Thursday, January 12, 2012

After many years....

Yesterday, I got in touch with a high-school classmate on FB.  He wrote on my wall, "How are you doing?  Still leading the charge against all of MANkind? :)"

For a second, I assumed he must have mistaken me for someone else.  On reflection, I realized that yes, he was talking about the high-school me, and he's got the description of that fourteen-year-girl exactly right.  As I rolled about with laughter at my young self and the apt description, I remembered that yes, I was very firm and stern and vocal against what I saw as atrocities against womankind by that terrible tribe of men, and I made myself very clear about it.  Of course, I still feel strongly about the topic, but I no longer have that fire in my belly.

And I paused for a moment to wonder where that girl has gone.  It sounds funny, if I think of it, that I am the same person.  How different I was then, in so many ways!

Reminds me of something that happened a few months ago.  I had a little black book that I used in my teens, where I noted down phone numbers of friends.  Only the important ones entered the little black book.

I found this book recently, flipped through its pages, and was lost in nostalgia, until I came to an entry, "Prerana (Menaka's friend)"  [Names changed.]  Not only did I not recognize the name Prerana, I did not even recognize the name Menaka.  And Menaka must have been someone I knew quite well, to use her name as a reference for someone else.  I almost felt I was losing my memory or something.  I still have no idea who those two girls are.   But at some point of time, they were important enough to be included in my book!

I know how much people can and do change over the years.   But yet, I found myself making the same mistake branding a certain person by the impression I had of her in my childhood.  At that time, I perceived her as snobbish, and she always made me feel dowdy and insignificant.   I was never really comfortable around her.  After many many years, we got in touch again, and though she repeatedly extended her hand to me in friendship, I turned away with trepidation, the old ghost in me rising up and not being comfortable around her.  Finally, I realized that the problem was with me, and then I myself made the leap and connected with her.  I then realized she's turned into a lovely lady. [It could be argued that she always had been a lovely person, and I had not seen it. :)]  We don't get to interact too often, but I know now that she can be a good friend.

Everybody needs to be given a second chance, everything has to be given the benefit of doubt.  What say?


PeeVee said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post! And since you were my role model all the time, I must also have been like this at some point in time! Haha! :P

Aarthi said...

what a lovely post..
You must have been one hell of a teenager to be labeled like that.

I remember raising hell when my brother's name but not my name was included in some family marriage invitation
I still feel it was wrong but I would handle it quite differently now.

You haven't lost the fire power you just know how to channel it now

Sumana said...

Don't know why or what makes that happen experience or otherwise, I have seen couple of friends who have changed drastically over years. Childhood friends one of whom was so cunning that i would run away from her, now found me on orkut/fb and we started being in touch again. Now i see her to be a totally different personality that i could imagine..

Shammi said...

I found it amusing and frustrating when I went through some of my old schoolgirl diaries, where I referred to practically everyone by their nickname (for boys I admired) or initials (for classmates and friends)... and now I've no clue to the identity of about 90% of them! :D I'm amazed that you had only one such in your little black book :D

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