Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Getting your child to speak to you about her day

"How was school today?"


"What did you do?"


Does that sound familiar? Exasperating, no? But how do you get kids to talk about their day?

Some time back, I read a list of questions that you could ask kids so that they open up to you about school. The questions in that link is a good start, but you can evolve what works best for you, depending on your child's age and interests.

I juggle questions, mix them up, ask some more than I do others, but here is an example of some of the questions I ask Puttachi:

- So what made you laugh today?

- Did you see anybody do something kind today?

- Tell me what the worst moment was for you today.

- Did you feel scared?

- Did anybody bother you today?

- Did you help anybody today?

- Did anybody help you today with something?

- Was the teacher happy or upset with anybody from your class today?

- Did anything make you angry/annoyed today?

- Did anything make you happy today?

- What was the best part of your day?

- If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?

Btw one question that ALWAYS gives me an enthusiastic response is this:
"Did anybody get hurt at school?"  Because somebody always falls down or hurts themselves during play break, and children are utterly fascinated by bruises and scratches and falls.

And when children open up about something, you can follow up on it the next day. For instance, if the child has told you yesterday, "Mr. M spoke sharply to D because he was disrupting the class." Today you can ask, "Was D better-behaved during class today?"

These questions are also a good way to reinforce kind behaviour. For instance, when Puttachi tells me, "G was crying today." I ask her, "Did you try to find out why, or did you say or do anything to her to make her feel better?"  That way, Puttachi knows what is expected of her.

Another thing is, when she starts speaking about her day/emotions/feelings, I try not to interrupt her for any reason. I allow her to retain the flow, though sometimes it is tempting to stop and correct her pronunciation or language, etc.

I'd be interested to know if you've tried something that works for you,

1 comment:

Chhaya said...

I have been asking my 10 year old similar questions, Shruthi. Broad questions like 'How was school?' generally get rewarded with monosyllabic answers. But if I ask him about specific classes or games that they played during recess, he typically talks more. He enjoys reading during free time so I ask him about the books that he chose in class. He also readily talks about science projects conducted in his class.

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