Today was Puttachi's first day at school. She was prepared to go in without me, and was very excited to wear her new uniform and shoes, and carry her new bag. She even woke up early in the morning, raring to go to school.
She looked heart-breakingly adorable - big, dark eyes full of excitement, short, unruly hair pinned down on either side by inadequate hairclips, wearing a uniform too loose for her in spite of attempts at alteration, unfamiliar shoes, and a no-nonsense brown bag - and she couldn't keep still as usual.
When we reached school, the watchman and an ayah took her from me, smiled at her, patted her head and cheeks, and led her away lovingly. She did not even look back at me.
I stood on my toes and watched her little figure until I could see her no longer. And then I stood right there and wept shamelessly!
She came out quite composed too, but the moment she spoke, I knew from her slightly heavy voice that she'd been crying. But the first thing she said to me was, "Amma, they gave me green milk! And something yellow to eat. It was sweet. I finished it all!"
Slowly, out it came without any prodding. "I cried just a little bit, Amma. I knew you would come and pick me up, but yet I wanted you, and so I cried. "
A new beginning, new feelings, new emotions. Decisions taken in the belief that it is for the best. A little girl going out into the world.
Silence.
14 comments:
Hi,
You echoed my feelings. I felt the same way on my son's first day at school. Tears were rolled beyond my control :-)
Lakshmi
aaaaw you too...big hugs to both you and puttacchi.
You made me visualise this day! I am thinking of putting my daughter in a playschool and seem to postpone things as i want her to be with me!Puttachi is so composed and brave..good girl
new beginnings :) these are precious lil times. hugs to both.
I still remember the feeling on my son's first day to school. It was literally as if a part of me had gone out for a walk. I cannot believe that little Puttachi is already wearing a uniform and is off to school and can say verbalize such complex thoughts like:I knew you would come and pick me up, but yet I wanted you, and so I cried.
She is a very bright child and so adorable.Muah!
Hugs to both of you :)
Awww... what a cutie pie :) :) Sigh... I've seen her only twice and she's already going to school!
Shruthi, i have been reading your blog since a month or two (ya also read some of your previous blogs).
Your way of expressing puttachi is the most i like. She should be a cutie pie :)
I too have a cutie pie, she is 1.5 years old. I havae too experienced some of the most wonderful moments with my daughter, but i am really bad at putting them into words. so i enjoy reading your blogs.
Keep going, would continue to them.
regards and lots of love to puttachi :)
Avinash
wow.. big steps. congratulations to you and her!
lovely narration. btb what is green milk and yellow thing
looks like puttachi is getting ready to take off, still the attachment of missing amma is exhibited. nice to read and great going
The grass in front of the school is greener coz of all the mom's tears that have fallen there (mine included!)
Way to go Puttachi! I will tell Div to try n spot her! Dhruv was gloating yesterday abt being older than 'the babies' :-D
Heart-wrenching and beautiful :)
sunshine
Touching and a sweet one. It was nice to see ur daughter excited to go to school on the first day itself and it was quite moving to see you crying shamelessly on the contrary.
Hugs to both of you :)
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