Sunday, January 16, 2011

Hopefully the end of another silence

There's a reason for my blog silence. A while ago, I browsed through my blog archives. While some of my posts are quite a pleasure to read (Did I write that? Wow!), most of them make me cringe. If not the language, it's my ideas and opinions. They've changed. Or they've undergone a slight shift. At times, I don't recognize myself. Sometimes I sound all lofty and holier-than-thou, sometimes I sound absolutely stupid.

But I'm not beating myself too much over it. This blog has been around for nearly six years now, and I've moved from the silly twenties to (what I think is) the serene thirties. I've moved from being newly-married, to a mother of a three-year-old. I've moved from being in a job I hated, to being at peace with what I'm doing. I've changed in so many ways, and it is but natural that my blog reflects it.

Yet, that doesn't take away the cringing. And as a result, I'm hesitant to put up anything that'll make me blush in six years' time.

For me, writing this is like starting to blog all over again. I remember when I put up my first post - the first time I ever put up my words for any random person to read. It is kind of like baring yourself - putting yourself out there for the world to judge. How difficult it was back then - and how easy it became with each new post!

Perhaps as a result of all this, I found that when I forced myself to write something, I was judging my own words - and they came out stilted and flat. And that is so not what I wanted. I didn't want to write for the sake of keeping my blog alive. So I held off - but today I felt like writing this down, and so here I am.

14 comments:

PeeVee said...

Happy to read anything from you! :)

hAAthi said...

i think regardless of what your words seem like to you in retrospect, as a reader, i find everything thats here a delight to read :) so i hope this is the end of another silence :)

Devaki said...

If it helps any, I recently read some of your archives, and 'still' found your posts very well-written, balanced and thought-provoking. So there!!!

Of course, I cringe when I read my own older posts but we won't talk about that. :)

anoop said...

rightly said.
I hope you find the ever elusive middle path and start writing again with the same fervor and determination.

Anonymous said...

Your posts are wonderful , with an easy free flowing narrative.Even simple subjects are so well- articulated


Keep writing :-)


jm

Raj said...

Shruthi, that's the fun part. it's like looking at an old photograph of yours, wondering what made you like that particular piece of dress so much. Didn't you have a post on a bright-coloured frock that you adored as a kid, but felt embarrassed when you looked at the photo now?

M S Raghunandan said...

well worded. reflects many of my feelings, better phrased.

Raam Pyari said...

you write very well :) and i love all your posts!

Shyam said...

Ask your readers about the merits of your writing, Shruthi! You'll get a resounding "PLEASE KEEP THE POSTS COMING". :)

snippetsnscribbles said...

We all feel that, dont we? That we have changed and evolved and certain things do not reflect us anymore? But thats the beauty of it, I would say.

I do hope you will continue to write. Like PeeVee said - happy to read anything from you :)

Adu said...

I haven't been following you for all the six years, admittedly...but whatever I've read has been so beautifully told :) You're a very patient writer...patient and loving in the unfolding of your stories.

Okay, going off on a tangent here --
maybe the patience comes from your singing practice? Both would require a similar kind of meditative rigour, no?

Shruthi said...

Everybody, thank you all so much for the vote of confidence :D

Raj, yes, but I don't put up a picture of me in that gaudy frock for all the world to see! Btw, I can't believe you remember that! I'd even forgotten that I'd written about it.

Adu, you should see me now, ROFL. Practising music with patience? Me? I wish! And the last time I practised music was so long ago that it seems like a previous birth :O
Thank you so much for your words :) How's the little one? :)

Adu said...

ha ha :) well, you must have built up a lot of patience some other way...perhaps by answering puttachi's endless questions :) (loved that post)

starry eyed said...

I cringe at some of my old posts too...but then the theme of my blog is change, so then I relax...knowing change is inevitable and necessary! I will never be as foolish as I was yesterday, and I will be much wiser tomorrow! Keep writing, you!

- -