Saturday, November 06, 2010

A realization, and a concern

Ever since Puttachi started school, she's been talking about one classmate, let's call her Kutti. I met her mother once, and she told me that Kutti also keeps talking about Puttachi. I gathered they were "best" friends, in whatever sense it is used for three-year-olds.

About three months ago, we met another classmate in the park that Puttachi frequents. Let's call her Kat. Something about meeting a friend outside school probably gives these children kicks, and after that, Kat entered many of Puttachi's conversations.

Last week, Puttachi's class saw a new girl - I'll call her Angel - and it turns out that Angel has moved to live very close to us, and has started coming to the park. Perhaps it is because they are older now, or perhaps this friendship is a kind of active one, but Puttachi and Angel have hit it off very well.

On Friday, Puttachi came home and told me:
Amma, Kutti is very troublesome.
Really? What does she do?
She doesn't do anything to me, but she troubles Kat and Angel a lot.
When I say, "Kat is my friend, Angel is my friend" and hug them, Kutti pushes Kat and Angel, drags them away, makes them sit on other chairs, and then comes and sits next to me. If they try to come near me, Kutti pushes them away.

My heart went out to Kutti. I can see her now, the tiny little thing, her heart bursting with emotion. At the same time, I was extremely surprised. I don't think there is any one of us who's not been a part of this age-old situation at some point in our lives - but I had no idea this kind of possessiveness, jealousy even, would manifest itself in children of such a young age.

I said,
Puttachi, I think I know why Kutti does that.
Kutti and you are friends, right? You were friends right from the beginning.
Do you still talk to her a lot, and sit next to her like you used to?
Not much, Amma. Kat and Angel sit next to me nowadays.
Kutti probably feels bad that you are not talking to her much. Perhaps she misses you.
Perhaps she likes you.
Do you like her?
Yes Amma. Amma, I will talk to Kutti also. When I go to school next, I will hug Kutti also.
That's a wonderful idea, Puttachi.


We had a lovely 10th standard reunion last Saturday. After lunch, we decided to have ice cream at Corner House.

Puttachi overheard this, and was excited.

Amma, I want pink ice-cream.
Amma, will there be pink ice-cream?
I don't know, let's go and see.
If there is pink ice-cream, I will feel happy and eat it up, but if there is no pink ice-cream, then I will see which ice-cream they have, and I will like it (ishTa maDkotini), and eat it up.

Should I rejoice that this child knows the secret of happiness? Or should I worry that she is going to become too accommodating and compliant?


Revati Upadhya said...

a bit of both perhaps?

theyre both essential skills to acquire in life..being accommodating to a certain extent, and finiding happiness in any situation you are faced with :)

go, puttachi!

Brinda said...

Puttachi tries to make us, her grandparents also accommodating. Sensing that we would miss her, before leaving us after the weekend and Deepaavali visit, she hugged me and exclaimed, "Ajji, if you feel you want me, come on skype or come home on Saturday"!!!
This high tech three and a half year old modern day child !
Shruthi's mom

starry eyed said...

Been thur' this on and off...girls and their school and friendship issues. In an attempt to reconnect with Div, I've been overwhelmed by her pouring out so many troubles...I wondered if it's usual for her, or just becoz I was actually listening for once, did it sound so bad! Will post about it, but briefly, we talked about her options, her feelings and read a couple of books about feelings...I'm determined to stay in touch.

And 3 year olds can can as many or more friendship issues as adults! Luckily they don't hang on to grudges like us and older children!

anoop said...

i hope this kutti wont end up creating trouble to puttachi. but im surprised that puttachi understood ur explanation for why kutti was giving trouble! :P

praneshachar said...

amazing puttachi you are simply a wonder kid for me. keep going and shruthi nurture her all interests she seems to have lot of high thinking compared to her age anything you explain how she accepts be it be pink icecream, kutti or angel simply great may god bless puttachi jai ho puttachi

Bubble Catcher said...

That was very mature and understanding behaviour for a 3 year old kid :)

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