Like a gadzillion other things I didn't know before I had my Puttachi, I had no idea that being a mother involved lugging around a huge sack of guilt. A totally unnecessary sack, I should add, which, even if you try to avoid, creeps stealthily up behind you and attaches itself to you.
Oh well, I've thrown a few things out of the sack from time to time, and a few things get added to them along the way - let me bring it all out into the open.
Things I've felt guilty about, but not any more:
- Eating before I feed Puttachi - There have been times when we've come back home late for lunch, and both Puttachi and I have been starving. I'd hasten to feed Puttachi first, fighting the rats in my stomach, and lose my patience and sanity on the way. S~ pointed out to me that two minutes of extra starvation won't hurt Puttachi, two minutes being the time I need to chomp on a banana or down a glass of milk - enough to give me energy to feed Puttachi with calm and patience. That was one of the best pieces of advice anybody has given me. I now eat guiltlessly even when Puttachi is hungry, because I know that I can be that much better a mother when not hungry.
- I'd feel guilty about wanting to read or go for a walk, or wish for some time of my own when Puttachi was demanding my attention. I'd attend to her, while every fibre of my being wanted to do otherwise. But now I realize that if I'm happy and content, I can give her the quality time she wants. So I plonk her down with a favourite toy, tell her not to disturb me, and lose myself in a book for some time - even five minutes - just five minutes can do the trick.
Actually, I tell this to all those working moms who feel guilty - think about it, which is better for your child? A happy mom they see only in the evenings, or a grouchy, grumpy, dissatisfied mom that they have to put up with for 24 hours? Do whatever makes the best person out of you - all for the happiness of the child.
- Making Puttachi miss naptimes or mealtimes, or feeding her with less than a balanced meal, because I need to do something else. One day without proteins will not malnourish her. One missed nap will just make her cranky. But it is worth it if I can feed her with something convenient, make her miss a nap and drag her along with me to go out, visit people or places and have fun. This attitude stood us in good stead when we had to do all the travelling around UK.
Guilt I've been working on removing:
- Not being the perfect mom - I have had to step out of the shadow of my perfect mom - who, in spite of soul-deadening problems, was always caring, patient and loving with us - who gave up her other interests for us, who tried to shape us into confident, independent women. I'm trying to tell myself that it is okay not to be like her, and that I can be a good mom in my own way.
- Pushing away the guilt I feel when I scold Puttachi or give her a little whack on her little bottom. Her crumpled-up face immediately tugs at my heartstrings and makes me feel miserable, but I have to force myself to remember that this is for the best - for making her a decent, thoughtful part of society.
- Not feeling guilty when I lose my patience with her. I am human, after all, in spite of the endless spring of patience I've discovered after I've become a mother.
But there are a few things in which I'm still neck-deep in guilt:
- The state of my house. It is just a functional home, with all necessary things. I keep the kitchen clean and hygeinic, but many other surfaces around the house that are reeling under dust cannot say the same thing. Stuff needing to be picked up, cupboards wanting cleaning, shelves needing organization - my house is all that and more. I've always dreamt of a pretty and clean house - but I'm only just able to manage running a sane house.
It is not like I don't have the time. But in that time, I'd rather read or write or spend time with Puttachi. These "non-essential" things come last in my priority list, and they just remain there. Last. Undone. I feel terribly guilty about this, especially because S~ likes a spic and span house, and so comes back home after a long day at work and tries putting it all in order.
- I feel guilty about putting Puttachi first all the time. I know it is natural, and I know that nobody carries any grudge against me for that. But yet, I feel guilty. That she takes priority over everybody else. That her well-being is more important to me than that of anybody else. I feel rather like a traitor to my other loved ones for feeling this way.
Things I've never been guilty about:
- Being a SAHM. I've never felt bad that I've been wasting my BE and MTech degrees, that my brains are rusting. It is probably because I've never been too happy being a working woman, and I enjoy this life. I have a thousand interests, more than I have time for, and my day is always full, without a dull moment. I do things I love and keep my brain in working order. And if anyone asks me, "Are you just a housewife/mom?", I tell him/her that I am much more than that - I am a -
Cook
Dietitian
Nutritionist
Tailor
Teacher
Technician
Chauffeur
Psychologist
Doctor
Nurse
Caretaker
Housekeeper
Event manager
Handyman
Cleaner
Artist
Musician
Hairstylist
Beautician
Counsellor
Librarian
Entertainer
..... and so there. And if any of you is suffering from SAHM guilt, hit yourself on the head with this list.
So, Fight that Mommy Guilt!
[Written for this. ]
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Take my breath away
I've been postponing writing about my vacation in the UK, and was just running out of excuses, when Manish's mom, who is also back from a vacation in England, (and who gave me wonderful tips on travelling with a toddler - you can write to me for them), asked me, "What is the one place that took your breath away?" And I thought, this is the right time to start writing about my experiences.
There were many places that made me catch my breath, but Scotland is the one place that is seared in my memory. It keeps coming back to me, in my dreams, in visions, catching me by surprise when I'm doing the most mundane things.
But it isn't fair on all my other experiences to name just Scotland. So here are a few instances that took my breath away.
1) Spring had just arrived in England. Ever since I landed, I'd been seeing bare trees, and spring was an entirely new experience. The green was greener, there was fuzz on the trees and pretty flowers popped out from behind every green hedge. We were driving to a neighbouring town. I was entranced by the countryside and was looking out of the window. Suddenly, the road rose, reached a summit, and then dipped. At that vantage point, the countryside spread out in front of me. A clean green. Gently rolling hills. Farms on either side of the road. Little lambs gambolling about. Neat fences and hedges. Trees with fresh new leaves. Patches of flowers here and there. A blue, blue sky. The sensation of pleasure was very physical. It literally took my breath away.
2) Shortly after that, my aunt and I were driving, when from nowhere, a tree bursting with blooming magnolias sprung into view. It was so sudden, so magnificent that it made me feel glad to be alive just to see that wonderful sight.
3) With spring came these sudden, striking patches of yellow in the fields, amid the green. The first time I saw this yellow was at a distance. It looked like a giant's picnic mat, or as if someone had spilled a huge bucket of bright yellow paint in the middle of the green fields. It was absolutely lovely. The first time, it made me catch my breath. I never tired of the sight. I later found that they were rapeseed fields.
Rapeseed fields, near Stonehenge
4) While travelling in London, we got down at Westminster underground station, climbed up, and came out onto the road. "Ok, where are we?" I said, turning left and right to get my bearings, and then casually looked upwards. We were standing right below Big Ben. It is one thing looking at photos of something all your life, and another thing seeing it up close, that too when you don't expect it. A lovely feeling. Definitely a breath-taking-away moment.
My first view of Big Ben, London
5) We were driving upwards towards the Scottish Highlands from Glasgow, along the endless banks of Loch Lomond. It is not that beautiful compared to the other lakes we saw, but something about it, or probably the drive past it, moved me to tears. Sobs, actually.
6) Glencoe - I can tell you about it, I can show you pictures, but nothing can convey the feeling of awe you experience when you are there - like the mountains have a life of their own and closing in on you. Prehistoric, almost. This did not exactly make me catch my breath, but it made me forget to breathe.
Glencoe, Scotland
7) Loch Lochy - My favourite Loch amongst all those we saw. Made me catch my breath each time we passed it.
Loch Lochy, Scotland
There were many places that made me catch my breath, but Scotland is the one place that is seared in my memory. It keeps coming back to me, in my dreams, in visions, catching me by surprise when I'm doing the most mundane things.
But it isn't fair on all my other experiences to name just Scotland. So here are a few instances that took my breath away.
1) Spring had just arrived in England. Ever since I landed, I'd been seeing bare trees, and spring was an entirely new experience. The green was greener, there was fuzz on the trees and pretty flowers popped out from behind every green hedge. We were driving to a neighbouring town. I was entranced by the countryside and was looking out of the window. Suddenly, the road rose, reached a summit, and then dipped. At that vantage point, the countryside spread out in front of me. A clean green. Gently rolling hills. Farms on either side of the road. Little lambs gambolling about. Neat fences and hedges. Trees with fresh new leaves. Patches of flowers here and there. A blue, blue sky. The sensation of pleasure was very physical. It literally took my breath away.
2) Shortly after that, my aunt and I were driving, when from nowhere, a tree bursting with blooming magnolias sprung into view. It was so sudden, so magnificent that it made me feel glad to be alive just to see that wonderful sight.
3) With spring came these sudden, striking patches of yellow in the fields, amid the green. The first time I saw this yellow was at a distance. It looked like a giant's picnic mat, or as if someone had spilled a huge bucket of bright yellow paint in the middle of the green fields. It was absolutely lovely. The first time, it made me catch my breath. I never tired of the sight. I later found that they were rapeseed fields.
Rapeseed fields, near Stonehenge4) While travelling in London, we got down at Westminster underground station, climbed up, and came out onto the road. "Ok, where are we?" I said, turning left and right to get my bearings, and then casually looked upwards. We were standing right below Big Ben. It is one thing looking at photos of something all your life, and another thing seeing it up close, that too when you don't expect it. A lovely feeling. Definitely a breath-taking-away moment.
My first view of Big Ben, London5) We were driving upwards towards the Scottish Highlands from Glasgow, along the endless banks of Loch Lomond. It is not that beautiful compared to the other lakes we saw, but something about it, or probably the drive past it, moved me to tears. Sobs, actually.
6) Glencoe - I can tell you about it, I can show you pictures, but nothing can convey the feeling of awe you experience when you are there - like the mountains have a life of their own and closing in on you. Prehistoric, almost. This did not exactly make me catch my breath, but it made me forget to breathe.
Glencoe, Scotland7) Loch Lochy - My favourite Loch amongst all those we saw. Made me catch my breath each time we passed it.
Loch Lochy, Scotland
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Rolling heads
So I told Puttachi the story of how Ganesha got his elephant head with the help of an Amar Chitra Katha. As always, she listened intently.
Me: .... and so... Parvati's young son proved so strong for Shiva's forces, that Shiva, seeking to put an end to him, cut off the boy's head with his trident.
Puttachi: (Face crumpling up...)
Me: Wait, wait, listen to what I have to say.
She: Othay
Me: Parvati was angry, and to appease her, Shiva ordered his forces to go north into the forest, and bring him the head of the first animal they found. They found an elephant, cut off its head, and brought it to Shiva, who attached it to the young boy's body. And then.....?
She: (Her face lights up with extreme delight) And Ganesha got an elephant head! Yay yay!! Othay, so that's how Ganesha got that kind of a head! (Then she loses herself in thought)
Me: (Leaving her alone to digest the information)
She: Amma....
Me: Yes?
She: And whose head did they put on the elephant's body?
Me: Gulp.
Me: .... and so... Parvati's young son proved so strong for Shiva's forces, that Shiva, seeking to put an end to him, cut off the boy's head with his trident.
Puttachi: (Face crumpling up...)
Me: Wait, wait, listen to what I have to say.
She: Othay
Me: Parvati was angry, and to appease her, Shiva ordered his forces to go north into the forest, and bring him the head of the first animal they found. They found an elephant, cut off its head, and brought it to Shiva, who attached it to the young boy's body. And then.....?
She: (Her face lights up with extreme delight) And Ganesha got an elephant head! Yay yay!! Othay, so that's how Ganesha got that kind of a head! (Then she loses herself in thought)
Me: (Leaving her alone to digest the information)
She: Amma....
Me: Yes?
She: And whose head did they put on the elephant's body?
Me: Gulp.
Monday, May 31, 2010
First day at school
Today was Puttachi's first day at school. She was prepared to go in without me, and was very excited to wear her new uniform and shoes, and carry her new bag. She even woke up early in the morning, raring to go to school.
She looked heart-breakingly adorable - big, dark eyes full of excitement, short, unruly hair pinned down on either side by inadequate hairclips, wearing a uniform too loose for her in spite of attempts at alteration, unfamiliar shoes, and a no-nonsense brown bag - and she couldn't keep still as usual.
When we reached school, the watchman and an ayah took her from me, smiled at her, patted her head and cheeks, and led her away lovingly. She did not even look back at me.
I stood on my toes and watched her little figure until I could see her no longer. And then I stood right there and wept shamelessly!
She came out quite composed too, but the moment she spoke, I knew from her slightly heavy voice that she'd been crying. But the first thing she said to me was, "Amma, they gave me green milk! And something yellow to eat. It was sweet. I finished it all!"
Slowly, out it came without any prodding. "I cried just a little bit, Amma. I knew you would come and pick me up, but yet I wanted you, and so I cried. "
A new beginning, new feelings, new emotions. Decisions taken in the belief that it is for the best. A little girl going out into the world.
Silence.
She looked heart-breakingly adorable - big, dark eyes full of excitement, short, unruly hair pinned down on either side by inadequate hairclips, wearing a uniform too loose for her in spite of attempts at alteration, unfamiliar shoes, and a no-nonsense brown bag - and she couldn't keep still as usual.
When we reached school, the watchman and an ayah took her from me, smiled at her, patted her head and cheeks, and led her away lovingly. She did not even look back at me.
I stood on my toes and watched her little figure until I could see her no longer. And then I stood right there and wept shamelessly!
She came out quite composed too, but the moment she spoke, I knew from her slightly heavy voice that she'd been crying. But the first thing she said to me was, "Amma, they gave me green milk! And something yellow to eat. It was sweet. I finished it all!"
Slowly, out it came without any prodding. "I cried just a little bit, Amma. I knew you would come and pick me up, but yet I wanted you, and so I cried. "
A new beginning, new feelings, new emotions. Decisions taken in the belief that it is for the best. A little girl going out into the world.
Silence.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My baby's baby.
I am a Grandmother.
No, really. Puttachi has a baby. A "kaaNisade iro" (that, which you cannot see) baby. This baby eats kaaNisade iro food, drinks kaaNisade iro milk, and bathes with kaaNisade iro water. And this baby, which is called Little Puttachi, goes with Amma Puttachi everywhere.
Last night, after Amma Puttachi had gone to bed, Little Puttachi felt thirsty.
Amma Puttachi: Amma, please turn on the light. Little Puttachi wants water.
Me: Give her water without turning on the light. Puttachi, did you want water?
Amma Puttachi: No Amma, I don't want water, my baby wants water. Please turn on the light so that she can see. What if she thinks I am giving her milk?
Me: I'm sure she can make out the difference in taste.
Amma Puttachi: (Making "glug glug" noises.) She could make out the taste, Amma.
Me: Good. Go to sleep now.
Little Puttachi came with us to England. We had bought a stroller for Puttachi to use there, and so, immediately, Amma Puttachi obtained a kaaNisade iro stroller for Little Puttachi.
When travelling by London Underground, S~ carried the stroller on the escalators while I carried Puttachi. The commuter movement was very fast as can be expected, and we had to be quick on our feet, so as not to obstruct anybody in a hurry. Just as I stepped on an escalator, I would lift Puttachi and place her on it simultaneously. But, I had forgotten that my daughter had her baby to attend to. The moment I bent down to lift her, Amma Puttachi bent down to lift her kaaNisade iro baby and made little endearing noises, and adjusted the baby's clothes, while I teetered on the edge of the escalator trying to grasp my daughter, holding up half a dozen irate commuters behind us! Finally I suggested to Amma Puttachi to carry her baby in her pocket like a kangaroo, and she thankfully complied.
Little Puttachi felt scared when the car went too fast on the motorway, but Amma Puttachi was very brave. Little Puttachi felt sleepy and hungry and cried all the time, but Amma Puttachi was usually cooperative.
Little Puttachi will probably go to school with Amma Puttachi. I'm hoping kaaNisade iro baby will give Puttachi company for the first few days until she gets some kaaNiso (visible) friends.
No, really. Puttachi has a baby. A "kaaNisade iro" (that, which you cannot see) baby. This baby eats kaaNisade iro food, drinks kaaNisade iro milk, and bathes with kaaNisade iro water. And this baby, which is called Little Puttachi, goes with Amma Puttachi everywhere.
Last night, after Amma Puttachi had gone to bed, Little Puttachi felt thirsty.
Amma Puttachi: Amma, please turn on the light. Little Puttachi wants water.
Me: Give her water without turning on the light. Puttachi, did you want water?
Amma Puttachi: No Amma, I don't want water, my baby wants water. Please turn on the light so that she can see. What if she thinks I am giving her milk?
Me: I'm sure she can make out the difference in taste.
Amma Puttachi: (Making "glug glug" noises.) She could make out the taste, Amma.
Me: Good. Go to sleep now.
Little Puttachi came with us to England. We had bought a stroller for Puttachi to use there, and so, immediately, Amma Puttachi obtained a kaaNisade iro stroller for Little Puttachi.
When travelling by London Underground, S~ carried the stroller on the escalators while I carried Puttachi. The commuter movement was very fast as can be expected, and we had to be quick on our feet, so as not to obstruct anybody in a hurry. Just as I stepped on an escalator, I would lift Puttachi and place her on it simultaneously. But, I had forgotten that my daughter had her baby to attend to. The moment I bent down to lift her, Amma Puttachi bent down to lift her kaaNisade iro baby and made little endearing noises, and adjusted the baby's clothes, while I teetered on the edge of the escalator trying to grasp my daughter, holding up half a dozen irate commuters behind us! Finally I suggested to Amma Puttachi to carry her baby in her pocket like a kangaroo, and she thankfully complied.
Little Puttachi felt scared when the car went too fast on the motorway, but Amma Puttachi was very brave. Little Puttachi felt sleepy and hungry and cried all the time, but Amma Puttachi was usually cooperative.
Little Puttachi will probably go to school with Amma Puttachi. I'm hoping kaaNisade iro baby will give Puttachi company for the first few days until she gets some kaaNiso (visible) friends.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Three
My little one turned three today. And at the risk of repeating myself, it has been a lovely three years.
And she starts school next week!
Yes, I'm back from the UK. It was a wonderful vacation and I have loads to tell you. Soon, soon.
And she starts school next week!
Yes, I'm back from the UK. It was a wonderful vacation and I have loads to tell you. Soon, soon.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A lovely day.
When I was a kid, I frequently read sentences in English books on the lines of "What a fine day for a picnic!" or "What are you doing indoors on a beautiful day like this?"
I'd think, "What is a beautiful day?" I'd look out of the window, in then beautiful Bangalore, and think, well, today's a nice day, a good day for a picnic, I'm sure, but so was yesterday, and the day before, and so will tomorrow be, and the day after. So what is all the fuss about?
Ever since I landed in England, two weeks ago, it has been cold and wet. Finally, on the 8th, my cousin V's birthday, the sun came out. We had been on a fabulous walk by the riverside on Henley-on-Thames. The sky was clear, the sun's rays were warm upon our backs, and I said, finally with complete understanding and appreciation of the term - "It was a glorious day!"
Friday, April 02, 2010
Impressions after a week in England
None of the following are path breaking discoveries - they have been well-documented, but the thrill of discovering it for oneself is special.
- It is a very pretty country.
- I LOVE the houses
- The foliage is enchanting, some of it is hauntingly beautiful. Most of the trees are still bare, but they'll start sprouting new life soon, and I'm looking forward to that.
- It is very cold, much more than I am used to.
- It is wet - rains a little almost everyday - makes everything look so beautiful.
- I can't believe how much preparation I need to do just to step out of the house.
- The wonderful traffic sense makes me very sad.
- I'm enjoying the company of my aunt, uncle and cousin, and am stuffing myself with the nicest food.
- Puttachi seems to be having a lovely time too.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Hello from the land of....
...Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes and Wodehouse and James Herriott and Shakespeare and Wordsworth and Wimbledon and Greenwich and Harry Potter and Jane Austen and Charles Dickens and...
Puttachi was relieved (disappointed?) to find that UK was on earth. She thought that it was in the sky, since we were going there in an aeroplane.
Updates from my vacation will follow, short ones, probably, when I have the time :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The "Miracle"
I am not much of a festival celebrator, but I like to make sweets and eat them. And for festivals like Ugadi, I like to think that it is nice to do/start something important. (Though I believe that for a good job, any day is a great day!)
I've noticed that Puttachi is singing in tune these days, singing the notes in their right places, and felt it was probably time to initiate her into the basics of formal classical music. So this Ugadi, I was thinking vaguely that perhaps I should sit Puttachi down and make her sing Sa-re-ga-ma. To my surprise, Puttachi herself came to me in a while and said, "Amma, I want to listen to the Tamboori." (It is very rare that she asks to do that.)
I don't have a real Tamboori(Tanpura), and there was a power cut, so I couldn't switch on the Electronic Tamboori.
"Oh, no power, Puttachi, I'll switch it on later," I said.
Then Puttachi started this neverending chant "Tambooritambooritambooritambooritamboori.." and there was no space for any other thought in my head save for Tamboori. I started tearing my hair out, my explanations fell on deaf ears, and I finally thought, okay, let me show her.
I marched off to the room, took the Electronic Tamboori out and plugged it in.
"Look for yourself. Look, it cannot play without power," I said and switched it on, and at JUST that moment, the power came back, and the Tamboori started playing!
I'm sure the my face portrayed the greatest shock, but the look on Puttachi's face was that of pure delight.
We immediately sat down and sang a few notes, and the Tamboori was on for hours later, to Puttachi's immense satisfaction.
I could easily talk about destiny and claim that the whole world was conniving to satisfy Puttachi's urge. But it was just a happy coincidence!
This is how "legends" can be born, and this is how commonplace coincidences can get blown out of proportion. I think it is good for us to keep this in mind.
I've noticed that Puttachi is singing in tune these days, singing the notes in their right places, and felt it was probably time to initiate her into the basics of formal classical music. So this Ugadi, I was thinking vaguely that perhaps I should sit Puttachi down and make her sing Sa-re-ga-ma. To my surprise, Puttachi herself came to me in a while and said, "Amma, I want to listen to the Tamboori." (It is very rare that she asks to do that.)
I don't have a real Tamboori(Tanpura), and there was a power cut, so I couldn't switch on the Electronic Tamboori.
"Oh, no power, Puttachi, I'll switch it on later," I said.
Then Puttachi started this neverending chant "Tambooritambooritambooritambooritamboori.." and there was no space for any other thought in my head save for Tamboori. I started tearing my hair out, my explanations fell on deaf ears, and I finally thought, okay, let me show her.
I marched off to the room, took the Electronic Tamboori out and plugged it in.
"Look for yourself. Look, it cannot play without power," I said and switched it on, and at JUST that moment, the power came back, and the Tamboori started playing!
I'm sure the my face portrayed the greatest shock, but the look on Puttachi's face was that of pure delight.
We immediately sat down and sang a few notes, and the Tamboori was on for hours later, to Puttachi's immense satisfaction.
I could easily talk about destiny and claim that the whole world was conniving to satisfy Puttachi's urge. But it was just a happy coincidence!
This is how "legends" can be born, and this is how commonplace coincidences can get blown out of proportion. I think it is good for us to keep this in mind.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
English and Kannada Rhymes
Almost two years ago, a friend introduced me to a set of Kannada nursery rhymes from Buzzers. The music was excellent, the songs were mostly sung well and the animation was competent. I bought the other volume, and that didn't disappoint me either. I'd recommend it to everybody. It does have its faults, and some songs are downright unsuitable for young kids, but on the whole, both albums are very enjoyable, and well-made. The music - it's worth saying again - is very good. Puttachi enjoys them, and I can say that these songs have aided in her language development.
So when she grew a little older and started getting familiar with English, I decided to try out the English rhymes album from Buzzers. But what a shock! The animation was stilted and robot-like, the music was flat, and the accents were atrocious.
I was on the lookout for good English nursery rhymes. There were western albums available, but I thought that it would be silly to introduce Puttachi directly to American accents, when she doesn't even know the language yet!
Then unexpectedly, I found just what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the heritage collection of Karadi tales, as I thought it was the right time to introduce Puttachi to it, as she has just started showing an inclination to learn English. I then saw it - Karadi Rhymes, it said, Indian Rhymes for Indian Kids. I saw that they were sung by Usha Uthup, and that was enough for me. It was volume 2, though, and I looked for volume 1 (I am very systematic in such useless matters), but I didn't find it. So I bought Volume 2 - audio CD + 1 book.
Oh it is delightful. Very likeable songs, very Indian in both subject and music. The illustrations are particularly delightful. I don't even have to mention Usha Uthup's glorious, flawless, soaring voice bringing it all to life. I'm not sure who enjoys it more - Puttachi or me, but we have the loveliest times, sitting together with the book while the cd plays.
Of course, I had to go and buy Volume 1 too, after that. That is good too, but I prefer Volume 2. It could be because I discovered that first.
There are animated video CDs available too, of the same songs in Volume 1 and 2. I viewed a few samples on Youtube, and they look quite good, but I think the audio CD + book will be a better choice.
Hope you enjoy them! And please give me some suggestions too!
So when she grew a little older and started getting familiar with English, I decided to try out the English rhymes album from Buzzers. But what a shock! The animation was stilted and robot-like, the music was flat, and the accents were atrocious.
I was on the lookout for good English nursery rhymes. There were western albums available, but I thought that it would be silly to introduce Puttachi directly to American accents, when she doesn't even know the language yet!
Then unexpectedly, I found just what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the heritage collection of Karadi tales, as I thought it was the right time to introduce Puttachi to it, as she has just started showing an inclination to learn English. I then saw it - Karadi Rhymes, it said, Indian Rhymes for Indian Kids. I saw that they were sung by Usha Uthup, and that was enough for me. It was volume 2, though, and I looked for volume 1 (I am very systematic in such useless matters), but I didn't find it. So I bought Volume 2 - audio CD + 1 book.
Oh it is delightful. Very likeable songs, very Indian in both subject and music. The illustrations are particularly delightful. I don't even have to mention Usha Uthup's glorious, flawless, soaring voice bringing it all to life. I'm not sure who enjoys it more - Puttachi or me, but we have the loveliest times, sitting together with the book while the cd plays.
Of course, I had to go and buy Volume 1 too, after that. That is good too, but I prefer Volume 2. It could be because I discovered that first.
There are animated video CDs available too, of the same songs in Volume 1 and 2. I viewed a few samples on Youtube, and they look quite good, but I think the audio CD + book will be a better choice.
Hope you enjoy them! And please give me some suggestions too!
Monday, March 08, 2010
The Great Blog Silence
Why, do you ask? Blame it on my sis Peevee. She had come down to India on a vacation, and it hardly makes sense to spend what little time I had, at the laptop, blogging or emailing. (That explains my silence on email too, for those of you who are wondering.)
We had a great time. Ever since she's left for the US, she's come back only thrice. The first time, Puttachi was too young and demanded a lot of my attention, and so, I couldn't spend quality time with Peevee. The second time, not only was the vacation short, but she had come to get married! And you know how crazy that time can be. So this time, we made up for lost time.
For Puttachi, Peevee was perhaps like an apparition come out of an album, or from the phone. She declared to Peevee within hours of her arrival,"I like you." Her reaction to Peevee ranged from lukewarm to passionate through the duration of her stay. Was it wholly satisfactory? That is for Peevee to say.
Peevee lived her own childhood fantasy by bringing Puttachi a Gingerbread House. We had fun building and decorating it, and Puttachi grandly stuck the jaw-breakers and gum-drops and felt very proud of it. It wasn't too tasty, though!
We also visited Mysore during this time, and had, as usual, a marvellous time. The best part for me was that during the entire duration of Peevee's visit, Puttachi kind of fended for herself, playing with everybody, no fuss, no crying, just being a happy-chappie. Many times, someone else took on the responsibilities of feeding her and putting her to bed, so I had a much-needed break.
Even when, sometimes, mealtimes and bedtimes went awry due to other activities, Puttachi handled it so well, sometimes living on, apparently, just air, love and laughter.
This time, I could get to know Peevee's husband D better. Thank goodness for that. How terrible is it not to know your sister's husband? S~ and D seemed to be laughing up their sleeves at us sisters, and we were wondering how it is that these two very different men had some striking similarities - unique, unheard-of characteristics that both men seem to possess!
Here's more to good times!
We had a great time. Ever since she's left for the US, she's come back only thrice. The first time, Puttachi was too young and demanded a lot of my attention, and so, I couldn't spend quality time with Peevee. The second time, not only was the vacation short, but she had come to get married! And you know how crazy that time can be. So this time, we made up for lost time.
For Puttachi, Peevee was perhaps like an apparition come out of an album, or from the phone. She declared to Peevee within hours of her arrival,"I like you." Her reaction to Peevee ranged from lukewarm to passionate through the duration of her stay. Was it wholly satisfactory? That is for Peevee to say.
Peevee lived her own childhood fantasy by bringing Puttachi a Gingerbread House. We had fun building and decorating it, and Puttachi grandly stuck the jaw-breakers and gum-drops and felt very proud of it. It wasn't too tasty, though!
We also visited Mysore during this time, and had, as usual, a marvellous time. The best part for me was that during the entire duration of Peevee's visit, Puttachi kind of fended for herself, playing with everybody, no fuss, no crying, just being a happy-chappie. Many times, someone else took on the responsibilities of feeding her and putting her to bed, so I had a much-needed break.
Even when, sometimes, mealtimes and bedtimes went awry due to other activities, Puttachi handled it so well, sometimes living on, apparently, just air, love and laughter.
This time, I could get to know Peevee's husband D better. Thank goodness for that. How terrible is it not to know your sister's husband? S~ and D seemed to be laughing up their sleeves at us sisters, and we were wondering how it is that these two very different men had some striking similarities - unique, unheard-of characteristics that both men seem to possess!
Here's more to good times!
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Think Tank
Okay, my not yet 2.75 year old Puttachi has turned into a think machine. She thinks through everything, she analyzes and dissects events of the future, she discusses eventualities - and strikes me dumb. She's such a thoughtful little thing.
Yesterday, as we were leaving for her school, she noticed a bag in my hand.
Amma, what is the bag for?
I have to buy vegetables, Puttachi.
Great, can I help you pick them out?
Oh but I'm going to drop you at school and then go to the vegetable shop.
Ohh, I thought I was going too. Ok, Amma.
[Thinks for a while. ]
Amma, what will you make for lunch?
Radish huLi.
Oh yay yay! I like radish huLi!
I know you do!
Do you like radish huLi, amma?
I do.
Do you like it very very much?
Not very very much, but I like it.
A little bit?
Yes a little bit.
I like it very very much, Amma.
Good!
Amma, some people don't like radish, do they?
That's right, dear.
Why not?
Different people have different tastes, and they like different things.
But I like radish.
I know, mari.
Amma, are you making radish for me because I like it?
Yes, baby.
She thinks for a while.
Amma?
Yes?
What if there are no radishes in the shop?
[I confess it took me a while to understand this, because I found it so difficult to believe it.]
What, Puttachi?
If you go to the shop, and if there are no radishes there, then what?
Oh but Puttachi, there are radishes at home! I've already cut and cooked them in the morning!
Oh! I thought you were going to buy the radishes at the shop after you dropped me at school, and then cook them!
[I laugh.]
Then what will you buy in the shop, Amma?
Soppu, ginger, garlic, lemons.
Oh okay!
And in case this conversation looked too grown up, you will not believe that the last sentence, for example, was said, "Oh Othay!" She is still a baby.
That is not all. When I went to pick her up, she remembered.
Amma, did you go the shop and buy.. umm... soppu, ginger, garlic and lemons?
Yes, I did.
Oh othay!
She is besotted with traffic lights and exclaims with horror if S~ jumps, as she thinks, a signal.
Ayyooooo!! But it was red!!
Didn't you see the green left arrow blinking, Puttachi? We were allowed to go left.
Oh othay!
She wonders why there are no traffic lights in sidelanes, and listens seriously to all explanations, and retains them too, and uses it back on us next time.
When we give her a piece of news, she wants to know everything, perhaps imagines the whole thing ahead.
Puttachi, we are going to X's house.
Who will be there? Why? Does he have a playroom? Will he share his things with me? What if he doesn't? Will we have lunch there? On what will we sit? Do they have a small chair in their house? Then where will I sit? Will his father be there? Is there a park near their house? Then where shall we go in the evening?
or
Puttachi, Y is coming to our place today.
Who is bringing her? What about her father? How are they coming? Who will drive the car? Is Y big enough to sit on the seat? Will she sit in the car seat? Or will she sit on her mother's lap? Can she walk? Can she talk? Can she play with me? What will you give them? Can Y eat anything? Then what will Y eat? Can Y do susu on her own? Then where will she do it? What if Y is asleep when she comes here?
No way has she got this from me. It must be S~'s genes.
Yesterday, as we were leaving for her school, she noticed a bag in my hand.
Amma, what is the bag for?
I have to buy vegetables, Puttachi.
Great, can I help you pick them out?
Oh but I'm going to drop you at school and then go to the vegetable shop.
Ohh, I thought I was going too. Ok, Amma.
[Thinks for a while. ]
Amma, what will you make for lunch?
Radish huLi.
Oh yay yay! I like radish huLi!
I know you do!
Do you like radish huLi, amma?
I do.
Do you like it very very much?
Not very very much, but I like it.
A little bit?
Yes a little bit.
I like it very very much, Amma.
Good!
Amma, some people don't like radish, do they?
That's right, dear.
Why not?
Different people have different tastes, and they like different things.
But I like radish.
I know, mari.
Amma, are you making radish for me because I like it?
Yes, baby.
She thinks for a while.
Amma?
Yes?
What if there are no radishes in the shop?
[I confess it took me a while to understand this, because I found it so difficult to believe it.]
What, Puttachi?
If you go to the shop, and if there are no radishes there, then what?
Oh but Puttachi, there are radishes at home! I've already cut and cooked them in the morning!
Oh! I thought you were going to buy the radishes at the shop after you dropped me at school, and then cook them!
[I laugh.]
Then what will you buy in the shop, Amma?
Soppu, ginger, garlic, lemons.
Oh okay!
And in case this conversation looked too grown up, you will not believe that the last sentence, for example, was said, "Oh Othay!" She is still a baby.
That is not all. When I went to pick her up, she remembered.
Amma, did you go the shop and buy.. umm... soppu, ginger, garlic and lemons?
Yes, I did.
Oh othay!
She is besotted with traffic lights and exclaims with horror if S~ jumps, as she thinks, a signal.
Ayyooooo!! But it was red!!
Didn't you see the green left arrow blinking, Puttachi? We were allowed to go left.
Oh othay!
She wonders why there are no traffic lights in sidelanes, and listens seriously to all explanations, and retains them too, and uses it back on us next time.
When we give her a piece of news, she wants to know everything, perhaps imagines the whole thing ahead.
Puttachi, we are going to X's house.
Who will be there? Why? Does he have a playroom? Will he share his things with me? What if he doesn't? Will we have lunch there? On what will we sit? Do they have a small chair in their house? Then where will I sit? Will his father be there? Is there a park near their house? Then where shall we go in the evening?
or
Puttachi, Y is coming to our place today.
Who is bringing her? What about her father? How are they coming? Who will drive the car? Is Y big enough to sit on the seat? Will she sit in the car seat? Or will she sit on her mother's lap? Can she walk? Can she talk? Can she play with me? What will you give them? Can Y eat anything? Then what will Y eat? Can Y do susu on her own? Then where will she do it? What if Y is asleep when she comes here?
No way has she got this from me. It must be S~'s genes.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The end of an era.
Pt. Dinkar Kaikini passed away last week. He was one of the greats of Hindustani Music, and was also the father and Guru of my Guru.
He was elegant and dignified, stoic and assured. He had kind eyes, and a tiny smile was always playing on his lips. I was in awe of him in my younger days, but he always made me comfortable with an affectionate word.
His music - where do I start? Before I was introduced to his music, I had a number of albums by the more popular and well-known musicians. I listened to them with great enjoyment and reverence. But after hearing Pt.Kaikini's music, I started classifying those very albums as, to my horror, lounge music. I couldn't even bear to listen to some of those albums again!
But what is it about his music? It is profound and sincere. And very heavy. It's the real thing. It's magical, the way his voice wraps itself around some notes - guaranteed to move me to tears. Listening to some of his recordings is like meditating.
But that is not all there was to him. He was a composer too. Most of the compositions in Hindustani music are small - four-line compositions that form the base for the development of the Raaga. Unlike Carnatic Music, which is rich and brimming with elaborate compositions, Hindustani music doesn't lay much emphasis on the lyrics. But Pt.Kaikini's compositions are magnificent. Like my grandmother once observed, "I thought Hindustani music compositions are all about separation from the beloved, and the occasional prayer to God, but Pt.Dinkar Kaikini's compositions are something else."
Beautiful lyrics, wonderful meaning - about God, nature and philosophy. And not only that - the words themselves are so beautiful that you want to pop them in your mouth, roll them about with your tongue and savour them, if you know what I mean. He was a genius!
He was a music scholar - with immense knowledge about music. He was also well-known for his lecture-demonstrations.
I understand that his music might not have popular appeal. For that, I am all the more thankful that I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to know his music, to have been given the resources to appreciate it and soak in it.
I've hardly met him ten times (he lived in Bombay), but the loss feels very personal.
He was elegant and dignified, stoic and assured. He had kind eyes, and a tiny smile was always playing on his lips. I was in awe of him in my younger days, but he always made me comfortable with an affectionate word.
His music - where do I start? Before I was introduced to his music, I had a number of albums by the more popular and well-known musicians. I listened to them with great enjoyment and reverence. But after hearing Pt.Kaikini's music, I started classifying those very albums as, to my horror, lounge music. I couldn't even bear to listen to some of those albums again!
But what is it about his music? It is profound and sincere. And very heavy. It's the real thing. It's magical, the way his voice wraps itself around some notes - guaranteed to move me to tears. Listening to some of his recordings is like meditating.
But that is not all there was to him. He was a composer too. Most of the compositions in Hindustani music are small - four-line compositions that form the base for the development of the Raaga. Unlike Carnatic Music, which is rich and brimming with elaborate compositions, Hindustani music doesn't lay much emphasis on the lyrics. But Pt.Kaikini's compositions are magnificent. Like my grandmother once observed, "I thought Hindustani music compositions are all about separation from the beloved, and the occasional prayer to God, but Pt.Dinkar Kaikini's compositions are something else."
Beautiful lyrics, wonderful meaning - about God, nature and philosophy. And not only that - the words themselves are so beautiful that you want to pop them in your mouth, roll them about with your tongue and savour them, if you know what I mean. He was a genius!
He was a music scholar - with immense knowledge about music. He was also well-known for his lecture-demonstrations.
I understand that his music might not have popular appeal. For that, I am all the more thankful that I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to know his music, to have been given the resources to appreciate it and soak in it.
I've hardly met him ten times (he lived in Bombay), but the loss feels very personal.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Papeeha Once Again
There are a few old posts on which I keep getting comments and mails even now, mostly from people who land there via search engines. But no post generates as many mails as the one I wrote ages ago, about Sai Paranjpye's Papeeha.
Almost all the mails are similar - It was telecast on DD, I watched it and loved it, I haven't heard anything about it ever since - Do you have any idea if the CD/DVD is available?
When I wrote that piece, I had a completely different set of readers, and so I thought I'd link to it and see if any of you have something to say!
Almost all the mails are similar - It was telecast on DD, I watched it and loved it, I haven't heard anything about it ever since - Do you have any idea if the CD/DVD is available?
When I wrote that piece, I had a completely different set of readers, and so I thought I'd link to it and see if any of you have something to say!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Eclipse!
Did you watch the eclipse? I did! It was beautiful. I have never seen the sun eclipsed so much (with my own eyes - from behind sun filters!). As Puttachi said, it looked like a "'C' in the sky."
What saddened me no end was that Puttachi and I were the only ones on our terrace, apart from another mother-daughter pair on the terrace of a neighbouring block. Out of the entire neighbourhood, only the four of us were eager enough to catch this fascinating event.
The rest, I am guessing, more out of false beliefs than out of disinterest, stayed inside.
I don't get it. Our ancestors didn't know what was happening. They had reason to believe that something evil was happening. But we are in 2010, for heavens' sake! We've been to the moon, we've been to space, we've photographed things from space - we know what is happening! Just that the moon has come between the earth and the sun! So why the fear? Why the fasting? Why the bathing? I am trying so hard to keep myself calm here, but indulge me a bit while I scream - IT IS RIDICULOUS!!!!
Puttachi and I went out into the eclipsed sun's rays, we ate during the eclipse, and we did not bathe after the eclipse, we did not offer prayers to propitiate anybody. And I am living, and hale and hearty, and writing this post. And this is not just us, everybody in my family has sat and eaten through a countless eclipses over the last 6 or 7 decades. Two of my aunts have gone out during eclipses when they were pregnant, and they have strong, healthy, intelligent sons.
What further proof can I give you? What else can I say? I know that there are some people who are "careful", you know, "Just in case". But think. The sun's rays are coming onto you. The moon blocks the rays for a while, and then moves away. What can possibly be the harm? It makes me want to cry.
Many people are trying to eradicate these silly superstitions, but is it really working? Rationalists do it, yes. But look at this. During the last eclipse, the seer of Murugarajendra Mutt of Chitradurga sat outside with his followers, and watched the eclipse, and even served food to them, and ate it himself, during the eclipse. (can't find the link to the report). During this eclipse, a couple got married at his Mutt!
I am your fan, Seer of Murugarajendra Mutt! We need more people like you! If people don't want to believe rationalists and scientists, at least I hope they will believe you spiritual leaders!
If you know Kannada, you might like to read this.
This post is too late for this eclipse, so I'll probably re-post it before the next eclipse. Please, people! Wake up and see the eclipse for what it really is!
What saddened me no end was that Puttachi and I were the only ones on our terrace, apart from another mother-daughter pair on the terrace of a neighbouring block. Out of the entire neighbourhood, only the four of us were eager enough to catch this fascinating event.
The rest, I am guessing, more out of false beliefs than out of disinterest, stayed inside.
I don't get it. Our ancestors didn't know what was happening. They had reason to believe that something evil was happening. But we are in 2010, for heavens' sake! We've been to the moon, we've been to space, we've photographed things from space - we know what is happening! Just that the moon has come between the earth and the sun! So why the fear? Why the fasting? Why the bathing? I am trying so hard to keep myself calm here, but indulge me a bit while I scream - IT IS RIDICULOUS!!!!
Puttachi and I went out into the eclipsed sun's rays, we ate during the eclipse, and we did not bathe after the eclipse, we did not offer prayers to propitiate anybody. And I am living, and hale and hearty, and writing this post. And this is not just us, everybody in my family has sat and eaten through a countless eclipses over the last 6 or 7 decades. Two of my aunts have gone out during eclipses when they were pregnant, and they have strong, healthy, intelligent sons.
What further proof can I give you? What else can I say? I know that there are some people who are "careful", you know, "Just in case". But think. The sun's rays are coming onto you. The moon blocks the rays for a while, and then moves away. What can possibly be the harm? It makes me want to cry.
Many people are trying to eradicate these silly superstitions, but is it really working? Rationalists do it, yes. But look at this. During the last eclipse, the seer of Murugarajendra Mutt of Chitradurga sat outside with his followers, and watched the eclipse, and even served food to them, and ate it himself, during the eclipse. (can't find the link to the report). During this eclipse, a couple got married at his Mutt!
I am your fan, Seer of Murugarajendra Mutt! We need more people like you! If people don't want to believe rationalists and scientists, at least I hope they will believe you spiritual leaders!
If you know Kannada, you might like to read this.
This post is too late for this eclipse, so I'll probably re-post it before the next eclipse. Please, people! Wake up and see the eclipse for what it really is!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Child-locking!
There was a Dennis the Menace cartoon in which Dennis' father was trying to open a medicine bottle, saying, "How do you open this child-proof bottle?" And Dennis walks in through the door, saying, "Lemme show ya!"
Not too far-fetched, I realized, when my then ten-year-old cousin taught his mother how to use the child-locking facility for TV channels, in their new TV set.
So it didn't really come as a complete surprise, when, after "helping" me load the washing machine, Puttachi reached out and tried to activate the child lock!
Not too far-fetched, I realized, when my then ten-year-old cousin taught his mother how to use the child-locking facility for TV channels, in their new TV set.
So it didn't really come as a complete surprise, when, after "helping" me load the washing machine, Puttachi reached out and tried to activate the child lock!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Children's story in Open Sesame
I'm mighty kicked right now. Deccan Herald's children's supplement, Open Sesame, has published my story today.
Just a simple story - tried writing for children for the first time.
Just a simple story - tried writing for children for the first time.
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