When I was in my early twenties, I had this dread of the thirties. I don't remember why, though.
But the thirties have been good to me.
I'm largely comfortable with who I am. There is no more a great struggle to accept myself, my failings, my looks - now I largely know (or think I know) who I am. But yet, I'm still searching for myself in some way or the other - wondering why I can't get myself to be better at this thing, or why I cannot seem to persuade myself to go out and do that thing. But compared to the twenties, I can say that my boat is far steadier now.
I've found a little niche for myself, and I'm no longer floundering about wondering what is happening around me. I've learnt that there is something I can be good at - at which, with some effort, I can perhaps be better than just good. Yet, I know that I have such a long way to go that any little progress I make seems insignificant.
I can see that I am more understanding, more loving, and definitely far more accepting and non-judgmental than I ever was.
I understand my family, my friends and loved ones better, and am more appreciative of their role in my life.
I've known my spouse long enough to know that behind (what I think are) his idiosyncrasies, there beats a sincere and loving heart. Yet, I don't know him so well that he doesn't spring a surprise on me from time to time.
I love my child, and I know her well. So I know where I stand in terms of nurturing her, and yet, there is so much I don't know, making every day a learning process. Every decision is a fine balance - frightening, yet exciting. Ultimately, very rewarding.
Yes, the thirties is definitely a better place than the twenties.
But the thirties have been good to me.
I'm largely comfortable with who I am. There is no more a great struggle to accept myself, my failings, my looks - now I largely know (or think I know) who I am. But yet, I'm still searching for myself in some way or the other - wondering why I can't get myself to be better at this thing, or why I cannot seem to persuade myself to go out and do that thing. But compared to the twenties, I can say that my boat is far steadier now.
I've found a little niche for myself, and I'm no longer floundering about wondering what is happening around me. I've learnt that there is something I can be good at - at which, with some effort, I can perhaps be better than just good. Yet, I know that I have such a long way to go that any little progress I make seems insignificant.
I can see that I am more understanding, more loving, and definitely far more accepting and non-judgmental than I ever was.
I understand my family, my friends and loved ones better, and am more appreciative of their role in my life.
I've known my spouse long enough to know that behind (what I think are) his idiosyncrasies, there beats a sincere and loving heart. Yet, I don't know him so well that he doesn't spring a surprise on me from time to time.
I love my child, and I know her well. So I know where I stand in terms of nurturing her, and yet, there is so much I don't know, making every day a learning process. Every decision is a fine balance - frightening, yet exciting. Ultimately, very rewarding.
Yes, the thirties is definitely a better place than the twenties.