Sunday, January 19, 2014

Day 19 - Losing weight

A couple of years ago, I lost weight.  Just a couple of kgs, but apparently, it showed up as a drastic slimming, especially because I was not plump to begin with.   The weight loss wasn't planned, it just happened.  And now, since the last six months, I've apparently lost another 1 kg or so.  

So why all this weight talk?

Because everybody who meets me, greets me with comments that range from "Haven't you lost weight since the last time we met?" right up to "Oh my God, what happened to you?  You look positively sick!  Oh my god, have you visited a doctor?"  And they hold my hand as if it is the last time they're going to meet me.

I laughed the first few times, but then it really got to me, and I got worked up and actually visited a doctor.  After the doc had laughed at me a bit, she prescribed tests, and thankfully all the results were normal.  But that didn't solve the problem, because everybody I meet has something to say about my weight.

I am not getting tired, I am not falling sick.  I eat well.  On an average day, I cook, clean, do the chores, run errands, pick up and drop Puttachi from school (walking,) go walking/do yoga, play badminton, and read and write and attend to Puttachi's needs - and I don't feel unusually tired at the end of the day, and I think that means I am alright.

And now, I am becoming conscious.  I was never conscious about my looks, except perhaps in my teens.  But now, I look into the mirror and think, "Am I looking thin?"  And I hate that I am doing this.  In fact, it has gotten so bad that when I learned that I have to attend a get-together this week, I cringed thinking of the number of comments I have to hear about my weight, and I started thinking about what to wear so that I look plumper.

This is so not me.  And this is something I have to overcome.  I have no idea how, though.


Radhika said...

Such comments must be from people who failed to lose weight. When you are keeping fit and healthy, ignore the comments :-)

sunshine said...

First, who are "people"? Do their opinions matter to you, more than how you feel about yourself? We are never perfect for people. For them, we will always be too skinny, too fat, too dark skinned, too hardworking, too unmarried, too forward, ... the list is endless. For years, I have heard unsolicited advice about how I should get married before it is too late to have children, how I should move to India to live with family, how I should study science, how I should do engineering, etc. Once, I was also told that I was too educated. What I am saying is nothing new, but I totally ignore people, giving them a distant look, or dealing with it using humor. Imagine that you have an impenetrable wall between you and people. It will work wonders.

Manish'sMom said...

For you its looking too thin! For me its being morbidly obese! There is no pleasing people is there? Almost 99% of the time, its people I haven't met for almost more than 10 years who make the most comments on my weight. There was a reason why I did not meet these people for decades. Guess why? They don't really matter to me!

Bit Hawk said...

I think all your friends who follow your blog, will pick up the cue and say things like "Oh you are looking much fatter since I saw you last" when they meet you next ;)

Manish'sMom said...

Unfortunately, my own mother belongs to the category of people who think that being overweight is equivalent to being lazy, self indulgent and selfish. She truly believes that whatever little success that my husband (who is also overweight) and I have is due to sheer good luck. If we tell her about anything we have done or achieved, the first thing she says is, 'what is the use? you have not lost weight; lose weight and this might mean something.' How sad is that? And the worst part is that even after 39 years, it still hurts.I am hoping my 40s will teach me that there is more to me than just my weight alone. So as sunshine says, we are never perfect for people. Sometimes its the people who are closest to you; who also can cut the deepest. I am learning to live with that.Is it a reflection of the times we live in? Where appearance and looking 'Good' is all that matters? Are you somehow a lesser person if you don't meet the thin, tall, fair & beautiful category? I don't know.

Shruthi said...

Radhika, easy to say :) that's where I am failing!

Sunshine, totally agree with you. And that wall - that is what is essential. I realize how much one can get affected by repetition of a certain thing!

Manish's mom, ayyo :( hugs!

Bit Hawk, heh heh, oh no, now even if they do mean it, I won't believe them ;)

Chaitanya Ram said...

Start meeting people who you haven't met in long loooong time... like me and our balaga :-) I have almost forgotten how you look and so completely incapable of passing such a comment ;-)

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