and ate it himself, during the eclipse. (can't find the link to the report). During this eclipse, a couple got married at his Mutt!

I am your fan, Seer of Murugarajendra Mutt! We need more people like you! If people don't want to believe rationalists and scientists, at least I hope they will believe you spiritual leaders!

If you know Kannada, you might like to read this.












This post is too late for this eclipse, so I'll probably re-post it before the next eclipse. Please, people! Wake up and see the eclipse for what it really is!

Child-locking!

There was a Dennis the Menace cartoon in which Dennis' father was trying to open a medicine bottle, saying, "How do you open this child-proof bottle?" And Dennis walks in through the door, saying, "Lemme show ya!"

Not too far-fetched, I realized, when my then ten-year-old cousin taught his mother how to use the child-locking facility for TV channels, in their new TV set.

So it didn't really come as a complete surprise, when, after "helping" me load the washing machine, Puttachi reached out and tried to activate the child lock!

Children's story in Open Sesame

I'm mighty kicked right now. Deccan Herald's children's supplement, Open Sesame, has published my story today.

Just a simple story - tried writing for children for the first time.

The Terrible Twos

I would read of tantrums and meltdowns, and I would read about the Terrible Twos, and then I would look at my sweet-tempered child, shrug and leave it at that.

Serves my complacence right.

Overnight, Puttachi has transformed into this kicking, clawing, screaming little thing that I cannot recognize. I am just recovering from a 1 hour 15 minute session - and the issue? Taking off her frock.

Let's take off your frock
I'll do it myself
Ok
No, you take it off for me.
Ok.
No I'll do it.
Ok
I don't want to take off my frock.
Ok don't.
It's dirty. I want to take it off.
Ok take it off.
Take it off for me.
Ok, come here.
No, I won't.
Ok, come to me when you are ready.
I am ready.
Ok come.
No I am not ready.
Ok, whenever you are ready.
Take it off for me.
Ok, come here.
I won't.
Ok don't.
Help me take it off!
Ok, come here, I will help you.
I don't need any help.
Great, take it off yourself.
No I won't.

So basically this was going on in a loop for those 75 minutes. And all this while Puttachi was screaming at the top of her voice, and crying, tears streaming down her face, running up and down, kicking, occasionally clawing at me, hitting.

In the middle of all this, I was trying to distract her by singing silly songs, speaking in strange voices, jumping up and down, behaving like a clown - basically trying to get her to turn her attention to something else. I even tried leaving her alone to calm down, ignoring her, hugging her and speaking soothing things to calm her down, everything.

After about an hour, she was so tired, hungry and sleepy (she'd just got back from playschool) that she didn't even have the strength to cry.

Finally, I put on one of her fave rhymes on my laptop, and turned up the volume. She protested, asked me to switch it off, but gave in, and came to me, sat on my lap, kicked for a bit, then calmed down, and fell asleep on my chest.

Where has my sweet little girl gone? :D

Letting go

Being a good parent is all about letting go.

It can be heart-wrenching. But some part of you becomes stronger when you do it successfully.

Only after I became a mother did I understand my mother's apprehensions when allowing us to do something for the first time. Sending me alone to Mysore by bus for the first time. Seeing my sister off at the airport, when she was flying to the US, alone. Sending us to a friend's house, or on a picnic, or on a date, or to a party. Trusting the values they have given us, and trusting a third person to care for us. Each event is a bit of letting go - letting the child take an independent step ahead, to become the unique person s/he is.

With little kids, the instances are very tiny, but significant all the same. The first time I left a sleeping baby Puttachi at home, and went to the doctor for a post-natal checkup. The first time Puttachi stayed overnight away from me - even though I was leaving her at the hands of her loving grandparents, it was a kind of letting go. To relax and know that someone else is looking after her.

Putting her into the hands of someone totally unconnected, like leaving her at a playschool - that was a totally different ball game. But it had to be done, and it was, successfully.

And today, her school took her for a Nature Walk to Lalbagh. I was initially worried. Will they look after her? What if she runs away like toddlers so love to do? But I had seen first hand how the staff in her school look after the children. I knew I could trust them. So when I left her at the gate, and I saw her small figure walking through the gate with her teachers, tears welled up in my eyes. But I was so proud of my little girl, and so happy for her. Her eyes shining, her round face glowing with excitement, she waved at me as she went inside. And I knew that both of us had just taken a very big step.

And I know that this is just one of many, many of them.

Two and a Half

For all of you who complained that I don't give you enough Puttachi updates:

At 2.5 years, Puttachi is great fun. For one, living with her is like being in a musical. She sings all day long - mostly twisting songs, substituting words to suit the current situation. In effect, she sings parodies all day and laughs at her own jokes. She is constantly clowning around, and jumping around

She has learned this annoying habit of whining when things don't go her way. The only way I can get her to stop it is to pretend that I cannot make out anything she is saying when she is whining. Then, she puts on this artificial smile and asks me "nicely".

Another worrisome habit is that she is sticking to me a lot, protesting hotly when I am not around. I think it is just habit more than real unease.

She loves doing jigsaw puzzles. She did 4-6 pieces with ease, and I thought she was ready to move to bigger puzzles. But they didn't seem to interest her. Just then, S~'s nephew's Disney 24-piece jigsaw puzzle came down to her - and this one has giant pieces. And Puttachi could do it, with a little help at first. She can sit with it all day, making it, breaking it. So I realized that at this age, giant pieces are better.

Puttachi also loves alphabets. More than a year ago, S~ bought refrigerator alphabet magnets - when each alphabet is fitted into a slot on the main piece, it sings out the name of the alphabet, and the sound it makes. Since that was always on the refrigerator, she played with it often. Without our even realizing it, Puttachi started recognizing a few alphabets, and nearly six months ago, made me fall off her chair by recognizing A, B, O and V in the newspaper. She then discovered that my laptop has alphabet keys, and I let her carefully tap the keys and see the results on the monitor. I made her type her name a few times, and voila, she started recognizing all those letters. Now, any printed material she gets, she tries and picks out the letters of her name from it. It is great fun to watch her - and a pleasant surprise too, because it came about by itself.

She loves to play with clay, and she loves books. Oh, and yes, I hadn't been speaking to her much in English before this, but after she started going to the Montessori and picking up English, I have started telling her stories in both English and Kannada, one after the other. I read a sentence in my mind, tell it to her in Kannada, and then read it in English, stopping to explain one word or the other. She is now picking up English so quickly that it surprises me. She supplies the English words for Kannada words without my asking her, and any thing she hears, or any English rhyme that she learns, she comes to me and asks me to explain it to her.

A mandatory visit to the park every evening helps in satisfying her urge to run around, (and my urge to be around people) - and both of us come back happy.

This age, I have realized, is one where they are tremendously curious, and eager to learn. And the more we stimulate them, the happier they are!

At the montessori house

I never thought it would happen - but it did. I drop Puttachi at her Montessori school and she stays there happily, and I pick her up at the end of the day!

Up-side: I get a lot of work done in the morning, I can put my feet up, drink a 10 30 cup of tea...
Down-side: I haven't read a word of any book since Monday!

How the transition happened:

Groundwork: As I had told you before, I had been sitting outside at the school for quite a long time, and I knew for sure that Puttachi was entirely comfortable. I had a talk with the head of the school last Friday, and she agreed with me that it was time to try and leave Puttachi alone at school. She told me that they would try and distract and engage Puttachi if she cried, but warned me that if she became uncontrollable, they would call me back.

After we got back home, last Friday, I casually dropped the idea to Puttachi that I would leave her at school and come home, starting Monday. I used the words "When I leave you at school...." I used it often when speaking to S~ too, in a matter-of-fact tone, until I was certain that Puttachi had understood what was to come. I also told her that I would come back home and make Kesaribhath for her. (She doesn't even like Kesaribhath, she just has a fancy for it.)

Yet, inspite of all this, I had nightmares about Puttachi bawling and me walking away. I wondered if I could go through with it - and I nearly backed out at the last moment.

What happened on Monday: I set out the ingredients of Kesaribhath on the kitchen counter and showed it to Puttachi, telling her htat I would make it after I left her at school, and she accepted it calmly.

While I was locking the door while leaving for school, she said, "Amma, don't leave me!"
I looked at her questioningly, she clarified, "I meant, don't leave me at home and go, but you can leave me at the montessori and come back."

I took it as a good sign. when we got to the school, I opened the gate and started walking in, when she said, "Oh, are you coming inside? I thought you would leave me at the gate." My jaw dropped.

When we went in and I found the teachers, I said, "Ok, Puttachi, bye," as she started going inside. She suddenly stopped and turned. "Wait, Amma!"
"Yes?" I said, thinking, "Uh oh!"
But she said, "I want to hug you!"
She hugged me, kissed me on each cheek, and said, "Ok, bye, thank you, go home, come back later, ok?" And she bounded in without a backward glance.

I could have screamed for joy. We had actually done it without making her cry!

I am hoping that now that she is used to the idea of going to a school, leaving her at the big school will also be easy. If that can also be accomplished without too many tears, nothing like it.

Still to go: Puttachi is not very comfortable with the last activity of the day - sitting in a group and learning songs. Though she loves songs, something about that setup bothers her - she would cry even during the time I was sitting there. And she continues that even now. So I have to go half an hour early, just at the moment that she starts getting jittery.

Let's see how we overcome this little hurdle! :)

Shruthi's law of parenting - 2

Just like in life, nothing is constant in the world of parenting.

Though Puttachi started staying at school by herself from Monday, I resisted telling you about it, wanting to give it some time, making sure that it was indeed working. So I waited until today to put up a post about it.

Two minutes after I clicked on "Publish" on the previous post, I got a call from her school telling me that she was crying uncontrollably, and asking me to pick her up.

It could be because she was sleepy (she woke up very early), but whatever the reason, she did cry.

So there goes my brain again - how will Monday be?