What Puttachi is doing in Mysore

Watching the rain....




Exploring the garden....





Weeding her great-grandmother's garden....




....And getting her hands dirty :)

Fifteen Months

I haven't given you Puttachi updates in a while, and since some of you reminded me to, here they are. I seem to have forgotten how to write interesting updates - either because her progress is so overwhelming or that I have so much to say that I don't know where to start!

Anyway here it is in "short".

Puttachi is a very spirited child. Very active and restless, she is nearly always a blur of movement. Even if she is sitting in one place, her hands and feet are blurs. Her curiosity is endless. No object around the house is safe from her scrutiny. She wants to go everywhere, see everything, and test it for taste, breakage, and even for ergonomics! She continues to be very friendly, dazzling everybody with her smile.

She has a vocabulary of more than 130-140 words as I write this. And I am not counting the words that she repeats immediately after us, because that is plain imitation. These 140 words are those that she actually knows.

And when she wants something, she doesn't stop saying the word until she gets it. For example, if she wants a spoon, which btw, is her favourite object now, she goes on saying "phoonphoonphoonphoon...." with her hands and legs dancing to the rhythm, until she gets the spoon in her hand. Only then does she stop. It can get quite maddening - a little hurricane dancing around your legs, chanting loudly, something like "aacheaacheaacheaacheaache..."[Aache - outside] - sometimes your brain just refuses to work until the hurricane is catered to.

Her dance when she wants something is such a unique movement that everybody who sees it comments about it and has a hearty laugh. Her two feet are stomping on the floor alternately, her hands are flapping, palms are doing a round-and-round bulb screwing-unscrewing action, her head is thrown back, her eyes are looking at the ground, her face has an expression of urgency, and she says the name of the objec trepeatedly, like I mentioned before, like a stuck gramophone record. And oh yes, her lips hardly move when she is saying whatever she is. In this state, she is in her own world - I cannot really begin to describe it to you - you have to see it to believe it!

Lately, she has started stringing words together. "Papa elli?" (where's Papa?) "Adu Elephant" (That is an elephant) "Amma taachi" (Amma is sleeping). She also communicates with sign language to get things done. She also understands a lot of what we say, and sometimes follows my instructions to the T. Sometimes her level of understanding and communication takes me totally by surprise.

She is turning out to be very independent. She wants to eat by herself, wash her feet herself, pour water over herself in the bath, she even tries to wear her clothes herself. If I put food in front of her, more often than not, she eats the entire thing herself. [Even if it is something sticky like anna-saaru, dal-rice, etc] The cleaning up is a pain, but she sometimes refuses to be fed, wanting to do it herself. So I am forced to give in. But there are times of course, when she just plays with the food and starts flinging it around, in which case I have to put my foot down.

She also communicates her needs pretty well now, which is a huge relief. She says nunu for water when thirsty, she points to a plate or at the microwave when she is hungry, and she literally drags me to bed when she is sleepy.

Which reminds me, when she is dragging you somewhere, it is just like a dog pulling at its leash. She is strong and she is fast. If she decides to drag you someplace, you have no choice but to follow her.

She is a drama queen through and through. And when she knows that she is being watched, she puts on such a performance for everybody to see. She is also an imitator of the first order. Then there are other funny things she does, like walking backwards towards a seating target, no matter how far it is. She walks backward until the back of her legs occur resistance, and then she sits down.

She loves the outdoors, and will willingly give up food and sleep to be outside.

On the whole, it is tremendous fun with such a hyper little thing around, though at times, I get so exhausted that I remember to breathe only after she falls asleep!

Shruthi's Law of Parenting

Just when you think that parenting cannot possibly get any harder, it does.

Totto-chan

I read a very likeable book last week - Totto-chan. The author, Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, is a well-known Japanese television personality. The book is an account of her own experiences at an ideal school that she attended as a child. Apparently, the author credits her success in life to this school and its headmaster.

Totto-chan (the author herself), a little girl, is expelled from her elementary school because she is "disruptive", whereas actually the active little girl is just following her natural child's curiosity. Totto-Chan's mother then takes her to the school, Tomoe Gakuen, whose headmaster Sosaku Kobayashi has studied educational methods from around the world, and has started this school to run on these ideals.

The school is unique in many ways - the classrooms are used railway carriages, there are no fixed classes, anybody can do what they want to when they like, and there is a focus on doing rather than just rote learning. The school teaches openness, frankness, love and acceptance, and aims to keep the spark in the children alive. The students actually enjoy going to school, and are disappointed when school hours get over!

"Having eyes, but not seeing beauty; having ears, but not hearing music; having minds, but not perceiving truth; having hearts that are never moved and therefore never set on fire. These are the things to fear."

... Is one of the things the headmaster believes in. Now how wonderful is that!?

The book and the incidents in it are very interesting. Since the language is simple, it can be good reading for young children too. And I think it is a must for parents and teachers.

I found a very nice write-up of the book - here and here.

I can see shades of Totto-chan in Puttachi. She is growing up to be a very active, curious child. She is bursting with energy, and she is so full of life. Reading this book made me wish that there is a Tomoe Gakuen where I can send Puttachi to study, so that the fiery spirit in her doesn't fade.

I'm afraid that is what schools do to us - compel us to conform to the "system", set wrong parameters for success, and turn bright kids into boxes. I know that we, as parents, do have a say in the matter, and it is definitely possible for us to ensure that the spark is not extinguished. But do we really have that much strength to resist the deep-rooted institutionalization that schools have to offer?

The Olympics

For me, it all began with the Seoul Olympics of 1988. I was old enough to watch and understand it, and I was very fascinated by it. I would come back from school and sit hooked to the television, forgetting even to go out and play. I watched with a sense of horror as Ben Johnson was stripped of his medal, I watched with glee as Steffi Graf won the Gold Medal, I wanted to paint my nails and grow my hair like FloJo, I watched with bated breath as Greg Louganis hit his head against the spring board.... I remember so many things from that first Olympics. I can even remember the pictures used to represent each event. That set the stage for my love affair with the Olympics.

During our crazy days of trying to be Nadia Comaneci and Jesse Owens, I was quite sure that one day I would represent India at the Olympics. I didn't know in what sport, but I would. As the years passed, of course, my dream came down to just wanting to watch the Olympics some day. [That hasn't happened either... yet.]

The 1992 Barcelona Olympics did everything to fuel my fascination. I cut out the event schedule from the newspaper and pasted it on the back of my bedroom door, and everyday I would check the list to see if any of my favourite events were on, and I would be sure to watch it. The events would go on late into the night due to the time difference, but it would hardly deter me. At that time, it was fashionable to say that you had a crush on one of the Olympic athletes. (though I don't think we called it "crush") And I had chosen Vitaly Scherbo, the gymnast, who won Gold after Gold. I can still see quite clearly in my mind's eye, Scherbo's performance on the rings.

The 1996 Atlanta Olympics was marked by the fact that we got a new (colour) television set just in time for the Opening Ceremony (calling the store and shouting at them because they hadn't delivered it yet, and the ceremony was to be telecast the next morning). The events, of course, only started in the evening for us, and so I had to be content with the highlights.

The 2000 Sydney and 2004 Athens Olympics were nearly non-existent to me. I don't remember why I didn't watch the Sydney Olympics (most probably exams or some such thing), but I was in Mumbai during the Athens Olympics, without easy access to television. So I just read the reports in the newspapers, if I could get hold of one. It was that bad.

But the Beijing Olympics has been an unexpected party for me. For one, I am not going out to work, and so I can watch television all the time. Second, I do not even have school/college/studies. I do have some work that I have to do, but it is something I can do with the television set on. Third, I am in Mysore right now, with a bunch of people, all of them who are crazy about the Olympics, and watching with them all is even more fun. Fourth, the Olympics being held in China, the time difference is hardly anything, and I can watch all the events live, right from morning till night, without having to wait for the highlights. What fun, I tell you!

I like watching the events, yes, but do you know what I like better than that? To feel the palpable tension of the final moments in each event, to watch the athletes react after winning. To watch their faces as they climb the podium to receive their medals. To watch them fight to hold back tears as the flags of their countries go up, with their national anthems in the background. To feel their joy, to revel in their excitement. To live their moments in proxy.

But in my eyes, every Olympian is a winner. You just cannot belittle the years of hard work and sweat and dedication, that enables them to participate in this magnificent show. It is almost unfair to crown one person the winner.

But whatever it is, I love the Olympics.

Bangalore to Mysore

Some of the high points of my hitherto mostly uneventful life are journeys from Bangalore to Mysore. They have always been special because Mysore means to me - holidays, lazing around, getting to meet grandparents and cousins and aunts, eating good food, and generally having fun.

And the journey to Mysore has always been sweet - the anticipation, the excitement....

My first memories of going to Mysore consist of getting up at unearthly hours to catch the 4 45 am bus from near our home, that went directly to Mysore, with a stop at the main bus stop. So my parents would pull us out of bed and drag us, half asleep, to catch this bus, telling me that I could sleep on the way (which I usually did). There was a corresponding bus (at a slightly more earthly hour) from Mysore back to Bangalore. These early buses ensured that we reached our destination very early, and had the whole day ahead of us. But the buses those days weren't as comfortable as they are now - but they would do - after all, it was a journey of just about 3 hours. I would sleep for the first half of the journey, and wake up when the bus stopped half-way at Maddur. I would then eat the sandwiches that my mother had packed, and then doze fitfully for the rest of the journey. My mother, usually travelling with two small kids and a fair amount of luggage, never got down from the bus during the ten minute stop. But when my father was travelling with us, he would get down to stretch his legs, and I would be paranoid that the bus would leave without him. I would be jittery and keep looking out of the window to keep him in my sight, and my pulse rate would come back to normal only when he got back onto the bus.

But the 4 45 bus service from near our house was discontinued, and then we would have to go all the way to Majestic to catch the bus. But since we anyway had to go to Majestic, we started going by train, because we enjoyed it more. Oh the excitement! Rushing in to the compartment and grabbing two window seats - one for my sister and one for me, better still if the window seats were west-facing (so that the sun wouldn't blind us as the journey progressed). Settling in, keeping the luggage away, removing our footwear and sitting on the seats, and looking out of the windows. Wait desperately for the train to start, and when it did, stare mesmerized at the huge city of Bangalore. Know that we have left Bangalore, at the stench of the city sewage canal. Watch the landscape unfold. The green paddy fields, the bushes and shrubs, and then the distinctive rocky landscape of Ramanagaram. Watch once again as the rocks fade away, giving rise to the same kind of hypnotic landscape, the sapota trees, the coconut trees, the toddy palms, the wild flowers, an occasional lake or stream, a hillock or two with a temple right on top, the stations, some small, some big, but all the same.

None of the stations held as much interest as that of the Maddur station, simply because of the vendors selling hot Maddur vades. How our stomachs would growl and mouths water at the tantalizing fragrance! But our mother would refuse to buy it for us, stating lack of hygiene as the reason. She would say that she would make it for us after we got to Mysore. We would just have to be content to dream about the hygienic Maddur Vades we would get at home, and do with watching our co-passengers gobble down the Maddur Vades and wiping their fingers on the oily paper. Once, just once, our mother astonished us by buying us Maddur vades at the station. We went mad with joy, and wolfed down the oily vades with glee.

But what she did buy for us regularly were the roasted groundnuts, peddled by a toothless old man, mumbling, "Kallekaaaayi, kallekaaaayi." We would buy heaps of groundnuts, and crack each nut laboriously, to eat the delicious nuts within. We would then wrap up all the shells carefully in paper to dispose of later. A few years later, a young boy replaced the old man, and we were told that the old man had died and this boy was his grandson. We bought the groundnuts anyway.

The landscape, meanwhile, remained unchanged, until, of course, we reached the island town of Srirangapatna. We would pass the Kaveri river twice with a deafening clanging, and we would peep out to see how many of the rocks in the rocky river was visible, and exclaim at how much rain or how less of it had fallen that year.

When we had passed the Kaveri the second time, we would grow dizzy with excitement and impatience, because it meant that Mysore was just a stone's throw away. And sure enough, as the first clumps of homes and buildings came into view, we would start putting on our shoes and taking the luggage down, and start jummping up and down. As the train rolled into the station and stopped, we would jump out and rush to the auto stand to find the auto that would take us to Ajji-Tata's house. The superb culmination of a wonderful journey.

But we've hardly travelled by trains in the last five-six years. With roads getting broader and better, and the cars getting faster, we have been driving down to Mysore. But my excitement remains unabated. I love getting up in the cool of the morning, loading things into the car, and setting out on the smooth drive, punctuated only by a stop at Kamat Lokaruchi or some other popular highway restaurant for a mouthful of delicious breakfast, and some steaming coffee.

I guess the journey to Mysore, for me, will always be sweet.

A Beetle in the Park

Have you ever seen such a beautiful beetle? It shone with such a lovely greenish-gold glow!

My cousin V found it in the park in front of my parents' home, when my father and V took Puttachi there for a walk.

Oh, have I told you the story of this park? It belongs to the Housing Society of which my father is a member. For years and years, it languished, full of overgrown bushes and trees, and filled with snakes and other animals. It was also a site for illegal and dirty activities. Very often, there were threats of it being taken over for private use by unauthorised people. My father and other members worked long and hard to protect the park, and very recently, the park was finally marked for development. The bushes were cleared, and a walking path and a couple of shelters have already been built.

What a relief! The best part is that it is right across my parents' home. As for this beetle, it was found wandering alone on the side of the walking path.

Disclaimer: No animals were hurt during the preparation of this post and the clicking of the photo. The aforementioned beetle was safely let go in a bush in my mother's garden.

Wow!

Did you see the Opening Ceremony of the Beijing Olympics? Truly spectacular, stunning, and spellbinding. I watched it live, and actually applauded when the torch lit up.

Thanks are due specially to Puttachi, who amused herself with a bowl, a spoon, and some blocks, allowing me to watch one of my favourite shows, one that comes only once every four years. It also helped that she was quite taken with Jingjing, the Panda mascot. (She is crazy about Pandas now).

Imagine the kind of hard work that has gone into this whole show! It made me feel very sad too, at times. If China can do it, can't we do it too?

GP Rajarathnam

This year is the birth centenary of the Kannada poet G.P. Rajarathnam.

He has written many, many books, but he is best-known for his work Ratnana Padagalu - life as seen from the eyes of Yendkuduka Ratna (Drunkard Ratna). The entire work, in verse, is written in rustic Kannada style. It is recommended that you read it out aloud to experience the complete effect. It is a very funny, sad, and extremely thought-provoking work. My mom read it out to me for a while long, long ago, until other matters claimed our interest and we forgot all about it. I really have to read the whole thing soon. Ratnana Padagalu has been popularized by well-known Kannada singers, and it is still appreciated and admired.

But the reason why I personally like him so much is because of his poems written for children. You could call them Kannada Nursery Rhymes. I am sure every Kannadiga child knows at least one of his poems - at least "Naayi Mari". His poems are very lovable. Small, easy to recite, and enjoyable too, what with the rhymes and alliterations.

I grew up reciting and singing these small poems and songs... my favourites are "Naayi Mari", "Taata butti tumba rotti", "Putaani Krishna", "Haavu bantu haavu bantu", "Kuri mari byaa", "Namma maneyalondu sanna paapa", etc.

According to GP Rajaratnam himself, he had no intention of writing poems for children. But once, he found himself jobless after doing his MA, and stood in for his ailing father who was a Kannada teacher in a school. He was quite distressed to see the kind of poems in the Kannada syllabus for such small children. That evening, while he was sitting and thinking, a poem, "Bannada tagadina tutturi", came to him without his bidding. He was thrilled with it, and taught it to his students the next day, who loved it too. He then went around teaching it to all the children he knew, until finally, it came to a publisher's notice, who asked him to write a few more poems and published his first collection of children's songs. The rest, of course, is history.

In the introduction to his "Kandana Kavyamale", the collection of collections of poems (!), he has written that these poems were written four decades ago, and they are still so popular, and has asked, what more could a writer want?

He wrote that in 1978. He would be thrilled to know that thirty years after he wrote that, at least one mother is still teaching her daughter his poems. His words are still alive!

Info:
His works are available at all popular book stalls.
Sapna Book House has recently published 25 volumes of his children's literature, available at all Sapna showrooms in Bangalore.

Engannada

A couple of months ago, we had visited somebody, and they were showing Puttachi pictures in a book.
"Tiger Elli?" They asked her. (Where is Tiger?).
Puttachi looked blank. They were surprised, and they called out to me and asked me how it is that Puttachi did not know Tiger.
I said, "She doesn't know Tiger, she knows "huli" (Tiger in Kannada).
"Puttachi, huli elli?" They asked her.
Her eyes lit up, she pointed to the Tiger in the book, and for good measure, shaped her hands like claws and roared.

I talk to Puttachi almost entirely in Kannada, and most of the common nouns and verbs are also in Kannada up to a sensible limit. For example, though I know that Rhinoceros in Kannada is GhenDamriga and Ostrich is BenkikoLi, I teach her Rhinoceros and Ostrich. Similarly, I call a chair "Kurchi", but a table, "Table", not Meju, simply because that is how I would say it.

But I know lots and lots of people, some who are not even English fans or fanatics, who use English for nouns when talking to Puttachi. For example, they will most likely tell me, "Shruthi, aa hoovu eshTu channagide noDu!" (Look! How beautiful that flower is!), and then immediately turn to Puttachi and say, "noDu, flower nOdu." Why "hoovu" to me and "flower" to her? And this is not a one-off incident.

I first wondered if this was a Kannadiga trait, but the little boy next door told me, "Aunty, sky mein sun hota hai aur night mein moon aur stars hote hain." Whatever happened to aakash, chand and suraj? Relegated to romantic film songs?

At he park I see more than fifty percent of parents talking to their kids in English. Entirely in English. I know that many of them are from bilingual marriages, and English is the common language at home, but the others?

Is it training for school? Is it an effort to sound "upmarket"? Or are there any other legitimate reasons?

Puttachi recognizes both English and Kannada words for several objects now, because I read out the English word from the book, and tell her the Kannada word for it. (And as it happens, she finds the English word easier to say!) Anyway, I am just keeping my speech to her Kannada based, sprinkled with English. And I am not too bothered.

Children are like sponges. I don't think there is anything to worry about that they will not learn English in time for school, if that is the reason. If there is any other reason, I would love to hear it.

The One Movie

Lots of things happening.... and I am scrambling for time to blog.... all those thoughts in my head are not finding an outlet and that is driving me crazy!

Meanwhile, here is something I always wanted to ask you all...

If somebody told you that you are allowed to watch just one more movie in your life. Just one. Which movie would you suggest to that person?

If somebody told you that he/she is allowed to watch just one more movie in his/her life. Just one. Which movie would you recommend to that person?

I have many favourites... but right now, I can confidently say - "The Shawshank Redemption". For the pure thrill, ecstasy, agony, excitement, horror, pity, revulsion, exhilaration, disbelief, joy - and for the superb ending.

Which is your One Favourite Movie? Do let me know. Any language is okay. You can take it up as a tag, or leave your choice in the comments section.

I am waiting!

Teddy Bears

Puttachi has five Teddy Bears. The four smaller ones are gifts and hand-me-downs. We bought the big one for her because she saw it at a shop and hugged it and didn't let it go. This was about 3-4 months ago.

Shortly after the big Teddy Bear came home, she would pretend to pat it to sleep just like I pat her to sleep. Around this time, I introduced her to a book from the Disney Babies book series, "Baby Mickey's Toys". Basically, Baby Mickey has lots of toys and one of the toys is a Teddy Bear. So at the end of the little book, Baby Mickey hugs his Teddy Bear. Whenever I read this to Puttachi, I would hug her and show her how, and then give her one of her Teddy Bears to hug.

It must have started then. This craze for Teddy Bears. She has been particularly attached to her Teddy Bears, but from the past couple of weeks, her craze has reached dizzying heights. She dreams of Teddy Bears. She spots Teddy Bears everywhere. In shops, on roads. Even the car-driving bear in the Airwick ad... and videos of herself with teddy bears.... She even spotted a tiny Teddy Bear on a cracker packet in a supermarket, and she screamed "Teddy Teddy!" for the whole place to hear, and would have ripped the packet open if I hadn't physically carried her away.

A few mornings ago, she woke up early and was in a very sleepy state - too sleepy to wake up, but not sleepy enough to go back to sleep, so she was cranky and was crying. All I did was say, "Puttachi, where is Teddy?" And her eyes cleared up, her face brightened, and she was fully awake in five seconds.

When previously, she would look at pictures in books, now, all she does is look for Teddy Bears in books.

Sample this.

Me: Look, Puttachi, Zebra! Giraffe!
Puttachi: *looks, turns a few pages, spots a Teddy Bear*
Puttachi: Teddy! Teddy!
Me: Yes, Teddy. Now look at this... Park! What is this? A tree!
Puttachi: Teddy? Teddy?
Me: Yes Teddy is in the other page. Now look at this. So many flowers! Red flower, pink flower...
Puttachi: Teddy? Teddy?
Me: Ok, you finished seeing Teddy, now look at this...
Puttachi: Teddy! Teddy! Teddy?
Me: Ok ok, let's see Teddy one more time.. there you go..
Puttachi: TEDDDYYY!
Me: Yes, now look, what is this? A chimpanzee!
Puttachi: Teddy? Teddy?
... and so on.

And it so happens, that many, many of her books have Teddy Bears in them. So her favourite pastime now is to sit on the bed, ask me to take out one book after another, and then she opens the pages laboriously with her tiny fingers and looks for "Teddy". She now knows which book has Teddy Bears, and which doesn't, and she also knows which book has multiple instances of Teddy Bears. The other day, she took out a book saying, "Teddy Teddy!", and I tried to tell her that this book doesn't have a Teddy Bear, but she shouted and protested and took the book, and turned it around to show me. The back cover had small pictures of the other books in the series, and one of the books had on it - a miniscule 5 mm Teddy bear. Phew!

She also recently realized that the bear in her animal book is the same as a Teddy Bear. The moment she made that connection is worth remembering. She went still for a moment, then her eyes sparkled, and with tremendous excitement, she pointed to the bear and said, "Teddy!"

She drove me crazy yesterday. She placed all her books around me, sat on my lap, and said, "TeddyTeddyTeddyTeddyTeddy.." at the rate of about 70 times per minute, for about twenty minutes and looked at every Teddy in every book repeatdly until I actually cupped my hand on her mouth, dragged her away and distracted her with something completely different.

Don't be surprised if you shortly find me chanting "TeddyTeddyTeddyTeddy..." - there is a high probability that I might go completely insane.

Sweetness

On Sunday night, we had been to a Gujarati and Rajasthani Special Dinner Buffet at a restaurant. Needless to say, I ate till I was fit to burst and enjoyed every mouthful.

What strikes me as unbelievable, even to myself, is that being such an avid food lover, and a person who is always looking to taste new things, I had never had a complete Gujarati meal, ever. Dhokla, yes, Gujarati snacks, oh yes of course. But a Gujarati meal? Never. So this was something new to me, and I loved the taste, especially the sweetness in all the dishes.

I have heard people say disapprovingly about Gujarati food - "Oh, but everything is sweet!" Well, everything is not sweet, as in completely sugary, but the dishes do have a distinctly sweet element in them. I can understand if people do not like it, but I, personally, quite enjoyed it.

Actually I have heard people complain about sweetness in food quite a bit. A Delhi friend of mine, working in Pune for a while, complained to me that the chicken preparations in Pune are sweet. I have heard people shake their heads disapprovingly about Bengali food and say that they add sugar to everything. I don't know about the chicken of Pune, but I have eaten Bengali food a number of times in my friend's place, and I have enjoyed it every time.

But what surprised me, was when someone, a few years ago, complained to me that Karnataka food is sweet.
"Sweet?" I said, "I don't think so."
"But you add jaggery to everything!"
"Ah, of course, but that is just a tinge of sweetness!"
"But it is sweet!"

Ah well, I guess what is normal for me is sweet for this person! And then I observed the food that my mom makes. Yes, that slight element of sweetness - is it there, is it not there... that mild. But it makes so much difference! I remember once when my mom was away and I made the huLi, and I tasted it to find that it was not satisfactory. When my mom came back, I said, "Amma, I have forgotten something! Not the tamarind, the salt is okay, the khaara is okay, but something is missing!" Mom tasted a bit of it and said, "Bella!" (Jaggery). I quickly added a teeny tiny piece of jaggery to the huLi, mixed it and tasted it, and lo, it was perfect! The sweetness is so mild that you cannot really make out its presence, but it does make a difference.

A good friend of mine, let us call her K, was my hostelmate when I was doing my post-grad in Tamilnadu. She married a man who worked in Bangalore, and came to live here. In one of her conversations, she told me, "Shruthi, you people add jaggery to everything!"
This conversation was old now, for me.
"Yeah", I said wearily, "just a little."
"But it is definitely sweet. I don't like it, really. There is no point going out to restaurants in Bangalore, I'd rather cook at home!"
In the same situation, I know people who would have said, "Baaaah! How can you eat such food?" But K is a decent and sensible sort, so she said, "Shruthi, how could you manage eating the food in Tamilnadu?"
"I had no choice! You can cook at home, but I couldn't do that, I had to eat in the mess!" I said.
Then I decided to be more gracious. "Oh, perhaps adjusting to no sweetness in your food is easier than adjusting to sweetness in your food, who knows?" I said.

Well, something that I don't even notice in my food, is such a deterrent for someone else!

BUT. Stating that "Kannadigas add something sweet to everything" will be a false statement. Even though S~ and I are both Kannadigas, and from comparatively similar families, our food is quite different. My mom-in-law doesn't add jaggery to any dish. It took me a very long time to pinpoint what the difference was. As always, we tend to find most comforting what we are basically used to, and so I still prefer that imperceptible tinge of sweetness in my food.

Food habits - fascinating, aren't they?

The Park and the People

The Neighbourhood Park is one of the central themes in Puttachi's life. It is a very well-developed park, one of the many in our area, but this stands out for its beautiful landscaping and unique design. It is not too big a park, just the right size, I would say. And it is the closest to our home, and so Puttachi gets to go to this park every day.

There was a time when we would carry her in the sling and walk around the park. Then came the era when we would half carry, half hold her hand as she attempted to take unsteady steps. Then we watched her carefully as she took steps on her own. And now? Now we run after her as she sprints towards the children's play area in the park. Yes. Yesterday's little baby now plays on the swing, goes on three types of merry-go-rounds, and slides down the slides.

Puttachi is an extremely friendly child. Her walk in the park is interspersed with "Hi"s and "Hello"s and hand-waving and smiling at random people. All strangers. She has a special liking for couples who huddle together on the benches. New couples, veteran couples, happy couples, quarelling couples - our girl has to stop and talk to every one of them. And she invariably leaves smiles behind.

Her walk is also interrupted by her squatting suddenly to look at an ant, or a fruit, or an oddly-shaped leaf, or even a smudge on the walking path. Only dragging her away serves to break her concentration.

There are many, many children in the park too. Puttachi delights in talking to them. She carries on a conversation with every child, whether they want it or not. Some of them respond in kind, some get alarmed at Puttachi's advances, and hide their faces in their mothers' dress. There are different kinds of parents too. Some of them stop to talk, and we exchange data like ages, number of teeth, and latest activities of our children, and there are some garrulous types, after fifteen minutes of talking to whom, I will be privy to details like how long the labour was, and why the child wears Huggies and not Pampers.

Then there are also parents who look like they have just swallowed a spider, and who drag their child away while s/he is attempting to make conversation with Putachi. I don't understand these types, but well, to each his own.

And there are these over-friendly adults, who come right at Puttachi, and without any warning or by-your-leaves, snatch her up and start cuddling her or covering her face with kisses. The poor thing gets shocked and uncomfortable and bawls. People!

And then there was this 2.5 year old boy who came to Puttachi and started patting her cheeks. His parents told him, "Cute baby, allva? Give her an Umma." The boy dutifully bent down, and before we could even react, gave Puttachi a big wet sloppy kiss... on her LIPS! The parents looked at us proudly as if their son had bestowed a huge honour on us, but the moment their backs were turned, S~ took out his handkerchief and wiped Puttachi's mouth clean :D

Then there was this chubby little white child, about a year older to Puttachi, who skipped and hopped her way towards Puttachi. "Say hello", I prompted Puttachi, but she was busy scrutinizing the child's blonde hair. Meanwhile the child's mother came up from behind her and said, "Say Namaste!" And that left us feeling slightly embarassed. "Hello", as opposed to "Namaste"! I went home and taught Puttachi Namaste that day.

Elderly men and women are particularly friendly with Puttachi. The grandmothers smile and nod appreciatively while asking about her age, and express delight at what a quick child she is, and tell their friends, other grandmothers.. "The kids these days....." Grandfathers, on the other hand, are silent admirers, they just reach out with a walking stick while Puttachi stares in fascination at their mufflered heads. One old grandfather gives Puttachi something each time he meets her. The first time, it was a few coins, and yesterday, it was a mint, which I immediately confiscated.

Puttachi loves the park. And she gets to go twice every day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening. When she wakes up in the morning, I feed her a little something, after which my father-in-law takes her to this same park for the better part of an hour. After she gets back, she promptly comes to me, says "Bow Bow!" and "Kaaka", implying that she saw a dog and a crow at a park, which, in all probability, she wouldn't have. But well, that is the routine. And then I feed her a second, heartier breakfast.

Well, this morning visit to the park has ensured that she has a set of morning friends too. Sometimes these morning friends meet us in the evening visit to the parkand talk to us. Just yesterday, a man who was passing by, jogging, stopped and said, "Puttachi! Fancy seeing you in the evening too! Oh you are her parents" He gushed on. and this kid looks up and bats her eyelashes at him, while I am still reeling with shock at a stranger calling my baby by her name. Then this man told us, "She comes to the park every morning with her grandfather. She is very popular in the park, you know!" "No, I don't know! Are you talking about my baby?" screamed my brain, while outwardly, I was smiling and nodding. My 1 year old daughter already has a life of her own, of which I am not a part! :)

One thing about life with a baby - there is not a single dull moment!

On Reality Shows

I am sure you have heard about Shinjini, the 16-year old girl who was criticized for her performance in a dance reality show, driving her into depression. She has now lost her voice, and the movement in her limbs, and is under treatment in NIMHANS, Bangalore. Her parents blame the jury of the show, and are angry that the media is pointing fingers at them. Who is responsible? Well, I say that everybody is responsible. The parents, the jury, the makers of the show, the channel, and all of us too, the audience who watch and applaud these shows.

It was cute, I admit it, when the first reality show with children was aired. We watched transfixed, marveling at the immense talent of these kids. The TRPs soared, the other channels caught on, and now you have a proliferation of reality shows in all channels, all languages, all kinds (dance/music/talent/you-name-it).

As I hardly watch television, I am not too familiar with national shows. But I get fleeting glimpses of the Kannada reality shows when my mom-in-law watches television. Admittedly, the kids are super-talented, and it is a pleasure to hear a few of them sing. But to put them through all that stress, the competition, is it really fair on them?

I have seen how those innocent faces crunch up with tension when the results are being announced, I see how some of them break down when they are eliminated, I can see the tears and disappointment in the parents' eyes, I can see some parents who get up and start fighting, and then I can see embarrassment on the child's face... really, is all this necessary?

Do they want to bring out talent? Let them have shows, just shows, not competitions.. but of course, the TRPs will drop you see..... I know people who watched the elimination rounds of Indian Idol and American Idol just to see how rude the judges were to the participants. So, obviously, people like to watch the judges put the participants down, and so the programmes have them. TRPs, you see...

A couple of Kannada shows that I have seen have the judges being very soft to the children. They correct them, but very gently. It can be argued that the kids can be praised publicly, but corrected in private. But that is not enough. To put kids through stressful competitions like these is not excusable.

And I don't even want to talk about those dance shows. Little girls, dressed in shiny, skimpy, stuff, moving their body to obscene lyrics - cringe-worthy and disgusting to say the least. I cannot believe that people actually watch it with pleasure.

Everything, everything for that elusive fifteen seconds of fame.

Childhood is the only innocent stage we have in our lives. Why sully this golden period? Let children remain children.

Quirks

I have observed that all kids have quirks of their own. What is more, they change from time to time.

Puttachi's latest quirks are:

-- Barking like a dog. When she wakes up from sleep/nap, she gives me a huge smile, says "Hi-ii" exactly like I say it, and then her eyes widen and she barks sincerely "Bow bow bow bow". She comes back from the park, she barks. She meets me after any period of time, she barks. She wakes up in the middle of the night, sits up and barks. I have no idea why she does that. But from time to time, she barks with great concentration.

-- Kids have "loveys", objects that they like to hold when they fall asleep, objects that comfort them. Some have teddy bears, some have dolls, some have other stuffed toys. Puttachi has.... the ring on my finger. Yes you heard it right. Her palm has to hold my ring finger, and her fingers have to grasp the ring, and then she is comforted and falls asleep. I have no idea when she picked up this habit, but even in the middle of the night, when I reach out to pat her, she gropes my hand for the ring. If I sleepily pat her with the other ring-less hand, she flings that hand away, and whimpers until I give her this hand, and then she clutches at the ring and promptly calms down.

Last week, I was laid up with a terrible catch in the shoulder, so S~ slept on that side of the bed closer to the crib so that he could be the one to pat Puttachi back to sleep. When Puttachi groped for the ring, he had to take my ring, and slip it on his little finger(the only finger it fit), and offer his hand to her. But our Little Miss Particular would have none of it. Finally, S~ had to put Puttachi on the bed next to me, where she held my finger and fell asleep. Phew!

-- She has this habbit of appending a "n" sound to most of her words. So, "Teddy" is "Teddn", "Tata" is "Tatn", "Taachi" is "Taachn", "Haaku" is "Haakn" and so on. Her favourite activity these days is hugging - and she goes around saying "Hugn" and hugging everything in sight. The "n" appendage is not pronounced as "Hug-en" it is a Hug, followed closely by the "n" sound. The "n" is the same sound as the nasal consonant that comes after "Ka Kha Ga Gha" in the Kannada/Devanagari alphabet. And S~ and I speak in her style - "Let's go for a walkn in the parkn", "Have you hadn your lunchn?"

****

Ok, this is not a quirk - but I just remembered, so added it. They say kids say it like it is, and I just got a taste of it. Puttachi was looking through a very bright Picture Dictionary that she has, and suddenly she pointed to one of the illustrations and went "Amma! Amma!" excitedly. I peered into it to see what she was pointing at. It was one of Cinderella's step-sisters, a caricature with thick black hair and a long nose, and it was an illustration to explain the meaning of the word - "ugly".
Sigh.

Discpline your kids, they say.....

Scene 1:

Puttachi is chewing on one of her toys and I am teaching her not to do so.

Me: Puttachi, ringna baayige haakikobaaradu. (You should not put the ring into your mouth).

Puttachi smiles, and continues chewing the ring.

Me: Puttachi, listen. Ring.. baayi.. no-no (Ring.. mouth.. no-no)

Puttachi: nonnonnonnnnooo

Me: Yes, that's right. Ring.. baayi.. no-no.

Puttachi: Baayi.. nonnonnnoooo

Me: Correct! you got it. Ring.. baayi.. no-no-no *shaking my finger*

Puttachi: *wags her finger* baayi... nonnooo

Me: Yes! *Satisfied, settles back on the cushions*

Puttachi smiles and puts the ring back into her mouth.


Scene 2:

Puttachi loves the slippers I wear at home. She touches them at the slightest opportunity. I have spent weeks telling her not to touch them, that they are "Thoo... Cheee... Vakk"... and I make a big deal of washing her hands and I keep repeating it ad infinitum.

Yesterday. I am watching her play, when she spots my slippers where I have left them near the bed. Instead of jumping up and hiding the slippers, I watch to see what she will do. Puttachi goes up to the slippers, looks at them, starts to bend down, then straightens up and walks past them.

I exult. I jump up. I pump the air with my fist, and do a little jig. After I am done, I turn around and look at Puttachi, only to see her standing there, happiness written all over her face, and........holding a slipper in each hand.

Scene 3:

Puttachi is playing on the bed, and at short intervals, she takes a couple of toys and throws them off the edge of the bed, and takes great delight in it. And then she screams for me to pick it up and give it back to her. I have been telling her for the past half an hour not to do that, I have been refusing to give the toys back to her because she threw them. I have been pretending to be very angry.... all that. Finally it looks like it has worked, she goes nearly ten minutes without throwing toys off the bed.

And then she takes a couple of toys and goes up to the edge of the bed. I am giving her piercing looks. She pauses at the edge, looks at me from the corner of her eye. When she sees me watching, her eyes fill with mischief, a huge grin breaks out on her face, and with the utmost delight, she throws the toys off the bed, and giggling with glee, she turns a back flip, lands on her back, cycles in the air with happiness, all the while looking at me. And me looking stupid with the useless stern look plastered on my face.

Kids!

But really, how do you make them understand? She watches me throw her dirty clothes into the tub kept for that purpose. Sometimes I just drop it in, sometimes I throw it across the room into the tub. She imitates everything I do, and so she does the same with other objects. Amma throws clothes, I throw toys. How can you tell her the difference?

How do you make her understand that footrugs and footwear and bathroom floors can be touched with the feet, and not with the hands? How will the poor kid make out the difference? Feet-ok, hands-not ok, why?

You encourage her and clap when she upturns her box of blocks with a flourish, and you expect her not to spill a glass of water with the same action, the same flourish. How will she understand?

But even when she does understand that something is forbidden, she does it all the same, with greater delight - what do I make of that?

It will happen with time, I know.. and until then... Puttachi! Puttachi! Stop! come back here this instant!

Time

I was watching the beautiful movie "Fiddler On The Roof" for the nth time. There is this song during Tzeitel's wedding, where her parents look at the couple and this song plays in the background"

Is this the little girl I carried
Is this the little boy at play

I don't remember growing old
When did they?

I feel that way already about my one year old Puttachi. I remember the way she was when she was brought to me minutes after she was born, and I look at her now... how much she has grown. So much time has passed, but I am still the same. Well, time hasn't stood still for me. Time has aged me that much more, but I don't feel it. But the passage of that time is more than evident on my baby.

I am sure it will be this way... My daughter will become five years old, ten years old, twenty..... and I will turn thirty, forty, fifty, sixty... and then wonder.. where did all those years go?

Sunrise sunset
Sunrise Sunset
Swiftly fly the days

Says the same song. That is how it is, isn't it? And those days become years before you know it.

During Puttachi's early days, my mother would tell me. "All this takes me back to the time when I was a new mother. Being awakened at unearthly hours by a tiny whimper, and the sleeplessness, the smell of milk and baby powder, the baby clothes, the soft, warm, bundle in my arms... it is the same thing happening all over again... this could be yesterday.... this could be my baby... but hey, when did my little baby grow up, old enough to have a baby of her own?"

Where did those years go? How did the time fly by? It is an unsettling thought.

Some news, and a tag

I have started working from home, part-time. I'm enjoying it. So If blogging becomes slow, you know what to blame!

And, as if I have extra time now, I have decided to start responding to comments again, because I feel terribly guilty for not responding to all those nice, insightful comments that I receive.

And now, since I don't have any ready posts in my kitty, I take refuge in another tag, again passed on by Shyam.

The rules of the tag are:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

The book nearest to me is "Baby Donald's day at the beach", which has only about ten pages, so I am going to pick up the book second closest to me, which is "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (recommended by and borrowed from Ano).

The relevant passage is:
"It was addressed to his daughter and the monogram "J.U.C." was imprinted on the seal. He slipped it under the door when he passed Fermina's bedroom, and she never understood how it had come there, since it was unconceivable to her that her father had changed so much that he would bring her a letter from a suitor. She left it on the night table, for the truth was she did not know what to do with it, and there it stayed, unopened, for several days, until one rainy afternoon when Fermina Daza dreamed that Juvenal Urbino had returned to the house to give her the tongue depressor he had used to examine her throat."

I wonder what the point of this tag is. Any ideas? :)

My favourite literary characters!

Shyam asked me to do a very interesting tag, the name of which I have shortened to "List your ten favourite characters from literature." So here they are!


Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird; Author: Harper Lee) - THE man. Smart, caring, bold, stands up for what he thinks is right, and a great father - in my view, he is the best character to have walked the literary earth.

Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice; Author: Jane Austen) - The dashing gentleman - rich, handsome, proud, wronged and misunderstood, but comes out smelling of roses at the end. I read this book in my teens, and I was head over heels in love with this character.

Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind; Author: Margaret Mitchell) - Oh, he is wicked, he is dashing, he is smart - and he totally enjoys his life - without any qualms. The man who can sweep anybody off her feet. I don't really remember "liking" this character, but I waited eagerly for passages with him in the book, and I guess that makes him a "favourite"!

Mma Precious Ramotswe (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series; Author: Alexander McCall-Smith). The very likable protagonist of The No.1 Ladies Detective series. She is firm, opinionated, independent, capable, brave, and intelligent. And supremely contented with life - except when there is a mystery to solve!

Treebeard (The Lord of the Rings; Author: JRR Tolkien) - An "Ent". The most interesting creature that I have encountered in fiction. Ancient, huge, tree-like, slow and measured, and most of all, fascinating.

Jeeves (Jeeves series; Author: P.G.Wodehouse) - The perfect butler. Poker faced, brilliant, just-so. The perfect foil to his bumbling employer Bertie Wooster (who is also a wonderful character). I absolutely love the way Jeeves gets Bertie to give up a piece of garment that Jeeves find jarring, by just giving his employer the cold shoulder, and by refusing to fish him out of trouble.

Mark Thackeray (To Sir With Love; Author: E.R.Braithwaite) - He is smart, he is intelligent, and he knows just how to win the most difficult people over. Without any effort at all. And what a teacher he is, how patient, how understanding! It also helps that I absolutely loved Sydney Poitier in the movie of the same name.


Miss Marple (Miss Marple series; Author: Agatha Christie) - The tiny, fragile, mildmannered old lady with the sharp brain. I love how she sits in her armchair and solves mysteries just by comparing the events with seemingly harmless occurences in her countryside village.

O-lan (The Good Earth; Author: Pearl S.Buck) - The strong-willed, hardworking wife of Wang Lung. I read this novel too long ago for me to give you a reasonable character sketch, but I remember being very impressed with her.

Heidi (Heidi; Author: Johanna Spyri) - One of my all-time favourite characters, from a novel I loved as a child. Heidi is this adorable, bubbly little girl who goes to live with her Grandpa in his house in the Alps. Such a feel-good story. And there was a fabulous animated series on Cartoon Network on Heidi. Very well-made, with the most beautiful music. I still hum with pleasure the title song, after all these years. [I just did a search on youtube, and to my utter delight, I found the opening music, and the very lively and lovely closing music - my personal favourite - too. I am listening to it over and over again and feeling young and restless again! :)]

Ah! That was one of the most enjoyable tags ever. I'm sure some of you would enjoy doing it, or rather, I would like to read your choices. Ano, Devaki, Anil, Anu, Chitra, Poppins, my2cents, Usha, would you like to try?

And any other book-crazy person out there, please pick up this tag! I assure you, it's a lot of fun.