Thursday, July 16, 2009

This time of my own....

It has been more than two years since Puttachi was born, and she has never stayed away from me overnight. A few hours, yes, eight hours being the longest time she has been away from me. But yesterday, my parents took her home with them.

I am getting glowing reports. She is no trouble at all, everything is hunky-dory. She is enjoying herself thoroughly - and not once has she even mentioned me! I tried to get her to talk to me on the phone - but she was too busy listening to stories that my mother was telling her about Peevee and me.

As for me, I am feeling very weird. In the night, it seemed strange to not feel the steady, heavy breathing on the crib next to my bed. I missed the little hand, soft and warm, creeping up towards mine to hold the ring on my finger. But I welcomed the rare undisturbed sleep.

For about twenty minutes this morning, I couldn't think of what to do at all and felt uneasy and restless. Then I slapped my forehead, exclaimed, "Carpe diem!" and am relishing this time of my own.

Until tomorrow, then...

Update at 1:25 PM: So much for seizing the day. I am bored stiff, and am feeling so lazy that I don't feel like moving a limb to do all those things I had planned.

Update at 3 PM: I was so bored that I had a nap. I have stopped having naps after Puttachi was born (unless I am tired) because I think them a waste of precious time.

How ironic! When Puttachi is around, I feel like snatching a little time for myself all the time, and now that she is nice and safe and happy in mom's hands, I have all the time to do everything, but I absolutely cannot get myself to move.

I simply must stop these twitter-like updates and do something. Ta.

P.S. Aaaaargh!!

15 comments:

movies in Delhi said...

True hallucinations.......seems as if we both are sailing in same boat. I too want some time for myself but at same time want to be with my baby.

Hey 1 more thing I am too addicted to twitter :)

oooops i forgot but its a nice post KUDOS

Vijay said...

ha ha ha...a true mom !!!

praneshachar said...

It is very very true account. I know for you who followed her each and every moment and documented/noted whenever u had time, its quite natural to feel lonely and suddenly so much of time at your disposal. I feel ayyo we miss puttchi tales what is this shruthi's amma has done !!!!
But truly you need a break Njoy and come back with a bang once puttachi is back have a gr8 holiday!!!

Aparna said...

How true! We long for some 'me time' when the children are small, resent getting up at night for the feeding, feel exhausted looking after them and let the fathers and the grandmothers know how tired we feel all the time caring for the tiny tots. Yet, the moment they are gone, we miss them terribly.
Accidentally discovered your blog and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Viky said...

because I think /*of*/ them /*as*/ a waste of precious time.

Shyam said...

Very much like having a job :) You think "if only I had a week off, I would do this that and the other" - and if you take a week off, you just sit around reading, or sleeping, or playing Scrabble online, etc! :D

PS - "You" = me!

Jaanamari's appa said...

Yeah my son too beat my wife and my grand images that he's going to miss us etc by having a good time with his granny without us!

When we call on the phone, he's usually too busy to talk to us :)

I googled for Carpe Diem and found a nice video clip (looks like a nice movie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppqb0t_B0KY

Jaanamari's appa said...

Correction: Yeah my son too beat my wife's and my own grand self-images that...

savita said...

I think the first night away is weird - kind of like the first time they go to school - maybe the time away during the day can be enjoyed in 2 hour chunks-- watch a movie, maybe?

Poppy said...

Very true, but let me tell you, you could get used to the luxury pretty soon if it happens often enough :) And I think it's important to do it. Just imagine what would happen if you didn't, you'd forget what it is like to be by yourself!

Jaanamari's appa said...

hope you use this time of your own to post some more entries :)

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Madhu Rao said...

As the saying goes motherhood is where they get the baby out and put the guilt back in.

We are in the same boat as you. My wife more than me.

2 days ago we were woken up by my 1 year old who wanted to play at 2.00 AM. I offered to rock him to sleep in the other room. We played for a bit(had no choice!) and dozed off in the other room after 45 minutes. Dozed off we did till we heard a pacnicked cry from my wife calling out for my son :-) .

She said that was the best 4 hours of sleep she had, but was now striken with guilt.

Nagesh.MVS said...

Ha ha ha...nice..

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Lavs said...

I so agree with you and other bloggers who have left comments here...when LB is around, i crib about being tired and during his absence, i cannot do any other task but miss him immensely...sigh, this motherhood is so difficult!

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