Friday, December 18, 2009

Letting go

Being a good parent is all about letting go.

It can be heart-wrenching. But some part of you becomes stronger when you do it successfully.

Only after I became a mother did I understand my mother's apprehensions when allowing us to do something for the first time. Sending me alone to Mysore by bus for the first time. Seeing my sister off at the airport, when she was flying to the US, alone. Sending us to a friend's house, or on a picnic, or on a date, or to a party. Trusting the values they have given us, and trusting a third person to care for us. Each event is a bit of letting go - letting the child take an independent step ahead, to become the unique person s/he is.

With little kids, the instances are very tiny, but significant all the same. The first time I left a sleeping baby Puttachi at home, and went to the doctor for a post-natal checkup. The first time Puttachi stayed overnight away from me - even though I was leaving her at the hands of her loving grandparents, it was a kind of letting go. To relax and know that someone else is looking after her.

Putting her into the hands of someone totally unconnected, like leaving her at a playschool - that was a totally different ball game. But it had to be done, and it was, successfully.

And today, her school took her for a Nature Walk to Lalbagh. I was initially worried. Will they look after her? What if she runs away like toddlers so love to do? But I had seen first hand how the staff in her school look after the children. I knew I could trust them. So when I left her at the gate, and I saw her small figure walking through the gate with her teachers, tears welled up in my eyes. But I was so proud of my little girl, and so happy for her. Her eyes shining, her round face glowing with excitement, she waved at me as she went inside. And I knew that both of us had just taken a very big step.

And I know that this is just one of many, many of them.

6 comments:

Abhipraya said...

awwww big girl Puttacchi si now :) yes letting go is the hardest thing about being a parent.

rajk said...

Almost every parent will identify with your emotion at seeing off Puttachi...
Also, so true about realizing what a great deal it must have been for our parents to let go of us too...

raghunandan said...

good one

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this lovely post

starry eyed said...

Awww...hugs....it's heart wrenching isn't it?! It was great meeting you and Puttachi!

I can be paranoid n terrified to let go at each step...but it does get easier in some ways! Here's a post I did...re-reading made me laugh at my imaginary fears!
http://starsinmeyes.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/perplexing-paranoia/

Off to explore your much-talked about blog:)))))

MindfulMeanderer said...

Hey! it was nice meeting u n puttachi! i have been following u all along.. actually I think ur blog was the first that I started following. I've even left a few comments here n there!
No wonder puttachi - the name sounded soooo familiar! :)
Love reading abt her!

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